Anonymous via the internet.
What are your thoughts on a 40-year-old man dating a 25-year-old woman?
Nessa’s response: This is a type of situation that I’m familiar with as Ryan and I have family members in older-younger relationships. When I was in high school, I dated boys who were older than me, and when I saw older I mean two or three years. At that age, even a few months make in age difference is a big deal. However, to be honest, as I got older, there was an “eww” factor that I couldn’t get over. Maybe there was a predatory / dirty old man stigma that had been too deeply ingrained in me via Hollywood which was believed by a young-minded girl who had never been in a serious relationship let alone a older-younger relationship.
However, as I grew older, I got accustomed to it. Both Ryan and I have family members on both sides of our families who are in these May-December relationships: older woman/younger man, older man/younger woman, age differences ranging 15 to 30 years. Admittedly, it’s a bit awkward at first because everyone is trying to understand the situation (how old is that person, do they have any kids, what do they do for a living, etc.), and understandably, these types of questions help to assess their relationship, no matter how superficial that is. Even if these are valid questions, it’s really not anyone’s business but the two involved. Just be prepared to address these issues once you introduce this person to your family.
After seeing these relationships flourish, there is one thing I noticed all of them had in common: they were all previously in failed marriages. It seemed that as different as they were, it was the differences that helped their relationships work, and that instead of having so much in common that they were almost identical, they had more to discuss; their schedules were different (jobs, family, social life). The time they spend together was precious. In a way, they’ve learned to become a better partner, more communicative, and more respectful.
This reminds me of a joke I once heard: What’s the best thing about a May-December relationship? Christmas.
Ryan’s response: I honestly have no thoughts on this at all. If you both are happy, then good for you.
If you’ve read our blog then you noticed Nessa and I have done things together that would possibly gross most couples out. In fact, Nessa and I have done everything we can think of with each other, regardless of what others think. If we lived to please everyone but ourselves, this site wouldn’t exist.