Each week we will post our most outrageous search terms that people used to find our website that week. Ryan and I will then share our own thoughts and hopefully entertain you guys or at least make the search term make a little less sense.
Each search term was gathered by wordpress and/or google statistics and they are all very real search terms. Each search term was used by some person in the world that ended up on our page.
10. swallow the juice of life semen
Ryan: The juice of life huh? Sounds like something you’d say.
Nessa: I’ll admit, in the heat of the moment, I definitely see myself saying something crazy like “Let me swallow your juice of life.”
Ryan: Way worse, but yea.
9. who likes to gag on deepthroat, forums
Nessa: Maybe they meant deepthroat forearms?
Ryan: I think it’s interesting people are searching for forums specifically to find others to socialize with that like to gag on deepthroat.
Nessa: Sub -Forum: Vomit or Swallow
Ryan: Sub-Forum: Tonsil Problems
Nessa: Sub-Forum: Sword Tricks
Ryan: Sub-Forum: Bulimia
Nessa: Forum Topic: Deepthroating has helped smash my tonsil stones.
Ryan: Forum Topic: Can you deepthroat with strep throat?
Nessa: Forum Topic: Stomach acids have melted my husband’s penis head.
Ryan: Real nice Nessa.
Nessa: Strep throat?
Ryan: Tonsil stones?
Nessa: Let’s move on before this gets ugly.
Ryan: Your momma.
8. watching bf’s penis shrink after he cums
Nessa: That usually happens when I wash cotton shirts in warm water.
Ryan: Learn how to wash your cocks ladies. We do not like shrinking.
Nessa: Ladies, think, clothes pins and hang dry.
Ryan: Ladies, think, that isn’t funny and a very nasty break up.
7. fellatio puking
Nessa: Personally, I like seeing fellatio puking
Ryan: I’ve seen it a few times.
Nessa: You’ll see it a few more.
6. huge clit home
Nessa: I think this search term came up after we posted the guy who won the smallest penis contest
Ryan: Ha! Possibly.
5. could female porn actresses have orgasms during film sessions?
Nessa: I am under the impression everything in porn is real.
Ryan: For sure. All female porn stars have 10 orgasms in 5 minutes.
Nessa: “Oh Daddy, you’re the best.”
Ryan: I believe her.
4. adults fucking for real sex drive photos
Ryan: I don’t think you can capture someone’s sex drive with photos.
Nessa: Well, you know how when you’re driving and you run a red light they will have hidden cameras that take your picture? Maybe they could do that with our genitals?
Ryan: Are you being serious right now?
Nessa: Oh my god, your face would be so funny looking if a camera inside my vagina took a picture while you ate me out.
Ryan: Uh huh.
Nessa: Eyes all closed, making lovey faces all proud you are tasting my pussy.
3. She makes me wear butt plugs
Ryan: Not my type of woman.
Nessa: Oh Ryan, don’t worry sweetie, I promise it won’t hurt a bit.
Ryan: Real cute V.
2. I made my husband swallow his own cum
Ryan: Sounds familiar.
Nessa: I can see her now… keeping his mouth open with a speculum and using a funnel
Ryan: That doesn’t sound familiar at all, what the fuck? Why are you looking at me and smiling?
Nessa: Oh nothing.
Ryan: I don’t think so V. No pictures, no blogging about it, no funnels or speculums, not happening, no way.
Nessa: Whatever you say Ryan.
Ryan: I’m serious, quit smiling.
1. what is the effect of swallowing sperm on the hips of women?
Ryan: I think it keeps your hips in great shape. In fact, I’ve heard that swallowing cum actually burns fat. It takes more energy to digest semen, meaning semen has negative calories. If you were to eat semen all day you would absolutely lose weight. You could probably just give up exercise all together and just swallow cum all day and let your digestive system work your fat away. You’re welcome fellas.
Nessa: Are you done?
Ryan: Maybe, why?
Nessa: First, false. That’s celery. Second, you could sleep and burn more fat than eating celery all day. Third, in a way you are right, because the alternative to swallowing may end up giving you “child bearing hips.”
Ryan: So either way, you’re saying, swallowing is good right?
Nessa: Quit smiling.