Lately I’ve been thinking more and more about women. I always found a woman’s body attractive, but I was afraid of being called a lesbian. Not that it was bad because my parents never showed favoritism or dislike to any race, religion, or lifestyle. However, people have expressed same sex experiences as something that was sinful. But as MTV’s Real World, Girls Gone Wild, and the endorsement and praise of celebrities, politicians, and other public figures have become more mainstream, it’s become more acceptable to enjoy it and be aroused by it.
So now, I’ve been talking the talk through this blog, on Twitter, xhamster, and other sites of which Ryan and I are members. My eyes have been opened by the flood of people who were like the old me (quiet, afraid of being judged by others for saying a woman has a sexy body), the me now (open to suggestions, receptive to male and female flirtation), and the me who I want to be (willing to bring a female into our bedroom, vocal about my attraction to women). And I can relate to all of them. I still remember the hesitation of looking at a woman’s breasts and wondering if her nipples look like mine. I can now empathize with the women out there who have yet to experience another female – a kiss, a more-than-friendly touch on my hand. And I envy the women out there who already have.
As I said, I’ve been thinking more and more about women. But truthfully, it has never really stopped. My thoughts have been becoming more intense knowing that Ryan would not only allow, but also enjoy me being with another woman. With his acceptance, he has alleviated a lot of reservations I’ve had and has encouraged me to explore my curiosities.
I’ve noticed that a lot of girl-on-girl fantasies are written by men, so let me show you mine.
My ideal woman would be someone who I know as a person and in turn, knows me as a person. She is open, but not whorish; playful, but not a rough-houser; loving, but not needy. I want someone to accept me AND Ryan – as a married couple, as individuals, and as people. We both have to like her and she has to like us both (because we come as a team). These are all important factors to me because I want to be able to have complete control as to who I let into my life, marriage, and pussy. I want Ryan to be able to talk to her and feel comfortable around her, otherwise I would be excluding him as an active participant. I want the other woman to respect and understand our boundaries. I want her to respect us the next morning. I want her to remember our likes and dislikes. I want her to be attentive to my needs and allow me to explore. In a way, my search of my first woman experience will be an interview of sorts, one that you either pass or fail. That’s the beauty of doing a search – I afford myself the opportunity of an extensive search.
Assuming we find this woman, we’d spend an evening together (I’d prefer a casual restaurant on the beach or hanging out on the balcony also overlooking the beach) talking and have a drink or two. I don’t want to be wasted because I want to remember my first time. I’ve only known the rough face of a man, the grip of his hands, and the power of his body as he thrusts his cock in my pussy, mouth, or ass. This is what I love about a man – feeling overpowered, protected, knowing his brute strength is controlled as he drops down onto my body. Although I’m Asian, I’m not the stereotypical petite woman and it takes a real man to handle me. So having Ryan’s 6’5″, 220 pound frame on me is such a turn on. To be clear, I am absolutely not in a rush to make this happen. It may take a few months, it may take a year, it may never even come. If we never find the right woman, then so be it.
But for now I’m ready to feel a woman’s lips, feel her skin, and smell her skin – all the things Ryan loves about me. I know the places where I liked to be touched – behind my ear, down my jawline, between my breasts – and I would love to be able to make another woman experience it from me. I love my man’s hair; it’s what makes him a man, it’s what reminds me of masculinity. But there is something about a smooth, female body that is enticing. To me, it means she takes care of her body, she cares about her appearance, she wants others to enjoy her body, too. After my Project Bush Growth experiment, I shaved myself bald again. And though Ryan wanted me to keep it, he couldn’t keep his mouth off of me the night I shaved. He sucked and slurped and used his tongue as a wash cloth to clean me off! He moaned and told me non-stop to always keep myself shaved..he missed it! That was so unbelievably sexy to hear him say all that! I won’t lie – I found a renewed love for shaved pussies after that. I started to see them in a new light, like his new appreciation for clean-shaven area made ME want to know that feeling. Soon I started seeing pussies that I wanted! I’ve been open with my appreciation for them for a while now, especially with so many people on Twitter (as well as those who I considered friends) posting them. But it wasn’t until I saw @AlwaysBiNikki’s photo of her vag did it prompt me to actually begin writing about my desire to have my first female experience. I needed to let others know that along with my openness came the need to follow through. I started to fantasize about losing my girlginity and eating a vagina for the first time. How badly did I want to slide my hands down and feel the dampness on a woman’s panties. I want to suck on lips, taste the juices, slide my tongue inside the holes, circle slowly on the clit – all just how I like, because I know what turns me on, what gets me sensitive, and what gets me to cum. I want to slide my fingers in and slowly massage her walls as I feel her tighten and squeeze around me. I want to feel her quiver and grab my head to let me know she was enjoying me between her legs. I want to make her moan and feel her clench as she cums on my lips, my own pussy soaking from the excitement of having a woman in my mouth for the first time.