Freaky Search Terms – wife wants a squirting dildo for me

ffst-300x200Freaky search terms, where we post our most outrageous search terms that people used to find our website.  Ryan and I will then share our own thoughts and hopefully entertain you guys or at least make the search term make a little less sense.

Each search term was gathered by wordpress and/or google statistics and they are all very real search terms.   Each search term was used by some person in the world that ended up on our page.

10) when do woman cum while being choked, right before passing out?
Ryan: I’ve heard after death. Most girls love it and would probably try it again if they could.
Nessa: Yea, going out with a bang for sure.
Ryan: [insert disclaimer here]
Nessa: We are not responsible for your stupidity.

9) straddle her face fuck her face head bang on bed post rape her face with big cock
Nessa: These are the best. I really like seeing a detailed description of what a guy wants. Or girl.
Ryan: Almost as good as “Best ass gape in the world from a 10 inch girth pink dildo video”

8) after wife used large dildo she cant feel my dick
Ryan: What is, what all my ex’s next boyfriend complained about?
Nessa:
Ha! Jeopardy?
Ryan: Large Dildo’s for 500 please.
Nessa: What is…if she can’t feel your dick now, she probably never could.
Ryan:  Dang.  Game over.

7) is it same to swallow your own semen doctor
Nessa: I’m not sure what he’s trying to say here: “Is it SAFE to swallow your own semen doctor” or “Is it SANE to swallow your own semen doctor”? Either way, the answer is yes.
Ryan: Sounds like he is asking us if he can swallow his semen doctor.
Nessa: If that’s the case, the answer is no. You don’t know where his hands have been.

6) can i swallow my bf cum while being on coke
Ryan: I heard that if you swallow cum while you are on coke your stomach will explode.
Nessa: Or Alka-Seltzer and pop rocks.

5) thots swallowing cum
Nessa: If I would have seen this a few years ago, I would have assumed the questions was supposed to be “Thoughts on swallowing cum”
But in keeping up with slang from the internetz, a thot is an acronym for “that ho over there.” I think any woman who swallows your cum is a keeper, just my opinion.
Ryan: I’m not hip to this lingo.

4) menfuck chicken pet
Nessa:
Our readers are disgusting.
Ryan:
Sick.
Nessa:
Any more like this?
Ryan:
I don’t know, looking now.
Nessa:
Okay good, find another one worse.
Ryan:  Hell yea.

3) how to fuck your wife with a small dick
Ryan: Rabbit style.
Nessa: Yea, nothing like a small penis going rabbit style on your pussy.  Sounds like your creating a bunch of Don Juans Ryan.
Ryan:  Monkey Style.  I do that pussy like a Wu-Tang album.
Nessa: Okay Ol’ Dirty Ryan.

2) wife wants a squirting dildo for me
Nessa: I want one too!
Ryan: Uh, I don’t think so.  Unless they make a pinky squirting dildo, you can keep wanting it.  1 finger only girl.
Nessa: Don’t worry, Ryan.
Ryan:  I’m not worried.
Nessa: I would make flavored semen, like Strawberry Kiwi BLAST or Banana CREAMPIE. LOL
Ryan: Don’t you think that will make your face sticky?
Nessa: Or yours.
Ryan: Negative.
Nessa: You are about 2 seconds from being peed on right now if you don’t stop.
Ryan:

1) i stick my penis into my wife vagina whole night and sleep what happen in the morning
Ryan: Think Jack and the Beanstalk.  
Nessa: Wait, are you saying that if you leave your penis in my vagina over night I will be able to grow a beanstalk into the bonus level, jump on clouds, and collect gold coins?
Ryan: No, I wasn’t saying that but… fucking awesome.
Nessa: Warp zone bitch.
Ryan: And that’s why I love you.

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