Midnight Snack

Midnight snack

Midnight snack

I squeeze Nessa in my arms as tight as I can, my forearms under her underarms with my hands cupping her shoulders from underneath.  My face is buried in her neck and I can only see her hair and smell her lotion.  My back arches upwards as I grind my hips as deep as I can between her thighs.  She wraps her arms around me head and holds my close to her. It almost feels motherly, because I feel completely safe in her arms, even though I am near my most vulnerable moment.  I feel so safe I just want to climb back inside her, so I dig as deep as I can, trying to put my penis in her womb.  I feel the pain of an orgasm building and I squeeze my muscles so hard my body begins to shake.  My penis is buried so deep inside her vagina I can feel her back walls smashing my head and pushing my shaft back into my own body.  This pressure, the back walls pushing my erect penis back into my prostate, creates a greater orgasm intensity.  The pain hurts.  I slam my dick as hard as I can, hurting us both the entire time, just to get our bodies as conjoined and close as possible while I release inside her.   I shoot everything I have stored in my testicles and listen to her moan as she feels the thrusting of my hips slamming against her crotch.  This deep hard pumping motion is also what Nessa physically enjoys the most.  It makes her cervix twitch and triggers her own orgasm.  She has said to me that she is unsure what really triggers her penetration climaxes, but she notices that after my first release of semen,  her body, specifically her cervix,  starts twitching almost immediately.  She has suggested that it could possibly be from the chemicals in my semen.  I have no idea, but I do know anything happening is nature and our instincts making conception as pleasurable as possible, for both of us.  I’ve heard a woman’s cervix dips into the pool of sperm left inside her while she orgasms, if she gets hers after his.  I wouldn’t be surprised if the chemicals in sperm create this reaction, as it helps with conception, but I’d assume it also is a mental thing, knowing she just made a grown man turn to mush in her arms simply by letting him feel and explore her special little hole she kept hidden from everyone her whole life.  That’s got to be a powerful feeling for a woman.

As I lay on her chest for a moment and listen to her heartbeat, I can still feel her vagina walls convulsing and tightening around my dick.  Her eyes stayed closed and she is bitting her lips.   I tried to whisper something in her ear and she immediately said, “shhhhh.”  Her “penetration orgasms” can last up to a minute after I stop moving, so I will lay on top of her with my softening dick inside her until she is through.  Although not as intense as her “clitorial orgasms”, she seems almost numbed and out of consciousness for a longer period of time.  She will not respond or talk, just move her hips slow and tighten around my dick until her body is done spasming.   

The smell of her lotion has changed a bit because of the heat of her body.  Everything feels perfect.  I get up and kiss her forehead and tell her how good she felt.  We both confirm that we enjoyed the moment.  It’s always special when both of your bodies our on the same page and you orgasm in unison.  I get off of her and slowly let my penis slide out of her body.  She immediately closes her legs to keep all of my semen inside her.  I head to the shower while she lays in bed keeping her eyes closed.  I notice that she has slid her hand down over her pussy and is slowly circling her clit with her fingers.  Her cool down.  Nessa enjoys the idea of her body absorbing my semen, and has acknowledged that she does feel the affect of the hormones and mood altering chemicals the longer she keeps my full load trapped inside her  (some people have a hard time grasping this concept — she doesn’t).  

As I finish my shower, Nessa strolls in behind me holding her fingers up to her pussy lips so my semen doesn’t drip all over the place.   I step out of the shower and she slaps my ass jokingly saying she loves my “juicy booty.”   Her mood after sex is always positive and upbeat.  I dry off and lay down in bed nude as she hops in the shower and washes off.   After she is done with the shower she walks past the bed and lifts the covers.  She glances at my butt or package or whatever she sees and makes a teasing, “ohhhhhhhhhhewwww” sound.  I pretend to not care but I love how playful she gets after sex.  She sits down at the computer desk and begins to work on a blog.  At this point, I am extremely tired and pass out.

I wake up panicked because I feel this weird sensation in my stomach.  I had probably  been asleep for an hour or two, so it was a deep sleep you normally do not wake up from.  Immediately I can feel my legs, feet, and chest exposed to the air because my cover and sheet is completely off me.  I was sleeping nude, so I didn’t feel anything removed or tugged on.  I look down and see Nessa laying her head on my legs sucking my dick, which for whatever reason, gave me a butterfly sensation in my stomach.  I wasn’t hard, so she was sucking my flaccid dick with her head sidesways in my lap.  I’ve never really sat back and thought what it would feel like to have my penis in a girls mouth while I was totally unconscious or not wanting that sensation.  It feels weird.  To explain it better for those who can’t imagine this experience, think about someone nicely tickling your back as you fall asleep.   It would feel great and relaxing.  However, if you woke up and someone was tickling your back, it would almost freak you out.  Your mind has to grasp what is going on for you to really enjoy these things.  Getting my dick sucked was no different.  

What’s funny is, writing this blog reminds me of another time recently when Nessa was sucking my dick and stroking me while I had already fallen asleep.  I remember having a partial erection but was so tired I was in and out of consciousness.  Each time I woke up I had this huge urge to just cum everywhere, but I’d fall back to sleep and dream about my penis feeling extremely oversized and hard.   Eventually, I believe I came and she swallowed or cleaned everything, but honestly I am unsure exactly what happen.   I had an orgasm sleeping, but only Nessa knows how it looked or took place.  It seems scary  like sneezing with your eyes open, but I do wonder if I moaned or made an “o” face in my sleep.  A few times after this incident I’ve joked publicly about being taken advantage of, but joke or no joke,  it is definitely possible.   Nessa has managed to make me orgasm while I was sleeping. 

Oops, I jumped off track a bit. 

Anyway, I woke up and Nessa is sucking my dick.  Her body is faced up and she is laying her head in my lap.  Her face is sideways with my flaccid dick in her mouth, sucking.  I also hear this buzzing sound and look over to see both her legs spread and her massager between her thighs.  Nessa has told me she enjoys her orgasms more if she has my penis in her mouth.  I do not know if its a comfort thing, or it just turns her on to feel my penis in her mouth and throat while she cums, but she woke me up just to suck on my dick while she played with herself (not the first time we have done this, as a lot of times when we face fuck, she will use her massager and cum while  my whole dick is going in and out of her throat — which she has blogged about loving to cum while she can’t breath — deep throating).  I assume, had I not just had sex before I fell asleep I would have woke up and participated a bit more, but that didn’t happen.  I fell back asleep and woke up to her screaming with my dick almost vibrating in her mouth as she came.  She shoved her face onto my crotch to get all of my dick in her mouth and throat, and yelled as she came, except she can’t yell.  My dick just vibrated.  I felt this huge jolt but only hear a muffled gasp.  A very intense gasp, but muffled.

I am immediately excited and feel myself growing in her mouth.  She had different plans.  She turned her toy off, threw the covers back on me and rolled over.  Within a minute she was asleep.  That’s it.  I wish I had more to tell you about this story, but that is it.  I’d say it was anticlimactic, but for Nessa, it wasn’t.  For you as the reader, and me, it was. 

I love her.

Q & A: Why Does My Wife Say My Small Penis Is Large?

sex talkRay via Internet:

Hello Nessa and Ryan.  I’ve never really emailed a question to a website before but yours seems interesting and I would love your opinion on a certain issue I have been dealing with.

A quick background.  I’ve been married for about 7 years and so far everything seems great.  We both have normal sex drives and usually have sex about 2-3 times a week.  As a kid in the lockerrooms, and later in college, I was always teased about my penis size.  I was on the wrestling team and the guys nicknamed me, “Light Switch.”  As you know, the singlets don’t hide much.   My wife also knows this because we started dating in college.  Although she never teased me, she knew of the nickname.  It never really seemed to bother her.

I’ve also viewed a few articles about the average penis sizes in men all over the world.   I am considerably under most of the averages, except for like Korea.  Too bad I don’t live in Korea (bad joke I know)!   I am unsure if you need my exact size, if so, just email me back.  

Either way, it’s well under average but I have never had problems getting my wife to orgasm.  Most of the time I will make her orgasm prior to intercourse with my fingers or tongue.  Lately, she has been talking dirty in the middle of sex and she started saying things like:  “Oh my god, your cock is huge!”  “You are going to tear me in half with that fucking big dick.”   “I have never seen anyone as hung as you.”

I know this sounds a little wierd but what should I do?  I am unsure if she is teasing me or I really am the biggest man she has ever had.   Why would she say these things?   Neither of us were virgins and she never lived in Korea, or dated a Korean, so I have a hard time believing I am the most hung man she has ever seen.   Your thoughts?

 

Nessa’s thoughts:

Thank you for your question.  I particularly like this one for several reasons.  But first let me explain something – “penis average” reports are subjective in the same way pain is subjective.  My threshold of pain is higher than Ryan’s, but if we present a back problem to a doctor, we will be prescribed the same medicine, even if my pain tolerance is higher.  The standards of measurement are ..well, who KNOWS what the standards are!  For the sake of argument, the measurements of other penises worldwide are irrelevant in your situation.

I understand your frustration and the questions you must have as to how genuine your wife is in calling your cock huge.  In all reality, who cares if she honestly does or doesn’t believe your measurement is longer, wider, etc than any guy she’s been with.  I want to congratulate her personally for figuring out what many women do not do: express to her man that he has the biggest dick she’s ever had.  If I tell a chef, “This is the best tiramisu I’ve ever tasted!” I promise you he will not go home that night and question the deliciousness of the dessert.  Instead, he will relish in the fact that he has satisfied a customer to the point where he has claimed he has tasted nothing better than what he was just served.  The chef will look over his ingredients, preparation, and attempt to recreate the recipe over and over for future customers.  That is, until a food critic says otherwise.

Saying you have the biggest cock she’s ever had makes her a good lover, not a liar; it makes her an awesome wife, not a deceiver.  The more she says this, the more she will believe it and the more it will be true.  She says it to you to boost your ego, which in turn will help you to become a more confident lover.  When you’re having sex, her mind is focused on you and your body, and what you do to her.  Don’t allow your obsession with any hidden agendas on her part take away from the intimacy that you share together.  Your constant looking into the gift horse’s mouth will put thoughts in your head that put a wedge between you two.  Men WANT a woman who tell them their dicks are huge.  Be appreciative that she does it of her own accord.

Ryan’s thoughts:

 These things are always so easy to answer for me.  COMMUNICATION.  Ask her.

I guess for this blog I can write a few assumptions but that’s all they would be, assumptions.  

Does it turn you on to hear how big you are?  Maybe this makes you fuck her better?  Maybe when she mentions how big she thinks your penis is, you get extra excited and it does get bigger?  Maybe she enjoys feeling your excitement when she tells you how big you are?  Maybe it turns her on to fantasize about you being huge?  Maybe she thinks you are huge?  Maybe she is vocalizing what she thinks in her head, and wants you to hear and affirm her thoughts?  Maybe it turns her on more to know you accept you’re huge to her?  Maybe she just wants you to fuck her like you are huge and the alpha of all men?    Attitude.

Let’s say she doesn’t think your dick is huge, but during sex these thoughts pass through her mind.  Her talk is equivalent to role play.  I’ve fucked Nessa from behind and pretended I was raping her.   Does that mean she was raped?  Absolutely not.  It’s just random thoughts that pop into our head to make the situation exciting and different.   Good sex is almost all mental.  If she tells herself you have the biggest cock in the world, she can put herself in that situation mentally and absolutely enjoy the idea of a being with a horse cocked man.  A lot of good women do this without their husbands ever knowing.  It’s not a mistake that most happy women feel their man’s size is perfect for them.  Women on marriage websites will brag about their husbands being huge, especially newlyweds.  The first thing these women say if things end up not working out?  “Oh my god, he was tiny.”  Does that mean she was lying?  NO.  When a woman is happy with a man, everything is better, including your dick.  When a woman is happy with you, in her mind, your dick is a redwood tree and she enjoys the idea of being your lumberjack.  When she is unhappy, your dick is a tumbleweed and she prefers nothing more than watching that little dried up shrub to roll on by.   All mental.   Guys do the same thing, whether it be about smells, how good she is in bed, etc.

The mind is a powerful thing.  I do not think women consciously come up with these evil plots to trick men, but because of love, they truly want their spouse to be the man of all men.  I’ve accepted this.  Sometimes Nessa will see a large object or a giant penis and immediately whisper in my ear, “that’s small compared to you…..” and she’ll grab my crotch like she is pinching a baby’s cheeks — not reach down and barely be able to hug my mountain of a crotch because it”s so huge she can’t get her arms around it.  However, she is not joking, she absolutely means it.  It’s not true, but she means it.  Her intentions aren’t mean, aren’t evil, aren’t trickery, it’s what she feels.  She is proud of her husband regardless of his dick size, and to let him know, she communicates this with him.  That’s what good women do.   As a good man, don’t question it.  Give her exactly what she wants, a huge cock.  Fuck her like your dick is the biggest thing on earth, attitude is everything.

Swing Lifestyle

Swingers

Before we started checking out social networks, much of what I knew about swinging was from movies and TV shows.  Basically,  we knew little to nothing about the swing lifestyle. I believed it was a couple who liked to have sex outside of their relationship and that was that; I decided not to delve into the different levels, details, and ranges of the swinging lifestyle.  But as our minds have opened, we realized there is more to it than sex, greed, or the desire to experience others.  To think otherwise would be ignorant.

As new bloggers, we were embraced and welcomed by swingers and other couples who were not categorized with the conventional “monogamous man and wife.”  While Ryan and I do not intend to ever experiment with swinging, we became curious about the thought process and mindset of swinging and swingers.  We asked several couples on we met through our Blog and Twitter  to discuss swinging, and we were fortunate enough to be allowed into their lives.  Below are their unedited responses…

Gunnar & Krystalla

1) How long have you been together/married?

Gunnar – It will be 14 years in the fall of this year.  See I do remember dates 😉  As to being in the lifestyle it was the fall of 2011.
Krystalla – Yes, it will be 14 years married come September, but 18 years together about end of May 😉

2) When you entered the relationship, were you swingers? One or both of you?

G – I have had no thoughts about swinging other than what a wild fantasy it would be.  Then again it was most guys fantasies to have two girls at once.  As to wanting it to happen, maybe, but then again I had a very shy wife when we met.  First in everything.  She didn’t open up and become herself until just under a couple of years ago.
K – Neither of us had ever been in an ethical non-monogamous relationship prior and honestly I had no desire to back when we first got together.

3) Who approached who about introducing others into the relationship?  How did the other respond?

G – Krystalla was the one that came forward about it.  I have always mentioned that if she wanted to explore other cock that we can talk about it.  As to my response, it was more shock that she would ask this.  Took me a few days to come to grips with it.  After writing an erotic story on how I felt and getting a former porn star to help me understand a girls point of view, I agree with how Krystalla approached it.
K – Yep, it was me who brought it up.  I’m still not sure how I gathered the balls to do it, but I did.  His first reaction was a very stunned “Okay”.  We talked a LOT for the next few days, weeks, months.  We started out playing separately, basically dating separately.  It was a few months later that we decided to sign up on a swingers website and see where that took us.

4) Do you guys prefer being with other couples, only males, and/or only females?

G – We are the type that will go with the flow as long as it is comfortable and make sense.  Neither of us are bi, although Krystalla has kissed a girl if the situation is right.  We have done same room, separate room, and group play.
K – I can’t say I like one scenario over the other.  They each have a different dynamic and I like aspects of each alone play, same room or group play.  When playing alone, I can concentrate on my partner. If in a same room scenario, I’ve learned I like to watch (especially love watching Gunnar get and give pleasure) and if we’re all playing together…damn, that can be hot.

5) Was there (or is there currently) any feelings of jealousy?

G – Jealousy has never gone away over this whole roller coaster of a ride.  What you have to do is to understand why you are jealous.  Most times it is normal feelings that are causing the jealously.  What cannot happen is not to voice your concerns with your partner.  They must know how you feel so that it can be dealt with.  Letting it boil and simmer can cause more complications and drama.
K – Jealousy is definitely something that still happens, but as Gunnar said, you have to figure out why you’re jealous and work through it, talk about it.  Typically if I’m jealous of Gunnar, it’s not because of someone he’s talking to or crushing on, but would more result if I didn’t have anyone I felt similarly about at that moment.  Honestly, I have also felt jealousy in an outside relationship, if I’ve seen or heard about the guy and/or husband I/we’re with, flirting or getting action elsewhere.  Again, as Gunnar said you need to voice concerns with your primary partner and/or other partners because letting anything boil and fester can be detrimental to any and all relationships.

6) What are your sexual and emotional boundaries?

G – For myself I am still working through the emotional boundaries.  This has always been something that I mentally work through. As to any sexual boundaries, I think the only thing that has been the hardest for me is to keep positive and not over think the situation.
K – I’m still learning about my sexual and emotional boundaries.  Each person or couple we’ve met or been with has taught me something about myself.  I’ve grown a lot in the past year and a half and am enjoying continuing and building on that.

7) Are you worried about physical or emotional attachments?

G – This lifestyle will cause a lot of discussions and if you are not careful, strain on your own relationship.  You have to understand who you are, and who you are with for it to work.  Trust is so important along with communication, and if either of these two fail then the whole experience will fail along with it.  With that said physical attachments have happened for myself, but it is physical nothing else.  Emotional I think I connect with everyone on some level but Krystalla is my first and will always be first before anyone else.
K – Honestly, no I’m not worried. There are typically two “types” of swingers; those who prefer NSA encounters (No Strings Attached) which are more casual and are generally over when the sex is over, and those that prefer FWB (Friends With Benefits).  I say typically but know these can overlap in people.  We’re a FWB couple.  Our ultimate is finding a couple we connect with both on a friendship basis, where we’d hang out with each other, get to know their families and their lives, along with connecting with them sexually and having some really hot steamy sex.  For me, the more I get to know someone and care about them, the more comfortable I am around them, trust them and am more apt to be open to new experiences.  To add to that, I would have no problem if Gunnar or I ever fell in love with another individual(s) because I know he’s there for me first as I for him.  Always.  His being there and supporting me is very comforting and allows me to feel safe enough to explore and enjoy these experiences.

8) Were you ever or are you now worried about your anonymity with your family, friends, co-workers?

G – We have kept our lifestyle secret to majority of our friends.  Most of them wouldn’t understand, or worse would probably stop being our friends.  One of my close friends from High School was told and he suspected that we were doing this for years.  Not sure if I should be flattered or insulted.  We discussed that his wife shouldn’t know.  A week or so later we found out he told her and she seemed to have disown us.  None of my family know.  Of my friends who know, 3 of the 5 are co-workers.  Why?  Well, I live eight hours a day at work so if I’m texting and chatting to girls it’s hard to keep that hidden from close friends.
K – We were definitely worried when we first opened up and delved into this lifestyle.  Now though, I’m not as worried.  I’m almost to the point that if a friend or family member would not accept us for who we are, then they don’t deserve to be important to us.  My closest friends know (save one, and she would not understand for religious reasons, but that’s a topic I am not getting into) and accept our decision.  The friend Gunnar was talking about (who figured we had been for years), he brought it up because he noticed the change in me personally, that I was more open and confident.  That hasn’t been just because of opening up, but more because of a personal weight loss/getting healthy journey I’ve been on for almost the same amount of time.  But I can’t deny, attention from outside sources does boost ones ego! LOL!  I truly believe that our parents would have no real issues as long as we’re both happy.  Nowadays, if someone came up and asked me, I’d tell them, but I wouldn’t volunteer the information.

9) For those who know about your lifestyle, how have they reacted?

G – Majority of them don’t care.  They know when we have our ‘play time’ but beyond that it hasn’t changed much.  As to my High school friend he has changed a bit.  Seems to be more open about his choice of porn which we had never discussed.  I really think the reaction is based on the person, personality and how open minded they are.  If they are not open minded then the reaction will most likely be negative.
K – Generally, reactions have been that as long as Gunnar & I are happy, they’re fine with it.

10) Have you received negative reactions about swinging?

G – With who we’ve talked to about it, not really.  Like Krystalla mentioned as long as we are happy they are good with it.  The one friend who reacted never talked to us, so I think it is a judgment thing.  I really look forward to see her later this year and seeing the reaction in person.
K – I’ve seen no negative reactions, except the one wife who unfrended us on Facebook.  Honestly that didn’t bother me too much as they don’t live close to us and she wasn’t that good of a friend anyway.

11) How do you decide who you let into your bedroom? How did you approach those people regarding STDs, diseases, etc. (if that subject even comes up)? Conversely, how do you decide a person is not right for you as a couple?

G – Coincidentally, any time I have found a couple for us to meet, it has not worked out.  This has been the result of there being no connection between the husband and my wife.  Conversely the couples that my wife have found have generally worked out so far.  Basically over the year and half that we have done this we have learned lots about ourselves and how to approach couples (new or experienced).  Noobs have been our biggest eye opener since not everyone has fully disclosed to their spouse what they are looking for.  Since we have had a majority of exposure to noobs STD and diseases have not really come up since they haven’t been with anyone but their partner.  Protection is used with couples but with some there has not been, although it is mutual on if it is to be used or not.
K – We’ve had a couple of encounters where we played more because of the curiosity factor than anything else, but generally we feel that we both need some sort of connection with who we let into our private lives.  We’ve honestly never had an in depth STD talk with anyone (I know, bad us), but most of the couples we’ve met have been new to the lifestyle (newbies/noobs) and haven’t been with anyone except their spouse in many years.  The few couples that we’ve been with who have been experienced swingers, we’ve used protection with.  We have fluid bonded with one couple (not used barrier protection) but that was mutually agreed upon.

12) Do you think there will come a time when you will become monogamous as a couple?

G – At this point in time I would say it could be possible but right now I am enjoying the people that we have meet.  The one thing that I will say if that you are serious about the lifestyle you need to interact.  Poking and prodding to try to get attention will not get you out there.  Surprising enough we have meet more like minded people on the social networks than on the actual sites themselves.
K – At some point way down the road, I could see it.  I hope that doesn’t come for a very long time though as I’m enjoying our life as it is now.  I love how much closer Gunnar and I have become.  I love how the two of us have evolved as people, being much more open with each other and others.  I love meeting and connecting with new people, experiencing things I never thought I would.

13) What is the one thing that you can suggest, advise or piece of knowledge you would like to share about the lifestyle.

G – Communication is key to the lifestyle.  If you and your partner do not communicate then you will have complications and drama.  Since we have opened up, our communication has been more open and we realized how much we didn’t talk before we did this.
K – And not just communication with each other. You also need open communication with the couple you’re interested in.  If feelings are going to get hurt, it generally happens because someone isn’t honest with themselves, or did not share information with everyone involved.  If you ever find yourself in a situation you’re not comfortable with, speak up!  Experienced swingers will not take offence to this. Also I’d say for newbies, don’t jump in head first.  Go slow.  Yes, your hormones will be amped up crazy, but you can do damage to your relationship and yourself (let alone the relationship of the other couple) if you jump in and don’t speak up or don’t know what you truly want.

Numbnutt69 & LexxiBlue 

1) How long have you been together/married?

We have been together for 23 years and married for 17 of those.

2) When you entered the relationship, were you swingers? One or both of you?

When we met and entered into this relationship, neither of us really knew what swinging was.  We met while in high school.  We were still “innocent”.

3) Who approached who about introducing others into the relationship? How did the other respond?

@numbnutt69 broached the subject of opening our relationship with me.  He had found a local swingers club and proposed that we attend an evening. I wasn’t completely closed off about it but not quite comfortable with the idea either.  I wasn’t sure what this would mean.  While @numbnutt69 had the honor of my virginity, it also meant that several years into our relationship, I hadn’t experienced anyone else.  But I was confused by the word “cheating”.  It was not that I was concerned that this meant he would be “cheating” on me but that I would be “cheating” on him.  @numbnutt69 had to convince me that he did not consider it such.  The other thing that I expressed to @numbnutt69 was that while I was not closed off to the idea, I felt that this was the sort of thing we should try when we are older.   Anyhow, I finally gave in to go to the club and was very nervous.  Once that evening was over, it took quite some time for me to agree to go back.

4) Do you guys prefer being with other couples, only males, and/or only females?

@Numbnutt69 does not have any preference so I set the pace since I have always been more reserved.  That being said, the preference is to play with other couples.  Until recently, this was a hard rule.  However, we have met a great couple that has increased my comfort level and we are prepared to play with each member of that couple independently.  However, it is still within a couple dynamic, which still remains within my preference.That being said, we have experienced multiple variations to swinging in a swingers club setting but our preference is still to find a couple of couples that can be defined as good friends with benefit.

5) Was there (or is there currently) any feelings of jealousy?Let’s define jealousy here.

To us, jealousy means to envy the object of attention of the other partner.  So in that sense of the word, no there is no jealousy.  That being said however, there’s a sense of envy when one decides they want to try something new or something that both enjoy and the other does not get to do the same.  It is a jealousy of the situation that both of us want to experience but for whatever reason cannot both have.

6) What are your sexual and emotional boundaries?I have yet to discover my hard sexual boundaries?

This scares me in a sense, because I simply don’t know when I will reach that boundary and will I be able to express it.  As for @numbnutt69, gay relations are the boundary he will not cross under any circumstance.  I think this covers the sexual boundaries.  As for the emotional boundaries, we haven’t really thought about or discussed this.

7) Are you worried about physical or emotional attachments?

We have been together for so long and have developed very good communication tools between us.  We have no doubts about our devotion and our loyalties for each other.  That being said, as mentioned in an earlier question, we have recently met a very nice couple.  It would appear that we are developing some very strong physical and emotional attachments to each other and the feeling appears to be mutual amongst the four of us.  @Numbnutt69 and myself have been trying for the last 16 years or so to find some very good friends with benefits; a couple with whom we could be ourselves completely.  It would seem that we have found this and thank them tremendously for letting us into their lives.

8) Were you ever or are you now worried about your anonymity with your family, friends, co-workers?

This was a concern for many years.  We worried about what our parents would think mostly.  That being said, I think the main reason we were concerned by this was that I hadn’t fully accepted the choices we were making as it related to our lifestyle.  Recently, through new experiences, I have come to realize that these are choices that we have made as a couple and we are thoroughly happy.  Therefore, why should I try so hard to keep it from them.  Therefore, while we do not advertise our lifestyle, we do not broadcast it either.  I think it helps that we have a couple of good friends that do know about our lifestyle, not to mention our kids, and the response was not negative.  In fact, none of them were surprised by the information.  We have their support and this helps.

9)For those who know about your lifestyle, how have they reacted?

Our children, who are now adults, were not surprised by the information.  In fact, they said it explained some things for them.  As mentioned in the previous question, we have a couple of friends who know about our lifestyle.  They have both reacted positively and have had questions.  In fact, they enjoy looking over our shoulders at some of our twitter feeds.  As of yet, we have not yet met with any negative reactions but we do expect that it may happen one day.

10) Have you received negative reactions about swinging?

As mentioned in previous question, not yet.

11) How do you decide who you let into your bedroom?How did you approach those people regarding STDs, diseases, etc. (if that subject even comes up)?  Conversely, how do you decide a person is not right for you as a couple?

A lot of it is based on instincts and first impressions.  We don’t really have any preference because we look for how easy it is to talk to the other couple.  That being said, for years we were club swinger and experimented with different couples.  As for the question about STD diseases, we always used protection, asked the other couple about their health, and my limit was soft swap.  Again, this has changed with the meeting of this new couple we have recently met.  Soft swap is not a limit with them.  As for how we decide a person is not right for us, again, it is based on instincts and first impressions.

12) Do you think there will come a time when you will become monogamous as a couple?

Not in the foreseeable future.  We have great friends with benefits right now.  Our marriage has been open almost as long as we have been married.  We have had long periods of time where we were monogamous, but it was more related to external circumstances as opposed to a conscious desire to close off to the lifestyle.

Mysticnites

1) How long have you been together/married?

We will be married 22 years this December.

2) When you entered the relationship, were you swingers? One or both of you?

No we weren’t.

3) Who approached who about introducing others into the relationship? How did the other respond?

Actually it was Jerry Springer that started us out. Watching a show a girl wanted to bring another female into a relationship and the guy freaked out. I said the guy was crazy and so did my wife. I kinda did a double take and said Really? This is when J came out and said she was Bi and had been since high school but repressed the feelings because she thought they were wrong. And so it started 12 years ago.

4) Do you guys prefer being with other couples, only males, and/or only females?

We started out with just couples with Bi females but have since moved on to singles as well. Finding a single bi female is very rare. We have been with a few single males as they are much easier to find

5) Was there (or is there currently) any feelings of jealousy?

I think we have both had our moments of jealousy. but they go away quickly and we always make sure we talk about what we are feeling. We also don’t “take one for the team” if we both are not attracted to the couple we don’t pursue it.

6) What are your sexual and emotional boundaries?

We first started out with no kissing but that seemed silly we feel it is a major point of foreplay. Anal is another that was meant just for us but she has experienced that from others.

7) Are you worried about physical or emotional attachments?

We have had couples that got clingy and possessive and we ended those relationships quickly. We do not do this to find new husbands or wives. We got into this to enjoy the sexual enhancements of swinging. We are not saying we don’t like to make friends with other couples, we just don’t want to become exclusive with them.

8) Were you ever or are you now worried about your anonymity with your family, friends, co-workers?

When we first started we hid things but now not so much. Most of our families know, as we also ran a swingers club for over a year and a half. We saw a lot of people at our club that you would not expect, doctors, lawyers, politicians, but you have to realize they are there for the same reason you are.

9) For those who know about your lifestyle, how have they reacted?

For the most part curiously. Some have said I cant believe you can do that with your spouse. Others have said that is cool that you have that much trust in each other.

10) Have you received negative reactions about swinging?

Again not really negative just shock that we can do this.

11) How do you decide who you let into your bedroom? How did you approach those people regarding STDs, diseases, etc. (if that subject even comes up)? Conversely, how do you decide a person is not right for you as a couple?

We always talk about everything and we also try to meet the couple or person before hand to see if we connect. If we do connect then we set up another get together and see how things go from there. Like I said neither one of us will take one for the team if we both aren’t comfortable then we wont go any further. We will always use condoms when the situation calls for it.

12) Do you think there will come a time when you will become monogamous as a couple?

We have no problem with becoming monogamous as a couple again, We don’t need to be “swingers” we just enjoy the enhancement of it! We are far from bed hopping people. If we were to go to a club, and if the worst thing that happens at the end of the night is that I get to go home and fuck my wife, I think I am doing pretty damn good!! Swinging is a hobby, not a profession!

We appreciate all couples for spending some of their time answering a few of our questions.   If you are a reader and have something you’d like to share through our blog, please contact us.

Be That Woman – A Wonder Woman

Be that Wonder Woman.

Be that Wonder Woman.

You’ve heard the saying, “If you can’t beat ’em, join ’em.”  I, myself, am a true believer in this motto, especially with the endless pics of gorgeous women I know I can never compete with, even in my younger, more fit days.  I learned very quickly that in order to compete, I have to up my stock and give myself a fighting chance.

Before starting our blog, Ryan and I discussed the pros and cons of starting a website like ours.  We heard about people getting caught and losing their jobs over their personal lives via R- and X-rated blogs.  Of course this doesn’t make any sense to rational people because 1) who’s to say what is acceptable normal life behavior, and 2) If there were a desirable set of standards, how many of us comply or even qualify?  Very few. Very, VERY few.  Even Amish folks build electric fireplaces (https://www.heatsurge.com/).  The word “fetish” exists because of the standards of normalcy we’ve imposed on ourselves.  But that’s besides the point.  Our goal for the blog was to share and give ourselves additional motivation to maintain an active and exciting and loving sex-infused marriage.

For me, what makes a good male lover is his willingness to do whatever it takes to please his woman.  I’ve had Ryan fuck me all night, until his stomach hurt, thinking it was something I wanted.  Although it was a first for me, we were both young and he assumed the longer he made love to me, the better he was in bed.  The truth is, longevity is overrated.  I love Ryan, but taking his penis in my body all night, literally all night, got very uncomfortable.  At the time I didn’t show it because I didn’t know better.  He later told me that it was just as uncomfortable for him.  The cramping, his penis going numb, the drying (which back then we didn’t know how to stay properly lubed), and his soreness the next day.  He openly said, physically it was the least enjoyable experience sexually, but he did enjoy our time together.  I agree.  He thought that longevity alone is what women wanted and he was trying to please me.  He had the characteristics and good intentions of a good lover, but unfortunately good sex isn’t based off of high school myths and poor communication.   To this day, almost all of my earth shattering orgasms and best sexual experiences have easily been an hour or under.  That is plenty of time for a man to please me.  As much as I love feeling Ryan inside of me, I love to be able to feel my vagina lips an hour later, and I definitely would love to not feel like my bladder has shifted a few inches inside my body.  If Ryan didn’t feel the same way, I would embrace the idea of longer experiences, but for us, it’s unneeded.

Another example of a good male lover is his open mind.  Good lovers go out of their way to please their partners.  If lovers are watching a porn together and he asks her, “Do you want me to lick your ass like that?” and she responds with, “It looks like it would feel amazing.”  Whether or not two minutes earlier he felt licking the ass was disgusting or gross, a good lover will adapt.  Don’t judge her desires, fulfill them.   A good lover will go out of his way to do things sexually that please you: rim jobs, circle your hole, tongue fuck your ass, lick as deep as he can inside, and do it until you are satisfied.  Similarly, if she wants him to motion his hips a certain way or eat her out until she cums BEFORE they make love, then a man will adjust and learn what pleases his woman.  Even if he looks like a complete idiot, a good man will try his hardest to do it all.  I know, through communication, Ryan will do anything I ask of him sexually.  Whether it emasculates or embarrasses him, if he knows it’s something that turns me on, he will try it.  Not only try it, he will embrace it mentally with an open mind and make sure the entire experience is enjoyable for both of us, regardless of how he felt prior to finding out what I wanted him to do.  Attitude and enthusiasm are everything.

As a woman, a good lover is slightly different.   We have our own tricks.  For example, moaning.  Not the kind of moan you let out because something feels good (back rub) or tastes good (cheesecake) – those are the kinds of moans that appeal to your physical senses.  A sensual moan is one that lets your partner know that you enjoy what you’re doing – not because a dick feels good in your mouth or in your hands as you jack him off.   Unlike the moan of feeling him slide inside your body, where there is an obvious moan of pleasure because it physically feels great.  But a mental moan.  A moan to let your partner know you are enjoying what you are doing.  It’s the ultimate way to show enthusiasm, which helps your partner relax.  I’ve been told by Ryan that if he feels I am uncomfortable or bored, he will ask me to stop giving him oral sex or a hand job, and just fuck me.  Not that I don’t want to be fucked, but I do want my man to know that I enjoy him totally.  If he stops, I want him to stop because he wants to fuck me, not because he feels bad because I am bored.  I have to remind myself that this guy trusts me enough to get nude in front of me, totally exposing himself, and lays back for me to do whatever I want with his tool.  I love it, and I need to remind myself to appreciate the moment.  If he wasn’t around, I’d kill to have one more moment like it.   Appreciating the moment keeps me focused on my goal, Wonder Woman.

Before, moaning was actually hard for me.  I would moan during sex, but not during a blow job or while I rub his balls.  Why the hell would I moan then?  Perhaps it was my ego, perhaps I didn’t know better.   I knew Ryan loved to hear me talk or moan, but for whatever reason, I felt I was submitting enough, and moaning seemed to feel “fake.”  I don’t know if I felt like I kept my dignity by staying quiet, but I do know Ryan wanted more.  He has communicated with me later that when a woman that moans and talks during sex, is the type of woman he wanted me to be.  Rather than get mad or hurt, I told myself I will be that woman.

A woman submitting to her man’s needs is a woman men want.   His Wonder Woman.  Notice the comments women get when they hold a penis in their hand like it’s a gold ring and they’re Sméagol.   Ok, bad example.  If a woman looks like Sméagol, a penis in her hand is probably equivalent to a gold ring.   Anyway my point is, a woman who is truly enthusiastic and loves her man’s most intimate body parts, becomes the women men want.  Rather than fight this fantasy, submit to it.  Does it hurt our ego to worship our men’s penis like they worship our bodies?   Do I lose integrity?  I used to think so.  I also was bitter and annoyed at women who did moan and show enthusiasm.  I was a prude.  I called them phony and fake, paid whores.  But the truth is, if money makes a woman a better woman, why doesn’t love?   Is money more important than my love or Ryan’s happiness?  Absolutely not.

I was on to something here.

It seems as if men overdo their sexual tendencies believing it’s what makes their woman happy, while women seem to not do enough because they feel their man should be happy by simply getting sex in the first place.  A good lover, by nature, doesn’t hate what others do to be better in bed, instead they embrace it.   I want to be a good lover, too.

Let’s talk more about enthusiasm, the absolute key to a woman not just becoming a good lover, but probably the best lover her partner has ever experienced.  Going hand-in-hand with moaning is showing enthusiasm in bed.  A guy watches porn to hear the girls talk dirty, to see these women totally enthused and worshiping their male counterpart  – basically, wanting to experience this attitude that almost seems unreal.  If he watches a porn and says, “I want you to do that to me,” don’t misinterpret it as, “I want see her do that to me.”  He is openly telling you he wants you to try something.  Something similar happened to me recently.  Ryan asked if I could watch a video of two girls giving a sloppy, spitty blowjob to a guy.  To lessen the blow on my ego, he made sure I understood this was something I had already done to him in the past.  However, I was still offended because Ryan tells me repeatedly that I am perfect in bed for him.  If that was true, why do I need to watch it?  Was I lacking in the blowjob area?  Did I need to step my game up?  My first reaction was to be defensive.  I got pissed off.  But I soon realized that part of the enthusiasm is be willing to explore other areas of sex, within your boundaries of course, i.e. willingness and excitement toward the inclusion of unexplored acts of intimacy.  What made me perfect (to Ryan) was the fact I kept an open mind.  I have to keep an open mind and accept new ideas.  That’s what made me perfect to begin with.  It’s easy to forget when your brain snaps into defense mode, but the truth was, I had done something like it in the past, and he just wanted my opinion on whether I thought the video was exotic.  It actually was, so unlike me previously giving him a messy blowjob because I thought it was cool to be messy, I instead gave him a messy blowjob because I understood what made it exotic.  I got why it turned him on.  This made it easier for me to enjoy what I was doing.

Being “that” woman also works to the woman’s advantage.  The more you become the perfect woman for your man, the more he will love you for the constant adapting you do for him.  Unless your man is a selfish or  chronic cheater who doesn’t appreciate the strides his woman takes, he should realize that you are adapting to HIS tastes, HIS desires, HIS idea of a perfect woman.  You also become less susceptible to comments such as, “Damn, that woman has a fine ass.”  Why? Because you’ve armed yourself and earned the right to say, “Yes, she does.  But I bet she won’t let her man up in it every night.”

Becoming “that” woman – the one who you once envied for aesthetic reasons, the one you were jealous over, the one you thought you couldn’t compete against – allows you to be more comfortable in your own skin, to be more confident that you can not only keep your man, but keep him from wanting more.   A confident woman is a beautiful woman.  Because if you give him what he wants, why would he need more?

Face Fucking Until I Vomit

facefuck

Ryan’, balls deep in my throat.

FACE FUCKING:  Aggressive deepthroat fellatio (see previous article:  Face Fucking)

IRRUMATION:  The act of thrusting of the penis between the legs, breasts, feet, upper thighs (also known as interfemoral sex), mouth and throat, or between the abdomens of two partners. In the ancient Roman sexual vocabulary, irrumatio is strictly a form of os impurum, oral sex, in which a man forces his penis into someone else’s mouth, almost always that of another man.

These are both good definitions, but I will lean toward the second definition as I believe face fucking connotes a very forceful and passionate sexual act.

I’ve seen many amateur face fucking videos of all types: some where a girl is on her knees and takes no more than two inches in her mouth, another where she’s sitting on a couch and the guy is standing over her, and some where she’s got her head off the edge of the bed or couch.  When the guy holds her head and tries to fuck her face, she fights a little as she cannot take it all in.  It seems like they both enjoy the back and forth struggle.  However, at times the girls will jerk their heads back and give a quick look of “Damn, you asshole!  Don’t do it so rough!”   I know it’s just for show and as soon as the camera turns off, she cringes and complains.  I used to be really judgmental, saying things like, “But she’s not even taking him at least halfway down!”  It seemed that I forgot that I was physically able to only do what those girls did, if not much less. I remember when I could only suck to the bottom of Ryan’s circumcision scar — gagging immediately if I tried to take more.  

I did like the idea of the act – the violence, the aggression, the brute force of a man’s hips slamming his dick into my face and down my throat.  When I first started learning to face fuck, I was uncertain of who I was or what I was allowed to enjoy without being judged by Ryan, so I remember being hesitant in embracing it.  I also remember my first time trying.  I read that this face fucking technique, hanging your head off the bed, made it easier to learn deep throat.  It gave the penis a smoother path down your throat.   I remember Ryan fucking my face, and for the first time in my life, I felt in danger.  It wasn’t Ryan’s intentions, but as he pumped his hips in and out and got harder with each thrust, I no longer had any control.  If I closed my throat like I used to, his erection and sleek penis head would pry open my throat and tongue like a fleshy crowbar, and force its way inside.   The penis was built for this.  It scared me.  I remember feeling him cum with his balls smashed against my face, watching his ass hole pucker up with each cum shot, and feeling his hard dick jerk inside my throat.  Whether I wanted to swallow or not, was no longer an option.  I took his cum forever.

It’s not that I would get mad at Ryan for being the aggressor, because I like that.  It was the fact I lost all control.  As a young woman, I had to feel like I had some sort of control.  Even if it was my enthusiasm, I wanted to make sure Ryan knew I was in control.  With face fucking, there is no control or emotion.  Your face gets used and fucked with very little emotional connection.  As soon as I understood how my body and his body worked (my mind was accepting of face fucking as something I wanted to learn), I could not be stopped.  The more I realized I would drip and even squirt from being face fucked, I knew it was something I secretly desired.  It’s now my favorite position.  In bed, I love this absolutely powerless position.

So as I watched more and more face fucking videos (although normally I didn’t just watch porn when I learned to deep throat, I practically studied clips), I came upon one where a girl had her head hanging off the edge of the bed.  I thought it was going to be a humdrum face fuck, when suddenly her gag reflex kicked in and she threw up all over herself.  And being upside down, it was all over her face, nose, eyes…everywhere!  Chunks of food spewing and coating her face, as if someone threw a melted ice cream sundae with peanuts at her!  I don’t have a vomit fetish and seeing it didn’t give me a new goal, but it was her persistence and lack of fear and shame that I came to appreciate.  I don’t even remember if he came or not, but I know it is probably one of the impressive things I’ve seen anyone do.

Then I wondered how I would react if that ever happened to me.  Through deep throating I’ve learned two things: that I can handle Ryan’s cock and that I can control my gag reflex.

This weekend was different.  Ryan told me that he wanted to face fuck me, but pull out and cum all over my face.  We had fucked multiple times the few days prior but he purposely would stop before he came.  Now I knew why, he wanted to explode all over my face.  Of course I was down for it (see previous article:  31 Days of Cum Shots project).  This could be fun!   Me and Ryan took a few shots of rum to kick off our Friday barbecuing.  This is what we usually do, so my drinking was not threatened by the fact I would be face fucking moments later.  That day, however, was different.  Maybe it was my allergies and and the cold I was fighting because both were terrible that day.  After my fourth shot, I felt a slight burning in my throat, as if the alcohol was stuck in my esophagus.   I washed it down with some Coke and thought nothing more of it. 

As we waited for the steaks to marinate, we slipped into the bedroom and I jumped onto the bed.  I stripped down to nothing and lay on the bed as I waited for Ryan to mount my face. I looked up and over my shoulder as Ryan pulled his dick out and began stroking in front of me.  I wanted to taste him so bad.   I felt the bed shift as he made his way to me.  I eagerly pulled him toward my face and took his large soft dick into my mouth.  His hanging balls rubbed against my nose and face.  He pumped his hips as his cock began to thicken.  It grew slowly, bending slightly in my throat with each motion.  I love the feeling of his growing penis as it morphs from limp to thick to fat to fully erect.  When he’s thick, he forces his body to push his dick down my throat, slightly folding as it enters my tight throat.  The harder he gets, the easier it is to do straight down.  Friday, though, was different.  Ryan was talking dirty and began fucking my throat as hard as he could.  Slamming his cock into the back of my mouth at times, forcing his dick to find any hole to squeeze into.  I gagged a few times, but it wasn’t a big deal because nothing ever comes up.  I never ask him to stop.  In fact, I get upset when he stops and wants to fuck my pussy instead.  That day, he thrust his dick in my mouth, rubbing his sweaty balls and ass on my face each time he pulls out to let me breath.  I love it.

I can feel Ryan is about to explode because his movements got more intense.   He sits up and I put his ball sack in my mouth.  I feel him thumping my chin and chest with his dick telling me he is about to cum all over me.  As he lifts his body up and un-suctions his sack from my lips, he immediately replaces it with his long dick.   I feel his dick bury itself deep in my throat, as deep as it can go.  Within seconds, a gag feeling erupted, one that wasn’t any different from the others.  I ignored it and allowed myself to dry heave normally.  But as soon as Ryan lifted up, I felt a wetness bubbling up from my throat.  Not once did I feel like the contents of my stomach were going to expel unexpectedly because it happened so fast, and before I knew it, I actually threw up!  It wasn’t projectile vomiting but very subtle like a tabletop water fountain.   It wasn’t until I felt a mouth full of stomach acids and liquor actually in my mouth did I realize that there was stuff coming up.  For a split second I thought to myself, “Should I swallow this?”  Instead, I pushed out all the  viscous liquid out with my tongue and let it spill over the corners of my mouth and down my face.  The acids, working immediately, burned into my cheeks, some in my ear, as well as my hair.  As Ryan watched my face covered with vomit, he stroked his dick and shot cum all over me.   He later told me that as he pulled out to cum, he saw me throw up all over myself, then shot all over my wet face.  Obviously holding out for a few days was a complete waste, as I don’t care if he didn’t cum for a year, he wasn’t going to facial me worse than I had just facialed myself.

During any other time in my life I believe I would have been upset – by the mess, by the “disrespect” shown to my body, and maybe even by the embarrassment.  But the idea of being face fucked so hard that I threw up had become a badge of honor, one that meant I persevered and endured humiliation at all costs.  Immediately, Ryan asked if I was okay, hoping I wasn’t upset.  At first I didn’t answer, still shocked about what had happened.   After I washed off and got myself together, I opened the shower door and asked Ryan, “Did that turn you on?”   He nodded that it did, and I knew inside I really liked it as well.   Something the old me would not have enjoyed at all.

As I came out of the bathroom and looked at the bed, needless to say, the bed had two big wet spots (one on each side of my head), which I asked Ryan to cleaned up.