50 Cent’s Opening Pitch of a Mets Game – Worst Pitch Ever

50 CentRyan: Go to YouTube and look up “50 Cent first pitch Mets.” Prepare to laugh. Then, once you see that and laugh, go to Google images, lol

<Google Break>

Venice: lolololol omg. He was even FACING the batter and STILL managed to throw that motherfucker like a foul ball.

Ryan: LOL.  Now look at the pictures. He is so girly. Has he never thrown a fucking rock in Queens, New York? Has he never thrown a newspaper? Has he never finished a piece of gum and thrown it down the road or onto a roof? Has he never fucking thrown anything in his entire fucking life? A football? A frisbie? A bag of potato chips to his boys? His car keys to his chick? What’s even crazier is, inside his first album cover, he is holding a fucking bat. You’d think he’d be able to toss a fucking ball. Tonight, I will give a baby a fucking ball. A baby who has never thrown anything but her bottle across the room and she will still pitch better than that.

Venice: I know lolololol. You can tell he has never thrown a thing in his life.

Ryan: This fucking guy probably has an allergic reaction even when he watches Game of THRONES.

Venice: lol. His grandma probably called him up after seeing this pitch and demanded he give back the THROW blanket she bought him for Christmas.

Ryan: AHAHAHA. She still has stains on the rug and walls from when he was a kid and used to throw up fucking sideways.

Venice: He probably throws up in 90 degree angles and hits the walls behind him even though his head is hanging in a toilet.

Ryan: He used to throw down with his homies and always hit his own boy that was standing next to him.

Venice: Vegas would never ask him to throw a fight.

Ryan: Fight? You can tell he couldn’t throw a fucking punch if his life depended on it. Imagine him throwing a party though?

Venice: He’d throw a party and give directions to his house… which leads everyone two blocks away to the left of his home, at some cameraman’s house.

50 cent batRyan: Ahahaha. The dude seriously throws like a sissy.

Venice: The dude obviously didn’t pitch growing up. Must be a catcher.

Ryan: Ahaha. You better stop with that shit. This is 50 cent we are talking about. You’re going to end up staring down the barrel of a gun….

Venice: And I’d never feel safer! LOLOL

Ryan: Hahaha. If he was aiming at the wall 20 feet away from you though?

Venice: Fucking duck, you’re in trouble then.

Ryan: Ahahahahahahaahahaha.

Ryan: How are we supposed to believe he was on the corner “pitching rocks to the fiends.”

Venice: Best drug dealer ever. The cops could never catch him pitching rocks directly to anyone.

Ryan: Ahahaha oh my god.

Ryan: There goes his career. He will be remembered for that pitch.

Venice: For sure

Ryan: The pitch went viral before the game was in the 3rd inning. No bullshit.

Venice: lmaoooo!  Sad! 50’s pitch went viral before the end of the Star Spangled Banner sang by 3rd grader Lindsey Jones from Queens Elementary.

Ryan: lol. It went viral before the ball hit the reporter standing 30 feet away from the plate

Venice: It went viral before Fiddy even had the chance to think “Aww haiil naw”

Ryan: The ball accidentally hit a kid tweeting about the pitch in left center field

Venice: lolol! It was like “Oh shit…here it co…” send tweet

Ryan: “OMG, you should see how bad this fucking pitch 50 just thre…”

Ryan: Next tweet. “Fuck, just got hit by the ball.”

Venice: Upside down sit-ups can’t fix that weeble-wobble pitc–” tweet sent

Ryan: PLEASE 50, NEVER EVER EVER EVEREVEVEVEVEEVERE EVER do a drive-by. For the love of little kids on tricycles EVERYWHERE

Venice: For the love of little kids on tricycles EVERYWHERE <– not necessarily “everywhere,” but at least in the tri-county area minimum.

Ryan: Haha.

Ryan: 50 is a humanitarian. He saw a mosquito with malaria on the camera man to the very far left and changed his mind about the pitch and decided to save him.

Venice: 50 was pitching to the bat boy

Male Genital Piercing – Pros and Cons

piercing 3I’ve pierced my ears, nose, tongue, lip, nipple, ball sac (Lorum), penis (Frenum), and guiche.  The only one I have left, is my nipple.  For me, the nipple was the most painful, with the tongue being a close second.  The tongue is the only piercing I took out within the first month.  I hated it.  It may have had something to do with me only getting it because Venice asked me to, or the long healing process and having to change my entire eating habit.  I am a fast eater, but with a tongue ring, that wasn’t happening.

Fat boy gotta eat.

Either way, none of them were that bad, but the genital area piercings were the least painful.  Maybe because by nature the penis squeezing it’s way into the tightest areas on a human body and rubbing back and forth for 1000s of pumps a night, or the years of grabbing your cock and squeezing as hard as you can and yanking until you cum all over the place.  As scary as it seems, a needle is no match for the penis skin.  Now, with that said, all my piercings were skin piercings, not through the head (Ampallang, Apadravya, etc) or down the urethra (Prince Albert).  I personally have no interest in these types of piercings, but I’d assume they were much more painful than the Frenum Ladder, Lorum,  and Guiche.

Since I have removed all my genital piercings I decided to list my pros and cons.  I believe I did a blog before regarding the genital piercings, so some of my opinions may have changed.

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Threesome Memoirs – Tasting His Cum On Her Pussy

2 pussiesSo I planned a date with one of my girlfriends that I haven’t really seen in a while.   When I say plan, I really had no plan at all.  I just wanted to fuck her.

When she came over Ryan was in the shower.  I really don’t get too excited over the idea of one-on-one experiences but Ryan did tell me prior to taking a shower that I didn’t have to wait for him.  My girlfriend didn’t care regardless, because as soon as she saw me she grabbed my head and pulled me in to kiss her.  She back walked me into my own bedroom and tried to scoot me up against the bed, but I turned her around and laid her down first.  Yes, we were fighting for position to see who wanted to eat whose pussy the most.  I won.

I stripped her clothes off and mounted her body.  I took off my top and let my breasts hang in her face.  She greedily sucked on my nipples like a newborn baby.  I left my panties on and slid my body off the bed so I could stick my face in her pussy.  I loved it.

Ryan came out of the bathroom behind me with nothing but a towel.  That quickly fell to the floor when he saw his wife eating out another woman on the bed.  He didn’t hesitate to get down on his knees and start kissing on my ass while my face was buried in another woman’s crotch.  I felt my panties slide down my legs, then felt Ryan’s warm slick tongue slide inside my pussy.  I tried to keep eating her pussy but I guess I was more horny than I thought.  The sensation of Ryan’s tongue forced me to stop eating pussy.  I closed my eyes and laid my head on my girlfriend’s inner thighs so I could relax and enjoy the  feeling of Ryan’s tongue fucking my slit.

I felt Ryan slowing down and start to lift his head off my body so I turned around and said, “You know better than that.”

Ryan looked at me smiling and replied, “Did I forget something?”

I grabbed Ryan’s face and arched my back so my ass hole was in his face.  I then pulled him into my body and smothered his mouth and nose with my ass cheeks.  I responded, “You don’t come play until you’ve eaten my pussy and my ass, Ryan.  You know better.”

Ryan moaned, loving what he just heard.  He loves my ass hole totally.  I felt his tongue circling my anus rim and I decided to put my girlfriend’s pussy back in my mouth.  As Ryan would dart his tongue deep in my body, I would moan and squeeze my rim as hard as I could so I could trap his face in my dirty ass.

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