Kinkly’s Top Sex Blogging Superheroes of 2014!

AGWDM-kinkly-sex-blogging-superhero-2014Thanks to the folks over at kinkly for naming us one of the Sex Blogging Superheroes of 2014.  We appreciate being noticed and maybe next year we can hit a few more sex radars!

A big thank you to those readers who nominated us.

 

Q&A: I’m A Married Woman But Want To Fuck Escorts

Dear V & R –escorts

I would really appreciate your advice and honest feedback, if you are willing to provide it!

For as long as I’ve been an adult, I’ve struggled with promiscuity, feeling shame about sex, and hiding what I really want. We won’t get into the psychological reasons why, but the long and short of it is, I’m a type-A person with a lot of issues around authenticity, attachment, and vulnerability. I’ve been with a lot of great partners, and I regret nothing I’ve done. My sexual life is full, I’ve had some incredible sex, and I have been very lucky.

I am now married to a wonderful man. Our relationship is not without issues, but all of them are manageable and I’m still in love, happy to be his wife, and very proud of the life we’ve created.

He also knows that I’ve struggled with feeling out of control, and has been very affirming. My husband has said that if I wanted to explore bringing another person into our bed, I would need to tell him. That is not sexually appealing to me, nor am I interested in that kind of relationship. I do not believe my love for him is limited to monogamy, and I know I can love this person and create safe, compartmentalized experiences for myself with hard limits.

Here’s the thing. Our culture provides options for people who want to have sex outside of their marriages. I’m thinking about paying for a provider.

There are some things that are really appealing about that option. One, there are hard boundaries and I decide what I want, when, etc. Two, female sex workers are an economic wonder to me — I have the means to create an experience that I design, that is limited to me, and I can do it with someone who is paid to provide pleasure and (hopefully) enjoys her work. Three, the emotional issues and interpersonal drama that can come from allowing a third-party to enter your sex life will be minimized. I have no interest in cultivating a FWB relationship, zero desire to allow my husband to “approve” or subsidize the experience..

I just want to pay to fuck and play. Then I want to leave. If I return, I would like to assume that will be because there was a mutually satisfactory experience. I look at it like this – I have a colorist, a masseuse, a waxer, and a therapist. Having sex with a provider has the potential to be equally as therapeutic — right?

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Open Relationships (Threesomes) In Hollywood – Robin Thicke and Paula Patton Divorce

paula-patton-robin-thickeVenice: It comes to no surprise to me that actress, Paula Patton, wife of singer Robin Thicke, has finally filed for divorce. I’m not going to go on about “she was too good for him anyway” the way the Ricky Smiley morning radio show did this morning, because she’s not. Paula Patton and Robin Thicke are two beautiful people whose relationship was enviable because of the length of time they’d been together (since they were 14 years old), which is right up there with Denzel & Pauletta Washington (married 31 years) and Kevin Bacon & Kyra Sedgwick (married 26 years). That is the primary reason I had for going “Aww” every time I saw them in a picture together. I’m sure there are other couples who’ve been together longer, but these are the ones that come to mind from my generation. Celebrity or not, you gotta love relationships that (may or may not) outlast their careers.

Ryan: I’ve never heard of either of them.

Venice: Anyway, so upon hearing the news about Robin & Paula’s divorce, I was kind of ehh about it, as if this was something to be expected. Why? There had been rumors about them having threesomes and even being in an open relationship. While I don’t think monogamy or open relationships have anything to do with having a successful marriage, I do believe that their communication has at some point been askewed. I refuse to make a blurred lines joke. It’s been reported that during their two-year threesome affair with a female massage therapist, Paula caught the other woman and her man together. Is this true? Who knows. Only three people in the world know the answer to that. He threatened to sue the magazine for slander because he claims that was a lie. He may drop case completely or even settle quietly in the background because who wants to be remembered as a cheater? Not him. ‘Cause how you gonna make song after song about being in love with a woman (also your baby’s mama) and then cheat on her? You lost all your proverbial street cred, Robin.

Ryan: Oh is this the guy that did the twerk thing on VH1 with Billy Bob Thornton’s daughter?!

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Random Moments – The Last Blockbuster Employee

the last blockbuster employeeWhen Venice and I got married we both considered Blockbuster part of our family. Throughout our marriage, Blockbuster nights, buying old used DVDs for $3.99, renting games, paying too much for candy and microwave popcorn, and even threatening to beat up employees that hit on Venice, Blockbuster has been great to us.

The one thing I always assumed about video store employees is that they loved movies, and seemed to enjoy the idea of working at video stores.  Unlike working at Lowes or Home Depot where the conversation with customers tends to be about light fixtures or nail sizes, the Blockbuster employees would grab each video you were renting and tell you how much they enjoyed or hated it.  They would even throw in a the fact that they watched it 3 days before it was released to the public just because they could.  This always made me a bit envious.  I knew I could have watched it in the movie theater, but I didn’t.  I knew technically everyone in the world had the opportunity to watch it before it came out on video, but it was the 3 to 6 month period of darkness between the movie not being in theaters and it showing up at Blockbuster that I really wanted to see the movie and I couldn’t.  However, Benjamin could.  He had the Blockbuster employee, a few days in advance, hook up.  Oh yes, how bad I wanted to have that hook up.

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