On various Fridays we will post our most outrageous search terms that people used to find our website. Ryan and I will then share our own thoughts and hopefully entertain you guys or at least make the search term make a little less sense.
Each search term was gathered by wordpress and/or google statistics and they are all very real search terms. Each search term was used by some person in the world that ended up on our page.
10. underage penis
Ryan: Expect a knock on your door at anytime. Good work Agent V.
9. cumming at wrong time
Ryan: Not possible…
Ryan: At church?
Nessa: At your child’s parent-teacher conference.
Ryan: Depends on the teacher, in my opinion.
Ryan: At Disney World on the Haunted Mansion ride?
Nessa: No, you’re timing was great then.
Ryan: At work?
Nessa: If so, you’ve failed many times.
Ryan: Well, that is after work, big difference. Technically the office becomes a bedroom when your co-workers leave.
Nessa: Then explain the midday ‘sneak to the back’ copy room thing with all your co-workers definitely there…
Ryan: Was that a wrong time?
Nessa: Not really.
Ryan: So what are you saying then?
Nessa: I guess there really isn’t a wrong time. Well, except church.
Ryan: Well, technically we are married so it’s not like…
8. xairu vagina foto
Ryan: hairy vagina photo!
Nessa: Tell him what he won Chuck!
Ryan: Finally my hidden skill of deciphering one handed typing has paid off!
7. figure 8 deepthroat
Ryan: Yes please?
Nessa: You’ve had it.
Ryan: Part of your blow job techniques article?
Nessa: Uh huh…
Ryan: It’s my ballzheimers again. Maybe you should help me remember?
Nessa: Like, what, are you going to type your next comment as if its a narrator describing the scene or something?
[I slowly unzip my pants and pull my cock out]
Ryan: No, I am not corny like that.
[Nessa gets down on her knees and begins to deepthroat me. I grow in her mouth and wait to see if she can really figure 8 her throat as she deepthroats. She can.]
Ryan: I am.
6. pictures of pussy before it grows hair
Ryan: da FBI willy youzes da googlez?
Nessa: Yes they do Mr. Pussy before it grows hair guy!
5. tweety bird cum
Ryan: I don’t know about that one. Maybe the FBI will let this one slide.
Nessa: PETA won’t. Flagged.
4. shaving vagina before interrogation
Nessa: That’s what I always do…
Ryan: Yea, I’ve heard about how detectives will immediately check a woman’s vagina for hair to figure out if they committed a crime or have any information.
Nessa: I want to let them know I have nothing to hide.
Ryan: So, in other words, you don’t want your pubic hairs to testify against you?
Nessa: Yes, no telling when those curly bastards will say something incriminating. Off with their heads!
3. my wafe laik big cock fuken
Ryan: my wife likes to fuck big cocks!
Nessa: Seriously, that’s amazing.
Ryan: Thank you, I have been working on this hidden talent for years.
Nessa: I bet.
2. my dad swallowed my cum
Ryan: Relax Barney Fife.
Ryan: Oh god, I have to get you a whistle or something to blow on.
Ryan: Too easy?
Nessa: Way too easy.
1. small dicks don’t feel good because they poke the rectal walls
Nessa: Sounds fairly accurate in my opinion.
Ryan: Well, I bet her rectal walls don’t feel good either then!
Nessa: Oh Ryan, are you white horsing for the small penises of the world again?
Ryan: I’d say I was white minature ponying for them, yes…
Nessa: Captian SaveASmallDick
Ryan: Whatever. I bet her rectal walls feel like shit anyway.
Nessa: I see what you did there.