Freaky Friday Weekly Search Terms – Guys Compare Cocks

freakyfriday

Each week we will post our most outrageous search terms that people used to find our website that week.  Ryan and I will then share our own thoughts and hopefully entertain you guys or at least make the search term make a little less sense.

Each search term was gathered by wordpress and/or google statistics and they are all very real search terms.   Each search term was used by some person in the world that ended up on our page.

10. want to fuck her pussy but due to small size decided to anal sex
Nessa:
How typical for a small-dicked guy that thinks he can’t “hurt” a woman’s pussy so he decides to fuck her ass hoping for a reaction.
Ryan: If I was her I’d whistle during anal sex just to see if next he moves to belly button sex or something.
Nessa:  Kinky!
Ryan:  Don’t even think about it.
Nessa:  New video, coming soon!

9. 15 second video of sex ass over cummed
Nessa:
This is like making a “7-Minute Abs” video because 8 minutes are just too damn much.
Ryan: I hate that I let this searcher down though.   I just don’t think 15 seconds is enough time for me to release the demons.
Nessa: Release the semens.

8. ian jett’s penis
Ryan:
I have to google this one myself.  Who the hell is Ian Jett?
Nessa:  Don’t bother, Ian Jett is the guy who posted a picture of his dick on a Subway sandwich.
Ryan: Who the hell would google for that penis?
Nessa:  Subway – eat fresh.

7. guys compare cocks
Ryan: First rule of the Guys’ Club, is we don’t talk about our guy clubs.
Nessa: Is this person asking or telling?  Because it’s  a known fact that all guys compare cocks.
Ryan: Okay, it’s stereotype Friday?  If women didn’t compare all their ex guy’s cocks with their current guys and develop their own mental top 100 list for the quarter we wouldn’t compare our cocks.
Nessa:  Ha!  Top 100 huh?  First rule  of the womens’ club, we don’t talk about our guys’ clubs — in front of them.
Ryan:  Touché

6. phone sucking pics
Nessa: I’m confused by this one.   Not sure if they mean they want to see a picture of a phone sucking on something, or someone sucking on a phone.  Semantics
Ryan: I’m buying the new  iPhone if they come out with this feature.

5. my wife said smallest dick
Ryan:  Well, she broke rule 1.
Nessa: Because she’s not a real woman.  Awful, just awful.

4. fuck my face and I will puke on your dick
Ryan:  Seriously, this one isn’t as bad as it seems.
Nessa: Seems like this person is giving her guy an offer he can’t refuse.
Ryan: Indeed.

3. is there anything inside a woman’s asshole
Ryan: The answer is yes, yes there is.
Nessa:  Maybe if he googles, “Well can you please describe what’s inside a woman’s asshole” and it becomes a future search term, you will elaborate?
Ryan:  Maybe.  For now, the answer is, yes, yes there are anythings inside a woman’s asshole.
Nessa: I can live with that.

2. are you allowed to cum inside the girls at the midnight bunny ranch
Ryan: I’d say condoms is a requirement.
Nessa: I’d agree.
Ryan:  Who the hell would want to go to the bunny ranch and raw dog it?
Nessa:  Ha!  Raw dog huh?
Ryan: Leave my vernacular alone.
Nessa: Oh Ryan, your vernacular is spectacular. 

1. i saw my wife sucking anoter man dick but i kept quit
Nessa: Why?
Ryan:  Good question.
Nessa: What about the spelling here though?
Ryan: Too easy, let’s just stay quit and not mention it.
Nessa:  True, let’s just save it for anoter search term.

V’s Weekly Wet Inbox: How Does A Woman Learn To Love Anal

analI hate anal and my boyfriend wants it bad. His last girlfriend liked it.  I feel like I have no choice.  Is it okay for me to not let him anal me and does that make me less of a woman?

I’d like to keep my wet inbox more about sex and the physical aspect, and less about relationships and/or relationship advice.  Unfortunately, I can’t control my motherly urges. 

First of all, it doesn’t make you less of a woman to not anal, just as it doesn’t make you any less of a woman who’s had a double mastectomy, hysterectomy, or shaved head.  I believe being a woman is more than the parts your born with – it’s a state of mind, your demeanor, and your outlook on things. 

Second, It’s poisonous to compare yourself to an ex because you’ll feel like you can never live up to his memories of her.  This can also be dangerous because he could use his past as a weapon against you.  “Well, my ex liked it.”  Very cowardly and not the best way to get your woman to do something. But since you’re comparing yourself to, use it to your advantage, use it as a point of reference.  Think of the wildest, nastiest anal porn you’ve seen and become that, only better.

You have the ability and the potential to be the best your man ever had.  I’ve never analled before and my man has never analled anyone before me.  But we’ve watched enough porn(amateur and professional) to know what constitutes a mind-blowing anal session.  Now, those women aren’t my man’s exes, but I take each viewing, each video, as arsenal to make me become a better lover.  The things I learned, the things I taught myself, and the things I enjoy now are things I never dreamed of doing when we first got together.

Here’s how I knew I loved analling (though this was not OUR first anal experience together): Ryan and I started in the missionary position.  His movements were slow and deep, hitting my cervix and hitting that sensitive spot that makes me feel like I have to pee.  I could feel my pussy getting wetter and wetter, so I started playing with my clit.  When he hits my ‘squirt’ spot, it’s not unusual for my juices to spill out of my body and drip down to my ass, ass hole, and all over the bed.   Knowing my ass was lubed with my own juices, I told him to put his cock in my ass.  I relaxed my ass muscles as he pulled out; I continued circling my clit.  My tight little hole grabbed around his dick as he slowly pushed in his head.  I moaned quietly as he pulled out just a little before driving back in even further.  For some reason, me being on my back as we analled felt amazing. As he pumped his hips, I begged for him to go deeper.  I felt like he could fit his entire cock in me – something I wanted to feel.  “Go deeper,” I told him. “Deeper,” I ordered.  The next thing I knew his balls were wet from the pussy juices that dripped down to my ass, which meant his whole dick was in my ass, and I loved it! 

In previous anal experiences (maybe once or twice a year for a 10-year period), although we’ve always made sure I had an orgasm while analling, using a vibrator or rubbing my clit while he was inside my ass, I never truly enjoyed the experience. Yes, I orgasmed, but never looked forward to it the way I do today. I guess so the male readers can understand, it’s like having sex with a woman who just lays there or masturbating to a Victoria’s Secret catalog that doesn’t show nudity – you orgasm, but you aren’t completely satisfied.  His dick hurt, even lubed up, it hurt. If my mind wasn’t excited about the experience, the pain was just pain. It made me feel like I was going to just poop the bed, and that’s really the feeling I focused on. Honestly, I didn’t want to have anal because I had a young woman mentality. He should have been happy with my pussy. Since he is not, I won’t be happy with his dick in my ass. Attitude is everything. Is that pride? Is that our egos? Is it the fact we didn’t grow up and think about our knight in shining armor rescuing us from a dragon and then taking us back to his castle and sticking his cock inside our ass holes?  I know one thing, as soon as I felt the urge to want to feel him fuck my ass, to have an urge to want to see my man be a man and fuck his woman’s ass, and just know I have the power to let him enjoy these moments, made everything beautiful. Learning to be in control, learning to throw away all the bullshit society teaches you what is right and wrong about sex, and learning to enjoy the pressure of a man sliding in your ass, the same way we learn to enjoy the pressure of a huge cock in our pussys making us scream with pleasure. Once the mind accepts the act, the pressure of a dick pounding your ass hole while you orgasm is greater than any Coke can sized cocked ramming your pussy. The pressure is intense beyond words and feels absolutely wonderful.

You can turn yourself on, make yourself wet (use extra lube to make easing in more comfortable), and mentally prepare yourself for an analling.  Don’t close your mind to it because you don’t know what you’re missing!

Snapshot Wednesdays – Curves

curvesI have decided to add erotic photos of Ryan and I to our blog each Wednesday, now known as Snapshot Wednesday.  We will update the gallery each week with a new photo to share with our blog followers.  We have also decided to add a Kinky Thursday, where I will answer different questions about sex, and Freaky Friday, where we will list off the top 10 freakiest search terms used to find our website that week.

This week I asked Ryan to get out a single light and let me stand in front of him.  In doing so, I originally wanted to wear jeans and have the side of his face on my hip.  This isn’t something I created, as it was inspired by a picture I showed him earlier that night.  Although we did not get the exact shot we wanted, I still feel like this one came out pretty good.  We actually got a few good photos from this photoshoot.

My Top 11 Biggest Fears of Public Bathrooms

public bathrooms11. No toilet paper.  If there’s ever a time when I have to use a public restroom, it’s because I really, really have to go.  And in my rush, I’ll fail to check if there’s toilet paper.  Then I have to either dig in my purse and hope I have tissue in there, even if they’re crumpled up in the bottom next to gum wrappers and pennies..or drip dry.  I don’t know what’s worse – granola bar crumbs stuck to my labias or sticky panties.

10. Little kids peeping between the cracks in the stall door.  It’s happened to me a few times.  I can see how women take little boys into the women’s bathroom because they’re too young to go into the men’s room by themselves. But if you’re going to have your son wait INSIDE the ladies room, at least have him turn around and face the corner Blair Witch style.  Because for the next 3-4 minutes, my stall and the 1″ crack in the door is my personal space.

9. No soap or paper towels.  I once went to the bathroom that had an extremely long line so I ended up waiting in line against the wall.  To my dismay, out of the next five people that came out of the stalls, three of them didn’t even bother to wash their hands. OH GOD! There was soap!  There were paper towels!  What were they thinking?  Not even a quick rinse under the faucet – nothing.  For the record, this bathroom was in Disney World. Certainly not the happiest place on earth.

8. My panties touching the toilet bowl.  Being a creature who pees when she sits can be a curse.  There have been times when I didn’t realize I haven’t pulled my panties all the way down and – ugh – they touch the toilet seat.  Can it get any worse than that!?  It’s like I’ve shared the same toilet paper with hundreds of women before me.  I don’t know if you can get STDs from that, but I wouldn’t doubt the possibility.

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Big Tips For Men With Small Penises

small penisThis article was written as a response to a question from a reader regarding how she can convince her lover that  he is amazing in bed, regardless of the size of his penis.  

Some of the responses below may seem shallow, but this article and these tips are meant to help guys use their tools properly, not preach about how all dicks are created equal and a good woman would never judge a man according to his size. 

1.  Move slow.  This is probably the most important tip of all, especially if your penis is smaller than average.  The last thing you want a woman to focus on is the size of your penis, and if you move quickly your penis tends to exit our vagina, then reenter.  We can feel the sensation of your penis leaving our bodies then reentering us.  This also tends to pull our lips inside with your shaft.  This doesn’t feel good.  It may feel great to you because the lips rub against your sensitive head, but it doesn’t feel great to us.  Although I will admit, teasing a woman with a larger penis, there is a time and place for this technique; the smaller men need to stay away from it.  Move slow and steady.  The slower you move, the larger your cock will feel.  Most men move quickly, especially when they get over excited.  This makes a 6 inch man feel like a 3 inch man.  I’m Asian but this  is simple math.  How long does it take for a man to reach his full potential of movement?  The faster a man goes, the smaller it feels.  The slower he moves, the larger it feels.  If your stroke is slow and deep, you can make your dick feel almost twice the size, but this takes a good man with a great stroke.

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