The Vagina Dialogues – Varts and Queefs

Previous Vagina Dialogue

vf3First of all, I am back.  For now, Ryan is done hosting or drafting The Vagina Dialogues.   You see, how we normally do mutual blogs is one of us will draft the questions and keep notes so they can have control over the direction of the blog or its dialogue.  Once all the ideas are jotted down, we’ll set a time for us to sit down and talk, so we can run ideas back and forth.  If it’s an email with a question, he will email his answer back to me and I will put the blog together.  If it’s a Freaky Friday or Vagina Dialogue, we will read the word or fact and kind of play off of each other.  Usually something funny or worth writing will come up and the person hosting/drafting the blog will take little notes.  At that point, the person hosting/drafting the blog will find the time to put the blog together and make everything flow.

Although Ryan is extremely cute, he lost his privilege to host The Vagina Dialogues for now.  Maybe if he makes it up to me and earns a little extra credit with my vagina, I will give him the opportunity to pilot the ship. For now, it’s like letting a little kid who likes to play with blinking lights in the cockpit of an airplane.  Although it’s obvious he loves hitting all the cute little flashing buttons, he has no idea what he is doing or where he is going.

31. Childbirth

One word: childbirth.  It’s an unbelievable fact that the vagina can allow a 10-plus-pound baby to come through it and still come back to a normal size. The healing process generally takes about six months post-baby, but that’s still pretty impressive considering what the body part went through.

Ryan: I already did 31.
Venice: Yea, except these are actual real facts Ryan.
Ryan: Mine were real facts too.
Venice:
Ryan: What? Just because I made them up doesn’t mean they aren’t real facts.
Venice: Actually, that’s exactly what that means.
Ryan: Well, your 31 is stupid and boring.  Oh boy, vaginas really have babies?  I never would have known.
Venice: I’m sorry actual facts are boring to you Ryan.  I guess I should have said that our vaginas can grow wings at night while we sleep and fly to the moon and play hopscotch with all of the other vaginas.
Ryan: So fake.  That could never be a real fact like the ones I made up.
Venice: Are you done?  Can you at least talk a little bit about this actual fact that wasn’t made up by your imagination?
Ryan: Nope.  You didn’t have vaginal birth.  A fact that doesn’t apply to you or a lot of people, because some women don’t go back to normal size, and some vaginas can’t allow 10-plus-pound babies to come through it.  In fact, most women don’t have 10-plus-pound babies.
Venice: Oh god.
Ryan: How is this a fact when it doesn’t apply to almost all women?
Venice: Someone needs some fries with his wahburger.

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