Q&A: Am I Crazy? Sexually Frustrated Wife Needing Help

My husbsexually frustratedand and I have been together for almost 9 years, married for almost 5. Our relationship is generally very good but there is a constant issue that we’ve had for the past few years and that is SEX.

I’m 29, husband is 27. I want sex ALL THE TIME, all day everyday. My husband is content with sex once a week or every two weeks even. It’s definitely slowed from a few years ago. I initiate almost every night and almost always get refused by him.

Worst of all there have been a couple of times I’ve caught him watching porn while I am asleep in bed, and he says it’s because sex is too much work.

We have two kids under 5 he likes to blame but I make sure they’re asleep in their own beds by 9pm every single night, so now he likes to blame work instead. He’s now too tired to have sex. Funny thing is I work 30 hours a week, go to university full time, be a wife and mom, and I’m still not too tired for sex.

I don’t know what to do. We rehash this issue all the time, it turns into arguments all the time. We have a happy marriage otherwise, and I don’t want to be with anyone else. But he makes me feel silly, crazy, or abnormal telling me that it’s all me and I have a higher than average sex drive. He says once every 1-2 weeks is normal for a couple who’s been together as long as we have with two young kids, but I have other friends with kids who say they get sex more often than I do. When I tell him this he laughs and says they are lying to make themselves look better than us.

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