Pre-Ejaculation – It’s Not a Bad Thing

pre-mature ejaculationPre-ejaculation – Occurs when a man experiences orgasm and expels semen soon after sexual activity and with minimal penile stimulation.

I’ve been torn between the thought of pre-ejaculation. Is it bad when a guy pre-ejaculates?

When you first meet a man he talks about this shit like, “Giiiiirrrrl, I’m gonna fuck you all night long.” He likes to think of himself as an absolute machine of a man, like The Terminator. The chick gets real excited about it, as if she’s expecting him to have a big dick, too, and it’s gonna be a world-changing event and her toes will curl from just the mere thought of him. And it’s true – women think that good sex is equivalent to all-night sex. I can see how that can be mistaken. When you’re an inexperienced female lover, you’re led to believe through years of brainwashing (though media and of course through the false promises of an equally-inexperienced young man who claims he will rock your proverbial world) that pulling an all-nighter is all you’ll ever want or need, the type of sex where afterwards you go, “Wow, so that’s what its like being fucked by an actual man.” Obviously, when we are young, boys are far from satisfactory in bed and this is where pre-ejaculation gets a bad rap. Because of the stigma with cumming too soon or not being able to control your orgasm because you get too excited (not used to a woman’s body), most men develop this absolute idea that they will be the one person who can’t orgasm. Almost like this is a super power. “I can fuck you all night.”

Fast forward – after you’ve seen what a man can do in bed, after seeing him work your body over for years, the young girl in you dies and instead you want a man that knows how to touch your buttons and orgasms right before your body exhausts. Yes, guys – our bodies get exhausted from sex. Sex for too long makes me want to never have sex again. Not because I’m impatient, not because I don’t enjoy it, but because sex for long periods of time, especially as an adult when both people are mature can be extremely selfish. During sex, Ryan has explained to me that my body feels like a drug. Literally, him pistoning his dick gives his body the same reaction as feeling a rush of heroin in his body. He goes numb and everything in his world becomes perfect. Every bill becomes irrelevant. Drama at work is meaningless. Sex is an escape and a total high (and as women we love giving them this feeling). Ryan has explained to me that he can be in such a mental high that having an orgasm takes away this feeling. The orgasm is actually a bad thing, because it means the high is over. Every time we fuck, he says he just wants to fuck me forever. He means it. For him to ignore my body, ignore what I feel, ignore my body might not want to be fucked until I am raw and unable to walk the next day, is totally selfish. Don’t get me wrong, I get the feeling of high, I get the rush of the chemicals in my body that put me in this zombie-like state, but this is a feeling you have to control. There are times where we both zone out and the next day my pussy is so raw that I can’t even pee without squirming and feeling miserable. His dick has looked like someone rubbed sandpaper on it and washing off with soap makes him cringe. You have to be able to control the temptation to get high for too long. It is certainly okay to get caught up in the sexual high and ignore your partner. And having sex “for too long” is no longer a badge of honor, it’s more something men should be in control of to show they are in tune with their women. it’s something they should focus on not getting lost in because they love the feeling of sex more than the orgasm itself.

A pre-ejaculation at this point in your marriage is the highest compliment you can get. IT means that he is still that turned on by you. It means that you still have total control over him. It means he feels your body and it’s like the first time he ever felt a woman. No pre-ejaculation (ever) after a certain point in marriage is a bad thing. Not saying it should be a habit, but sometimes the best sex is when a man loses control in minutes because everything you’ve learned, everything you say, every way you move, makes him unable to control his own body function. Ryan not only knows my threshold of how much my body can take, but he knows what my mind wants, too. For example, if we’ve been sipping a little bit, sometimes a quick 15 minutes of hard fucking / exciting / position-exploring is exactly what I want. This is what makes him a good lover – being sensitive to my needs beyond the physical level.

If you are 40 and still fuck your wife for two hours each night (unless she absolutely wants this), that is just as much of a problem as being 20 and cumming after 1 minute. You and your woman should be in total sync with each other and orgasms or sex should never be miserable to her because you want to show how long you can have sex. Don’t over stay your welcome and definitely don’t use my body to get high. Because if your woman isn’t high with you, you’re just a burden to her as you ignore her displeasure.

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