Celebrity Sex Tape: Our Thoughts and Reviews

untitled2Two things that pique our most primal instincts: watching people fuck or fight.  Let’s cut to the chase – people enjoy celebrity sex tapes because they are watching celebrities fuck.   It’s a small window of opportunity to look inside the lives of famous people and see how they do the dirty deed.  Most of the time, our minds build these people up into super humans; famous and able to do things we can only imagine.  However, seeing them fuck brings them right back down to earth.  We love that. Money and fame can’t make a celebrity’s sex life any better than Mary Joe and Billy Bob in the trailer park.  Money didn’t make his dick big, didn’t make his female partner fly around the bed room and land on his cock after 8 flips and a somersault, and it didn’t make his orgasm any different from our own.  Good sex is all about attitude, keeping your ego in check, and letting someone totally consume you (something celebrities have a very hard time with), and being open and comfortable with your partner.

If you’ve watched a sex tape, ask yourself why.  Did you wonder what a person who has money and fame fucks like?   Oh, Ms. Everything is so gorgeous and a great actor, I wonder how well she fucks and sucks dick?  I wonder how she grooms her vagina?   How do her nipples look?  I wonder if her partner is huge?   How big is his dick?  In fact, these questions will be our official categories when rating videos.

Below I have listed each category with a short description of the criteria for each:

Categories:

Quality:  Can you even see what is going on?  Most real sex tapes do not have the best quality (see our stuff), so we will rate each videos quality.  This opinion will be based solely of the quality of the footage, not the content.

Entertainment Value:   Is the video even worth the attention it gets?  Does this sex tape include real home video footage, paid actors with fake “home” footage, wrestling midget clowns, corny dialogue, or just straight sex footage.   This category speaks for itself.  Entertainment value.

Star Factor:  Can this video turn a C-rated celebrity into a superstar?   Does the video live up to the hype behind the name?  We’ll decide.

Skill: Does he/she fuck good?  Of course this is all based on our opinions, but we will judge the skill level of these celebs.  Does he fuck good, does she suck dick amazing, or do they just flat out stink in the sack?

The Woman:  This category will be based off the quality of the woman/women, including her hair, her breasts, her ass, her vagina grooming habits, and yes, probably even her nails.

The Man: Everyone likes to see what a man is working with, including other men.   In other words, is his dick big?   If the man is a celeb or not, we will let you know our opinions of what sized tools are being used in each sex tape.

Sexual Value:  This is a bit different from entertainment value, simply because I can be entertained, but not wet.  During the videos, Ryan and I will sit next to each other and I will fondle him, rub his balls, and watch with an open mind.  I assume he will be doing the same.   Does it give Ryan an erection?     Does it make me want to suck his dick?  We will watch the videos together and if we fuck during or immediately after, the videos will be given a high sex value.    I assume, famous or not, if the sex is good and they both seem into it, it will turn us both on.   If the sex is medicore, we will let you know.

Our Format:
Quality:
Entertainment Value:
Star Factor:
Skill Level:
The Woman:
The Man:
Sexual Value:
Summary and Conclusion:

In all fairness, we have certainly had our own stuff criticized, reviewed, hated, loved, insulted, complimented, judged, and so on. With over a half million views on our “sex tapes,”,we understand that nothing can please everyone.  Some people think a dick is big, some people think a dick is small.  Some people think a woman acting timid and sucking dick slow is amazing, some people think that is lame as hell.  Opinions are just that, opinions.  Our reviews are meant to entertain those that come to our site and read our blogs, moreso than truly judge a sex tape.  If you were really interested in a sex tape, I assume you’d find it yourself rather than come here to read our opinions about it.

A Complete List Of Celebrity Sex Tapes

farrahFarah Abraham
2013: The MTV personality announced that she had filmed a sex tape with porn star/actor James Deen. She claimed the video is a celebration of her body and nothing more.

More about Farah Abraham:
Farrah Lynn Abraham (born May 31, 1991) is an American reality television personality. Born in Omaha, Nebraska, and raised in Council Bluffs, Iowa, she came to prominence after being cast in the reality television series 16 and Pregnant in 2009, which documented the pregnancies and first months of motherhood for several young women. Later that year she was cast in the spin-off series Teen Mom, and appeared in each of its four seasons until its conclusion in 2012. That August she released her debut studio album and first memoir, both of which were titled My Teenage Dream Ended. The book made it onto The New York Times Best Seller list, while the album was named the 32nd best album of 2012 by The Guardian, which called it “the weirdest record you’ve heard this year. A truly bizarre mix of generic Guetta-pop beats, drilling sounds, and Abraham’s abrasive AutoTuned vocals”.

In 2013, Abraham gained worldwide notoriety after the release of the ‘sex tape’ Farrah Superstar: Backdoor Teen Mom, in which she appeared with adult-film star James Deen; its sequel Farrah 2: Backdoor and More included unused footage from the first shoot and was released the following year. In 2014, she appeared on the fourth season of Couples Therapy individually; in doing so, she became the first cast member to participate without a partner. In 2015, she returned to Teen Mom with the spin-off series Teen Mom OG.

Farrah Abraham Sex Tape Review


 

Pamela-AndersonPamela Anderson
1998: The honeymoon Pamela and her then-husband Tommy Lee was captured on camera by the couple and later leaked online by Internet Entertainment Group. It’s one of the first online celeb sex tape scandals. 2005: A DVD of Pamela and Bret Michaels was released.

More about Pamela Anderson:
Pamela Denise Anderson (born July 1, 1967) is a Canadian-American actress. In addition to her acting career, she is also a model, producer, author, activist and a former showgirl, known for her roles on the television series Home Improvement, Baywatch and V.I.P.. She was chosen as a Playmate of the Month for Playboy magazine in February 1990. For a time, she was known as Pamela Anderson Lee (or Pamela Lee) after marrying Mötley Crüe drummer Tommy Lee. Anderson is a member of the animal rights movement and has conducted campaigns condemning the commercial fur industry and promoting veganism through the animal rights organization People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA). In 2006, she was inducted into Canada’s Walk of Fame.

Pamela Anderson Sex Tape Review

Continue reading

Review: Screeched (Screech or Dustin “Dirty Sanchez” Diamond) Sex Tape

dustindiamondWhen it comes to sex tapes, this is the one that possibly killed the entire movement.  Dustin Diamond, better known as Screech from Saved By The Bell, pulls out all his tricks for this one… or does he?

Screeched, Saved By The Smell, was supposedly recorded in a St. Louis hotel room with the intention to sell as a “leaked” sex tape.  Although Dustin Diamond has said that he tried to stop the tape being “leaked”, David Hans Schmidt of Red Light District Video, has said Dustin was in on the deal the entire time.  Although Schmidt has claimed the video is 100% authentic to his knowledge, a lot of people question Dustin is actually the guy behind the penis.

“Dustin was in on this deal from the start,” Schmidt tells us. “He made this tape in a St. Louis hotel room with two girls last summer with the intention that I would sell it.”  Schmidt showed us what he vouches is Diamond’s signature on a contract dated Aug. 27, 2006. Attached is a cover letter on which Diamond’s manager, Roger Paul, appears to have scribbled, “Let’s make some money!” Schmidt suspects Diamond has been doubly deceptive. “I have reason to believe that is not Dustin’s [manhood] in the movie,” says the agent. “You never see his face and his [manhood] in the same shot. If, in fact, he used a body double, I’m going to sue him for defrauding me, Red Light and the American public.

Our only question is, why would anyone use that penis as a stunt double?  It’s quite possibly the ugliest looking penis we’ve ever seen.

Continue reading

Review: Pam & Tommy Lee Hardcore and Uncensored (Pamela Anderson)

tommyandpam

I suppose you are wondering why anyone would review the Pamela Anderson and Tommy Lee sex tape 18 years later. Damn, 18 years later?!    Well, first of all, our entire site is based off real couples and real sex.  This video is a bit of both.  Also, it doesn’t feel right reviewing sex tapes or future sex tapes without at least writing our opinions about the godfather of them all. Yes, it’s a bit outdated but it has to be done.  The fun part is we have never really watched these videos so for us it’s still our first impressions.

 A bit of background for those of you that may have been underage or under a rock when this tape leaked.  Pamela Anderson and Tommy Lee had a sex tape of them on their honeymoon leak in 1995 after it was stolen from their home.  Anderson sued the video distribution company, Internet Entertainment Group. Ultimately, the Lees entered into a confidential settlement agreement with IEG. Thereafter, the company began making the tape available to subscribers to its web sites again, resulting in triple the normal traffic on the sites.

Another tape, which was made before the Tommy Lee tape, involving Anderson and musician Bret Michaels from Poison, was later announced, and an abridged version of less than 60 seconds appeared on the internet. Frames of the video first appeared in Penthouse magazine in March 1998. The tape was successfully blocked by Michaels, but a four-minute sex tape is still available on the Internet.

  Continue reading

Review: Farrah Abraham in Backdoor Teen Mom Sex Tape

farrahabrahamFrom MTV’s Teen Mom to Backdoor Squirting Milf Porn Star.  You saw how she raised her child, now you can see how she makes them. Farrah Abraham released her sex tape via Vivid for sell and download, the same company that released Pamela Anderson and Tommy Lee (Pam and Tommy), Jimi Hendrix, Kim Kardashian, WWE Diva Chyna, and a number of other B / C / D level celebs that can only get your attention by fucking each other’s brains out on camera…

… the same way we do!

I’m not mad at you Farrah, sex is beautiful, and doing it the way you do it is even more beautiful.   Co-star / porn actor James Deen has openly said that recording this video was just another day in the office for him.  Any claims of this being a “private” sex tape is false, as it was purposely recorded in home video fashion to create more interest.    Farrah, no need to pretend it’s a home video, just tell everyone you take it in the ass and squirt all over the room, that’s all the buzz you need.

Farrah Abraham just went from the most annoying D level reality star / teen mom on earth, to now just a somewhat slightly annoying milf with A level porn skills.  Her new large breasts and open-attitude towards anal sex definitely puts her a lot higher in my book.  Although her oral skills need work,  her anal, ass to mouth, ass to pussy then back to ass then back to pussy then back to mouth,  and squirting techniques will make even the most uptight executive at Viacom proud.  Good find MTV!  Your casting director and talent scouts need raises for sure.

Vivid’s synopsis:

“From Iowa cheerleader to MTV Teen Mom star, midwest beauty Farrah Abraham breaks free with her most daring video ever, Farrah Superstar: Backdoor Teen Mom. Made originally as a personal ‘boudoir’ tape, Farrah decided to release the video to her fans due to overwhelming response once news of the tape became public for download. Shockingly explicit, she takes James Deen as you’d never imagine, in a backdoor scene you’ll never forget. With her tight young body and totally uninhibited sexuality, it’s no wonder why she wanted to capture this moment in time. And now you can too!” 

Continue reading

Review: Octomom Sex Tape – Home Alone (Nadya Suleman)

octomom-home-aloneOctomom Home Alone is a pornographic film featuring prominent American mother Nadya Suleman, also known as “Octomom,” masturbating. The DVD was released on 16 July 2012 by Wicked Pictures and drew media attention given Suleman’s celebrity and recognition from the AVN Awards.

In 2009, Suleman gave birth to the Suleman octuplets. News of the octuplets caused an international media sensation. Public response was largely negative, including death threats.

Although under severe financial pressure raising 14 children, Suleman had publicly stated she would not do pornography. She explained that stance, saying “I’ve been celibate for 14 years and I’m a regular church-goer.” She also claimed she had never masturbated. However, in 2012 Suleman filed for bankruptcy in federal court, claiming a $1 million debt. She thus reversed her earlier position, saying “If it’s a job, and it’s a well-paying job, and it’s going to allow me to get out of here and move in a very safe, huge home that they deserve, I’m going to do it.” She was paid a five-figure amount and monthly royalties.

Under director Brad Armstrong, Suleman filmed her scenes in a San Fernando Valley mansion. She was reportedly nervous upon her arrival, but calmed after speaking with other adult performers. The producers also showed Suleman pornographic films to prepare her and gave her advice on her performance. Suleman also credited her manager Gina Rodriguez for producing and marketing the video.

Suleman later said of the video, “It was such a positive experience for me and helped me embrace my sexuality.” She also described the scenes as “empowering and liberating.”

Continue reading