Review: Hipster by Liberator

First of all, Liberator is a local company just a few miles away from us, so let’s just say we may be a bit biased. ¬†ūüôā

Okay, not really, being bias is for the weak. Nessa and I are strong like bull! However,¬†it is¬†cool to know that the flagship store¬†is near us. Knowing that if this order didn’t turn out right, I could easily storm into the flagship store and flip over tables of anal plugs and penis pumps until I got my satisfaction. ¬†“First of all Ms. Liberator Store Manager Person, either you guys need to add a few inches to this Hipster’s height, or you need to make my penis a few inches bigger. ¬†No exceptions. ¬† I’ll wait over there¬†by the strap ons and ball gags until you decide what you need to do.” ¬†Let’s just hope the Hipster is everything¬†we¬†wanted it to be…

So we got this small package in the mail and had no idea what it would be. ¬†We hadn’t ordered anything small and the box was the size of computer tower. ¬† I opened the box (in the future, if anyone is interested in us recording our box openings, leave a comment and let us know) and saw what appeared to be a¬†cute¬†red velvet material folded nicely, a nice¬†zipped up bag the size of a round couch pillow, and a promotional photo of a woman and her Hipster. ¬†Seeing the red velvet and the promotional photo let me know this was the Hipster. My first thought was, “Oh God, this is blow up furniture.” ¬†A bit disappointed, I pull the material out of the zipped up bag. ¬†It looks¬†like a very durable material. My next thought was, “How long will it take Nessa and I to pop this damn thing.” ¬† I saw printed on a small piece of paper, “Vacuum compressed.” ¬†Unsure exactly what that meant, I dug my fingers into the plastic and ripped the material out of the bag. ¬†And then… I was attacked! ¬† As soon as the air hit the inside of the bag, I learned that not only was it not inflatable, it was ready to come out of the package and¬†launch at me. ¬†I panicked, thinking the Hipster would get stuck in the plastic as it expanded, I fought back to rip off all the plastic wrapping so it could expand without any problems. ¬†It did. ¬†In fact, I was blown away by the packaging. ¬†The Hipster is huge, sturdy, and I don’t think there is any way Nessa and I could do anything destructive to this thing no matter how rough we got. ¬† I grapple/mma¬†on material similar to what is inside the¬†Hipster, and this stuff is durable as hell.

2015-07-14For me, this is a good thing.  Because recently Nessa broke a bouncing sex chair (and my penis) a few months ago and it scarred/scared me for life. We just happen to be filming as it happened.  Yes, that *.gif is the bouncing sex chair breaking mid bounce.  Thankfully my penis made it out of the accident with only a few minor scraps and bruises.

Anyway, I promised myself that if we did more reviews, we would not judge how safe a sex toy is on the environment, how¬†certain¬†rubber will loosen the vagina much more significantly if it’s twice the size of a softer rubber dildo, or how rubbing a sex toy against your body may cause red marks if you do it too hard.¬† We review for fun, for the experience. I’d like to make sure all our reviews talk about our own personal experience with the product and not something we’ve read or researched. ¬† I also like to have fun, make jokes, and just be myself. No infomercials allowed. ¬†Let’s leave those types of reviews to the sex toys gurus… I just want to fuck Nessa while she bends over this sexy ass red velvet pillow.

With that being said, when Nessa saw the Hipster¬†on the bed, she ran full speed with her jeans on and belly flopped¬†onto the cushion yelling out, “I’m so tirrrrrred.” ¬†She grunted when she landed. I turned around and laughed when I saw the position she landed in: ass up / face down. ¬†I wanted to rip her jeans off on the spot.

Don’t move, I want a photo!

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