My Top 11 Biggest Fears of Public Bathrooms

public bathrooms11. No toilet paper.  If there’s ever a time when I have to use a public restroom, it’s because I really, really have to go.  And in my rush, I’ll fail to check if there’s toilet paper.  Then I have to either dig in my purse and hope I have tissue in there, even if they’re crumpled up in the bottom next to gum wrappers and pennies..or drip dry.  I don’t know what’s worse – granola bar crumbs stuck to my labias or sticky panties.

10. Little kids peeping between the cracks in the stall door.  It’s happened to me a few times.  I can see how women take little boys into the women’s bathroom because they’re too young to go into the men’s room by themselves. But if you’re going to have your son wait INSIDE the ladies room, at least have him turn around and face the corner Blair Witch style.  Because for the next 3-4 minutes, my stall and the 1″ crack in the door is my personal space.

9. No soap or paper towels.  I once went to the bathroom that had an extremely long line so I ended up waiting in line against the wall.  To my dismay, out of the next five people that came out of the stalls, three of them didn’t even bother to wash their hands. OH GOD! There was soap!  There were paper towels!  What were they thinking?  Not even a quick rinse under the faucet – nothing.  For the record, this bathroom was in Disney World. Certainly not the happiest place on earth.

8. My panties touching the toilet bowl.  Being a creature who pees when she sits can be a curse.  There have been times when I didn’t realize I haven’t pulled my panties all the way down and – ugh – they touch the toilet seat.  Can it get any worse than that!?  It’s like I’ve shared the same toilet paper with hundreds of women before me.  I don’t know if you can get STDs from that, but I wouldn’t doubt the possibility.

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