Review: Farrah Abraham in Backdoor Teen Mom Sex Tape

farrahabrahamFrom MTV’s Teen Mom to Backdoor Squirting Milf Porn Star.  You saw how she raised her child, now you can see how she makes them. Farrah Abraham released her sex tape via Vivid for sell and download, the same company that released Pamela Anderson and Tommy Lee (Pam and Tommy), Jimi Hendrix, Kim Kardashian, WWE Diva Chyna, and a number of other B / C / D level celebs that can only get your attention by fucking each other’s brains out on camera…

… the same way we do!

I’m not mad at you Farrah, sex is beautiful, and doing it the way you do it is even more beautiful.   Co-star / porn actor James Deen has openly said that recording this video was just another day in the office for him.  Any claims of this being a “private” sex tape is false, as it was purposely recorded in home video fashion to create more interest.    Farrah, no need to pretend it’s a home video, just tell everyone you take it in the ass and squirt all over the room, that’s all the buzz you need.

Farrah Abraham just went from the most annoying D level reality star / teen mom on earth, to now just a somewhat slightly annoying milf with A level porn skills.  Her new large breasts and open-attitude towards anal sex definitely puts her a lot higher in my book.  Although her oral skills need work,  her anal, ass to mouth, ass to pussy then back to ass then back to pussy then back to mouth,  and squirting techniques will make even the most uptight executive at Viacom proud.  Good find MTV!  Your casting director and talent scouts need raises for sure.

Vivid’s synopsis:

“From Iowa cheerleader to MTV Teen Mom star, midwest beauty Farrah Abraham breaks free with her most daring video ever, Farrah Superstar: Backdoor Teen Mom. Made originally as a personal ‘boudoir’ tape, Farrah decided to release the video to her fans due to overwhelming response once news of the tape became public for download. Shockingly explicit, she takes James Deen as you’d never imagine, in a backdoor scene you’ll never forget. With her tight young body and totally uninhibited sexuality, it’s no wonder why she wanted to capture this moment in time. And now you can too!” 

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Rants and Frustrations – Debit and Credit Card Drama

frustrationSo I walk into a local Mom & Pop store hoping to buy a few drinks for the work week. Unfortunately the drinks I usually buy were expired so instead of leaving empty handed I grab a few smaller drinks and head up to the counter.

As the cashier rings it up I pull out my debit card, which for the last 10 years I’ve never had a problem with. The cashier, who was eyeballing me check the dates on the drinks I put back, looks at me with a frown and says, “Sorry, we have a $5 dollar minimum limit on using debit cards.” As I step back to gather my thoughts I also notice a sign that says, “For our employees safety, no bills over 20 please.” Another sign says, “Sorry, no personal checks and no American Express.”

What the fuck.

Annoyed, I reply, “Okay, I guess I will take some gum and maybe a $.25 cent super sized lemon head? How much is that?”

The cashier responds with, “That’s $4.20, do you want something else?”

At this point I am ready to walk out of the store. I am not the type to get annoyed, frustrated easy, or write rants like this, but for whatever reason, this situation absolutely pisses me off. I respond with a blank face, “Can you just ring up $.80 cents worth of invisible product?”

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Review: Octomom Sex Tape – Home Alone (Nadya Suleman)

octomom-home-aloneOctomom Home Alone is a pornographic film featuring prominent American mother Nadya Suleman, also known as “Octomom,” masturbating. The DVD was released on 16 July 2012 by Wicked Pictures and drew media attention given Suleman’s celebrity and recognition from the AVN Awards.

In 2009, Suleman gave birth to the Suleman octuplets. News of the octuplets caused an international media sensation. Public response was largely negative, including death threats.

Although under severe financial pressure raising 14 children, Suleman had publicly stated she would not do pornography. She explained that stance, saying “I’ve been celibate for 14 years and I’m a regular church-goer.” She also claimed she had never masturbated. However, in 2012 Suleman filed for bankruptcy in federal court, claiming a $1 million debt. She thus reversed her earlier position, saying “If it’s a job, and it’s a well-paying job, and it’s going to allow me to get out of here and move in a very safe, huge home that they deserve, I’m going to do it.” She was paid a five-figure amount and monthly royalties.

Under director Brad Armstrong, Suleman filmed her scenes in a San Fernando Valley mansion. She was reportedly nervous upon her arrival, but calmed after speaking with other adult performers. The producers also showed Suleman pornographic films to prepare her and gave her advice on her performance. Suleman also credited her manager Gina Rodriguez for producing and marketing the video.

Suleman later said of the video, “It was such a positive experience for me and helped me embrace my sexuality.” She also described the scenes as “empowering and liberating.”

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The Mystique of Human Female Hair

avi-photoshoot-000From a very early age, I knew there was something very sensual about a woman’s head of hair, and I was fortunate enough to have hair that I could use as a tool.  It was naturally curly so I never had to perm it.  However, I did have tons of mousse, curling spray, gel (super hold and for that “just out of the shower” look), straightening plates, hair dryers, and even a hair curler.  I was a typical girl.  When I was nine-years-old, too young to make my own decisions about my hair, my mother took me to a beauty salon to have it cut shoulder length.  I hated it.  From then on, I vowed to never let her or anyone else touch my hair.

I remember “big hair” in grade school and how all the popular girls wore them.  Of course, wanting to fit in, I wore mine just as big, Aqua Netting it in an ocean wave of frozen hair atop my head.  All the girls did it.  In fact, if you DIDN’T, those girls were considered the out-of-place non-conformists.  My neighbor missed first period one year because she had to wash her hair and start the process all over again.  I walked alone to school that day.

But let me go back even further.  Disney’s “The Little Mermaid” made it a point to show us how fluid Ariel’s hair was in the water.  It symbolized femininity and beauty.  It flows around her head slow and gracefully.  Then as she becomes human for the first time and races to the surface of the water, she throws her head back, her hair following in a red arc trailing sea water.  It’s a little disheveled at first, but when she gets cleaned up, her hair is flawless and radiant.  Disney did a great job changing from the pinned up tresses of Snow White and Cinderella to drawing Ariel’s hair to reflect her ferocity and disobedient nature.  The female characters after that have since then had long, flowing hair (Belle, Mulan, and of course, Rapunzel.  Well, can’t really count her.)

So after the big hair phase came and went, my hair problems and the upkeep diminished significantly.  It was still long, almost to my waist.  I had it chemically straightened and kept it down most of the time.  I played with it subconsciously as I talked to people, watched TV, and stood in lines.  I was always putting it up in a bun, or a half bun, or a pony tail.  I had hairbands on my wrist at all times and chopsticks in my purse.  That’s the beauty of being a woman – we get to have hair to cut, straighten, curl, pin up, let down, dye, and to use as an extra flirtation device. 

Ryan has said so man times to me that he loves feeling my hair on my face when I’m riding him, kissing him from on top.  He loved smelling my hair conditioner right after a shower as well as the natural scent thoughout the day.   When he is on top of me, grinding his body into mine, after a long day and we are both exhausted, he buries his face deep in my neck, moaning with each thrust, releasing his stress inside me. He has said nothing makes him feel more at happy and at ease than smelling the sweat behind my neck and my hair.  When I suck his dick Continue reading

Q&A: Is Hiring a “Pro” / Escort For a Threesome a Bad Idea?

threesomeMark from Nevada

Hello Nessa and Ryan, I must say, you guys have an amazing blog.  I actually found your website using a google search term that you guys may feature in a future blog, “wife wants threesome.”  Hopefully that one isn’t as weird or funny as the ones I read on your other post.  Also, I actually found your threesome article extremely informative and am wondering how you guys plan on safely adding a third to your bedroom?  I am in the same boat I believe, except here in Nevada, there are some counties that have legal brothels.  We also have a lot of escorts but I am unsure of the legal issues regarding that.  However, my question to you both is, how would you feel about adding a professional for a threesome, rather than getting lucky and finding a single woman, or a couple with the other  husband willing to sit on the sidelines ?

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