Dirty Talk And What It All Means

talk dirtyI’ve decided to write a blog about dirty talk and translate it with different perspectives, including my own.  This was written lightheartedly and isn’t intended to be fact.  I’m sure some men actually do have intelligible babble while they talk dirty in the bedroom.

His Actions and Words: <petting her head as she sucks his dick> “Good girl.”
Her Prude/Feminist Translation:  “He is petting me like I am a dog and saying good girl for doing a good job.  First, I am a woman, not an animal or his child.  This type of talk is makes him feel like a man and an authoritative figure.  It brings out his caveman machismo, which is supposed to quench my instincts to please my man, it doesn’t.  I am supposed to be happy he is awarding my good behavior, I’m not.”
My Translation: “I am his pet, his little girl with my tight little pussy and tiny mouth. It hurts when I have to stretch my jaws around his cock.  I want to get recognition while I suck him off, so I will shake my little ass and wag my tailfeather for him.  I love the way he pets me to show his affection and appreciation.  God I love it when he calls me his good little girl.  He’s the only man on earth that can call me that and make my pussy drip.”
What He Is Really Thinking:
“Awwwwwwwwww ughhhhhhhhhhhhh ihhhhhhhhh ahhhhhhh awwwwwwwww (unintelligible babble).”

His Words: “Suck my dick like a porn star you sexy bitch.”
Her Prude/Feminist Translation: “First of all, you call me a bitch again and I will bite this fucking dick off.  As far as porn star, I’m much better than a porn star.  If I decide to suck your penis, because I want to, not because you want it, I do it because I love you, not to get paid.  You should be saying  ‘If you decide to continue putting your lips around my member, do it like you love me please.’   Any preconceived idea of a good blowjob from a disgusting adult video is the opposite of sexy.”
My Translation: “Oh he wants me to spit all over his cock and twist my wrists and see how hard it is to give him an indian burn with his dick all wet.  He wants me to slam my face onto his shaft and open my mouth wide so I can lick his balls as I have his cock so far down my throat I can’t breath.  He is in the mood for me to leave his dick sore from all the friction and movement.  I’ll be your little porn star slut.  Show this sexy bitch the audition room, Mr. Big Dick.”
What He Is Really Thinking: “
Awwwwwwwwww ughhhhhhhhhhhhh ihhhhhhhhh ahhhhhhh awwwwwwwww (unintelligible babble).”

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