Q&A: Opinions On Buying A Huge Dildo For My Wife?

HugeBeen married 19 years and our sex life really got good again a couple years ago. I am 43 and she is 41.

She has a low sex drive and hates to talk about sex, so I usually just try stuff and sometimes it sticks. I noticed one night on giving her an erotic massage I was fingering her and I kept adding fingers. I couldn’t believe how much she was taking but she was loving it and eventually had a small vaginal orgasm which is rare (she is clitoral).

She doesn’t like to admit such things but she admitted liking this. I told her I had 4 fingers in there and she looked at me like don’t tell me that. So…like I said, she doesn’t like to talk about it.

I have kidded around about a large dildo. She usually laughs but sometimes looks interested. She took advantage of my birthday by saying, “if you really want to use one on me, you can.” BTW – I am above average. I don’t think she would have ever considered until realizing the “stretch” I gave her with my hands felt so good. Plus, she has become more vaginal in the past year and even squirting.

So, on my birthday I used a large dildo and she couldn’t hide the moans. She was already really aroused or it would have not fit. She plateaued for a long time and didn’t have a big orgasm.

The next day, I couldn’t help it. We were talking about our good time and I said, “you can’t tell me you didn’t like it with those pleasurable moans.” She just looked at me and said, “It felt really good.” Although, I know she will never ask for it herself because she is programmed to protect my ego. She did like the fact that I told her we have been married too long and I enjoyed seeing her gain a new pleasure.

In a good marriage, are there any negatives about keeping a big dildo as part of your novelty list?

PS. I will never believe a woman again when she says bigger is not more pleasurable. I think that it’s all relative too. I think if mine was that big, she would get used to it. It’s always about “just a little bigger” than you are used to.  In my opinion.  I’d love to hear your readers and your opinions.  Thanks.

Venice’s response:
What a great turn around for her! It still blows me away to know that there are couples who have been married for as long as you both have and still have trouble communicating.  I find it interesting women can talk to their friends about their sex lives, but have trouble talking to their significant other. Who else can a wife talk to about what she wants sexually than with her husband, and who else can a husband talk to than his wife?

To answer your question, “Are there any negatives about keeping a big dildo as part of your novelty list?” The answer is NO! Big dildo, small dildo, double headed dildo, vibrating dildo, glow in the dark dildo…collect the whole set! If you see something and you want to try it, tell your spouse. His/Her immediate response should be, “Hell yea! Let’s do it!” The fun is in proposing ideas to your partner, having it accepted, discovering the fun (and not so fun) adventures, and then talking about it afterwards.

I can see how you would think that her not asking for a big dildo is to protect your ego. But it seems to me that because of this session with that dildo, you both have gotten more comfortable with being vocal about what you want. It appears that your wife – a good wife – would only want to experiment with YOU. Years of staying in her sexual shell coupled with her dedication to you has led up to this build up, and it will only get better for the both of you. I think she is completely satisfied with you and only wants you as a sexual partner. Don’t ever feel that she would start getting used to the dildo (anatomically and as a sexual replacement).

As an example, imagine your wife loved the wedding ring you gave her the day you were married.  However, your rich neighbor’s wife has a much bigger ring.  Not just a little bit bigger, but so much bigger you both know you could never had a ring that big.  One day the neighbor comes over and brags about how good her ring is and how great it feels on her finger.  She even goes as far as asking your wife, “Hey, would you like to try to wear my ring for a day just to see how it feels?   Girl, you will get so many compliments and will feel like such a woman!”  Now, would some women jump on that opportunity to just see what it’s like to wear this big ring?  Maybe, but not a good woman.  A real woman would probably feel disrespected at the suggesting that her ring, which she loves, isn’t good enough.  In fact, the idea of wearing another ring for a day would make her sick to her stomach.  It doesn’t matter how good it would feel on her ego, how many compliments, or how much the neighbor suggests she would feel like the ultimate woman, it is not hers.  This is the key here.  It is not hers.

Now if you helped convince your wife that your neighbor was right, you should try the ring out because you only live once, and even though you can’t give her that feeling of having a ring that large, why not live a little and wear it out for a day.  I mean, you are such a giver that you insist that she needs the experience of having a bigger ring on her finger for a day.  Even though you could never buy it for it, why not just let her feel how lucky she would be if she could have a large ring.  If that was your intentions, I think that’s just silly.  Having a large penis (or ring) that isn’t ours is not something we need in our lives.  It’s not something we have to experience, just because you think we are missing out.  If that was the case, rather than buying me a large dildo, how about you get a better job and take me around the world, because truthfully, I’d rather experience that in my lifetime than having some large rubber dildo shoved up my vagina.   Having a large penis may be something you want to experience, to see how we react to a large penis, but its so low on our list of important things in our lives that your wife probably did it just to make you happy.

A woman will never really love something that isn’t hers.  She is proud of what she has, proud of what she fell in love with.  We are proud women, and our love makes our men the best.  Looks, penis, bodies, and personality.  Every woman thinks she has the best catch of a man ever, when they are truly in love.

A woman no longer in love, who knows what they think.  Love is powerful.  Love can kill, create, connect, make miracles, and keep two people together for their entire lives.

Do you really think because she enjoyed a bigger dildo that all women think bigger is better? Do men really think women are that narrow-minded and dense that just because something is bigger and stretches us more, and gives our bodies a different feeling, that it’s better?  Even if there is no emotional attachment? Sex is good BECAUSE of the emotional attachment: the man who loves her and would die for her, the man who is open to do anything she wants sexually, the man who doesn’t judge her, the man who has been married to her for almost 20 years – THAT is the attachment that makes your dick so good.  Do not ask her to open her mind, then behind her back judge her.  That’s probably what she feared to begin with.

Ryan’s response:
I don’t think there are any negatives to you keeping a larger dildo if it’s what you and your wife enjoy.  Toys, regardless of size, is not cheating or your wife wanting other men.  It’s just an object used to stimulate the body, the same as if a man uses a fleshlight.  I do not feel like a man owning a fleshlight is cheating, or him wanting to feel another vagina.  I don’t care how tight the fleshlight is, it’s still just a piece of rubber that stimulates the body and creates the friction needed to help with orgasms.

As far as size being relative, I agree.  If I was much smaller, I think my wife would enjoy my size.  If I was much larger, I think my wife would enjoy my size.  In fact, no matter what my size I am positive my wife would love it and say it’s absolutely perfect.  It’s not the size, it’s the emotional attachment.  If my dick was bigger and it created more stretching and pain, she’d embrace the pain because it’s attached to the man she loves.  Does that mean she always wanted a bigger dick? Absolutely not.  In fact, I am 100% positive that if my dick was 12 inches long and as thick as a coke can my wife would love to grab it and share it with the world.  She would love to fuck it…for a while.  After years, if she could somehow get me half the size, when her hormones aren’t as raging and she just wants to enjoy being intimate without feeling like her body is being fucked by a telephone pole, she would enjoy the smaller sensation much better.  Why?  Because it’s going to be much more comfortable.  Men want to hurt women, women just want to enjoy themselves and the sensation.  Men want to make women scream, women want to not feel their lips and flesh being ripped to shreds as they get fucked all night.  Men want to be able to pull down their pants and hold this huge massive cock in front of their wives and watch them drool over the sight of it.  Women just want to watch The Walking Dead without their husbands standing in front of them holding their cocks.

If a woman is in love, truly in love, your size will be everything she will ever want. However, if you spend months hinting that you bet she would physically like a bigger size, it is possible she may like a bigger size.  That has nothing to do with her lying or needing a bigger size, that has more to do with you wanting to introduce her to a bigger size and the sensation that you cannot give her.

For instance, if I had a pie that I absolutely loved.  I don’t care what is on the menu anywhere in the world, if I could just get a slice of that pie that I loved I would be happy.  I don’t care if it’s warm or cold, I just love everything about it.  In fact, I have an emotional attachment to the pie because it reminds me of so many good times.  When I was down and rock bottom, I would eat that pie and it always made me feel better. When I was broke and didn’t have much to eat, just one piece of that pie felt like Thanksgiving dinner to me.   It’s my favorite.  If you were to offer me anything else, regardless of what it was, I’d decline because I have my own preference.

Now, let’s say you keep asking me over and over to try a different pie and I start to feel pressured.  Although I love you and give you the benefit of the doubt that you aren’t pressuring me to prove something to yourself, but you just sincerely want me to enjoy more than one type of pie. You don’t want to prove that the other pie is better, or my pie really isn’t that good, but you just want me to enjoy a new flavor and it makes you happy (turns you on).   Yea, why not.  If it makes you happy, maybe I will try it.

Oh God, this new pie is amazing!  You know what, you were right, I love this new pie.  In fact, I would like to start eating this pie much more because it tasted so good.  It’s good to have variety, and it seems to make you happy (turns you on)  I am eating it. 

Now, with all that being said, do you honestly think that this new pie is more pleasurable?  Do you really think it tastes better because she liked it?  Will you really never believe a woman again when she tells you that her favorite pie is pumpkin, because, if she was to try a pecan pie and enjoy it, it means the pecan pie tasted better all along?  Does that mean pecan pie is more  pleasurable?

I think that is absolutely ridiculous.  Do I think if I was bigger Venice would adapt to my larger penis and love it just as much?  For sure.  I think love creates an emotional attachment for Venice and my body, so no matter what I use to penetrate her, it will always be more pleasurable than what any other man in the world can give her.  I do not care how big another man is, without the emotional attachment, my wife would never be totally satisfied.  My dick, hands down, is the greatest dick on earth.  Maybe some women would disagree, but I wouldn’t have married those women.

Not to mention, you admit that she didn’t orgasm with the larger dildo, yet she does with your penis.  I’m really unsure what exactly you are trying to do to yourself.  It seems like you enjoy self-loathing.  You may also have a cuckold fetish that you haven’t explored yet.  I don’t say that because you want to fuck your wife with a larger dildo, rather I say it because you seemed to want to prove to yourself that your wife likes bigger dicks.  It’s unfortunate that you did so by manipulating her into thinking it was just something she could enjoy that is different, not something you will use as an experiment to judge all women and what they really like, creating a theory about all women enjoy larger cocks. Women aren’t as dumb as you seem to think, and they do have minds and preferences.   If a woman says she enjoys an average sized dick, I will continue to take her word for it.

32 thoughts on “Q&A: Opinions On Buying A Huge Dildo For My Wife?

  1. His question seemed sincere I suppose. Sometimes men can be shallow as hell though. His need to see his wife fuck a larger cock ends up being some sort of twisted way to suggest all women like bigger dicks.

    I don’t know about that, but after reading his question I have decided that all men want to see their wives get fucked by much bigger cocks than they could ever give them.

    • I think it’s more of an answer some men seek when they have an average or even above average and or below average size, and told by their woman that size does not matter and read about it at points. Therefore they use the larger one just to see if the reaction is difference or more intense and then they see the results and tend to question what else has she not been completely honest about.

      It’s all in good intentions that women don’t want to crush their mates ego, therefore they find that the little white lie about that is okay. Respectfully I see their point, just like a man don’t want to tell their lady if they feel they are loose or unsatisfying in bed.

  2. I wouldn’t mind if my husband gave me a larger dildo to play with. He’d be right if he figured out I enjoyed bigger.

    But that’s just me though!

    • hi I am only about 5 inches on hard, I never hear my wife make a noise, not even a little, I have woke up and heard her playing with her self no doubt thinking about someone. I don’t say anything it makes me hard, I will wake her up but she says she is tired and so I want to please her, she thinks if we use a dildo she is saying a bad thing against me, but I want to hear her scream and moan and cum, so how do I convence her I want this to help our sex life oand that I won’t be mad.

  3. My Husband bought mea large dildo which he introduced in the bedroom during an oral session. I found it quite exciting and very satisfying and we now use it as a regular part of our lovemaking

  4. I am the person that posted the original question, and one of the mods asked me if I could reply.

    First, I want to apologize for the over-generalization that all women want bigger. That’s usually not my type of statement.

    Second – I was not self-loathing, manipulating, etc. But there have been some good points mentioned to make sure I am not perceived that way. I definitely don’t have a cuckold fetish but have fantasized about swinging before probably because one of the few fantasies she has ever told me was about swinging (fantasy only).

    My wife doesn’t talk to girlfriends about sex either. Seriously. She is an engineer and keeps things away from intimate subjects like that. If not to protect my ego about the dildo, it would probably be to protect her image of “not being into stuff like that.” It’s all relative to her own beliefs I guess. We accidentally fell into liking erotic lactation and did it quite often when she had milk. Although some would put that as more taboo than anal or swallowing.

    Both the wedding ring analogy and the pie analogy were awesome. We were high school sweethearts and she always enjoyed me leading sexually. I taught her how to give herself an orgasm and convinced her masturbation was ok. The past few years I have purposely given her space to develop sexually on her own though. I do think some men do have a “morbid curiosity” about the monster dick and if their wife would like it. Being that my wife is an engineer, she is very matter of fact in a naïve way. After that birthday night and discussing the big dildo, she said, “well of course I liked it, it was novelty, but I wouldn’t want it often because it made me so sore.” In all this, I am not talking about her love for me or wanting to marry a guy with a big dick, I am strictly talking in a more matter of fact way myself.

    In my opinion – No she doesn’t need a big dick now…want to be with someone else, etc. But she does now appreciate why someone would say a big dick can be very arousing. The original reason I bought it was because again, she said, “yes, that would be interesting novelty to try maybe one day.” This was also when she discovered shockingly how much she liked the “stretch.” FWIW – she said being stretched and kind of pulled inside out was what felt so good. My wife can be so matter of fact because of her social awkwardness, I could even see her say one day, “well, for strictly physical pleasure, bigger seems better.” Even if she did, I would be ok with that.

    The example about finding a better job and making more money over a big dildo is a great example to carry into many aspects of intimacy. Thanks.

    I will try to conclude –

    Sometimes (and I have told her this), I reach for kinky novelty because it makes me feel close to her. She is not good with emotional intimacy, and ironically, as a man, I am. When our emotional intimacy is better, it seems I get less kinky. I used to have fears about her naivety. She never reads or discussed sex. When we were young she saw her first porn and thought I must be small..lol…and she must be boring. Ten years ago I would have thought this same naivety would carry with the big dildo – “wow, bigger is better, and maybe that’s why my libido is so low because my husband isn’t big enough.” (I’m 7”x5.5” FWIW). I don’t think that now. And I also have much greater empathy for what women have to experience most of their life with us guys looking at big tits and pornstars.

    So I can honestly say this was not about insecurity, but more about something shallower – human physiology and psychology at a primal level. The reason I originally asked the question was more about how she expects me to lead in this area. And if later she got so used to enjoying the big dildo that she got mad at me for making our regular sex less gratifying. Something along those lines.

    From what I am hearing, the answer is no.

    Thanks

    PS. Another reason I liked the pie example and how if you force it enough, they do like the other pie better (basically) – In my early years, this is what happened when I forced porn at her. She never really got into porn but it did other damage early in our marriage. In fact, one reason she was hesitant to use toys later is because she associated it with porn.

    • Thanks for responding Craig!

      There is nothing wrong with being curious or wanting to see how she reacts to other sexual stimuli. Whether it be porn, a larger penis (dildo), or whatever else it is you want to experiment with. I am the same way. I have also put on a huge extension and done the same thing, just to see Venice cry and scream trying to escape my thrusts. Did she like it? She hated it with a passion. Maybe because she knew it wasn’t real, or it was just some rubber around my penis making it even larger and totally uncomfortable. However, she was open minded and tried it. That’s what I love about her. If she enjoyed it, I would think, like you, “see larger can be fun” because she always calls me “perfect for her body.” I don’t disagree with any of what you’ve done or what you did in your relationship. I think the only real problem I had was you suggesting that you would never believe another woman again when she says larger isn’t more pleasurable. I just found that to almost seem like you are outright saying that your wife thinks a larger penis is more enjoyable than your own. I don’t think women place that value on the physical aspect of size over the emotional aspect. I think a woman can have any man they want in bed just by going on some random date site and fucking 100s of guys. They choose to find one man and make love to him. It’s why dating sites are filled with men, not women. The value of size is something men are into moreso than women. Not saying all women prefer their average sized husbands over some large cocks, but I would never not believe a woman who really does just want an average sized dick and a great man.

    • I would really appreciate your opinion, I found this blog while looking for help. My situation is similar to Craig’s. Been married ten years but exclusive with my wife for 20 (since high school). She is reserved and doesnt like to talk about Sex. I have found that she enjoys more fingers and a “stretch” of her lips. I tried to bring in dildos before but she says “why use those when I can have the real thing?” I suggested in order to try a bigger size and she said “you are the perfect size”. Here is the problem. She always made fun of porn so it has not been used between us. I found that she has been watching it by herself. And she searches google for “guys with enormous cocks f****ing girl”. And ” two guys and a girl”. Many of them that she viewed were interracial as well. I thought about using a large dildo on her while she does oral on me to try and give her her fantasy. Should I try it without discussion or talk about it first? Should I confront her about the secret porn use, and if so before or after trying a dildo? I dont mind giving her any play she desires, but her secret use has me worried that she desires a bigger penis ( mine is average length of six inches and a little thicker than average) and that combined with her “real thing” versus dildo comment means she will go behind my back with another man. Please help!

  5. I just wanted to add that we used the Vixskin Collosus Extender. I told her I would have a surprise for her and we were at a hotel room. She had quite a few glasses of champagne and we were having a good time.

    I played with her from behind awhile until she was begging that I fuck her. I put on the extender and lubed it up. I rubbed the head of it on her clit and she couldn’t tell. She finally backed down on it. I made sure I used a few slow strokes but she just kept aggressively backing down on it.

    To my surprise, I actually came relatively quick (sometimes I have delayed ejaculation). I think it was the view but it also made it tight on my dick. She was really excited I came so quick and reached under to rub her clit. She then slowly got off and was confused….lol. I guess she was drunk enough to not know I had it on even though she was moaning in pleasure like I had never heard. We both laughed about it…but unfortunately she lost her mood.

    Recently I offered up the chance again and she didn’t debate like many times when I bring up a toy. She chose to get on top of me. It was a little hard to keep on in this way and the end of it was a little flimsy. However, the girth did alot for her and she came hard while also using a bullet vibe on her clit.

    BUT…she was disappointed I couldn’t cum with it this time so it might not be something she wants to use often since these days her satisfaction is based alot on my pleasure.

    Just wanted to give everyone an update. I told her how hot it is to see her with it inside her stretching her out. We both have had some fun with it…

    • I just googled a review on youtube and that thing is insanely large. That’s awesome you and your wife enjoyed it. I am glad you guys found something like that.

      We’ve done reviews and tried different toys in the past, but the extenders are probably the worst for me. I just can’t enjoy them. I think I like the idea of our skin touching and grinding against each other, which is what makes sex special for me. I do not get turned on at all with dildos, toys, or extenders. Although Ryan was a bit hard on the idea of you judging all women, he is very much like you in that he used to seem to enjoy seeing me stretched out beyond my limits. I just really hate it. Doesn’t feel sexy or good to me, and I think I have a pretty open mind. Anyway, I’m glad you came back to update us!

      • Venice,

        I thought I would add something in conclusion especially if men think they should go out and buy this thing. Definitely not.

        First, my wife has had 3 babies. So that might be the reason for handling more.

        Also — We haven’t really used it much (in total maybe 3 or 4 times?). My wife has to be really turned on to enjoy it, and is also really sore after using it.

        But this is the important thing —- If I wasn’t turned on by using it on her, she would not be turned on by it. A big part of the turn on for her is me being turned on by it.

        I also know that with novelty, things have faded. I wouldn’t be surprised if in the future she is not really interested at all in this toy.

        Lastly – another main reason she doesn’t really ask or agree to use the toy much is because of what you basically stated…She really wants the feeling of me inside her…and me cumming inside her.

  6. BTW – she did tell me she feels almost a little guilty because the thing feels so real. I would hope so for $100+ 🙂

    • I would really appreciate your opinion, I found this blog while looking for help. My situation is similar to Craig’s. Been married ten years but exclusive with my wife for 20 (since high school). She is reserved and doesnt like to talk about Sex. I have found that she enjoys more fingers and a “stretch” of her lips. I tried to bring in dildos before but she says “why use those when I can have the real thing?” I suggested in order to try a bigger size and she said “you are the perfect size”. Here is the problem. She always made fun of porn so it has not been used between us. I found that she has been watching it by herself. And she searches google for “guys with enormous cocks f****ing girl”. And ” two guys and a girl”. Many of them that she viewed were interracial as well. I thought about using a large dildo on her while she does oral on me to try and give her her fantasy. Should I try it without discussion or talk about it first? Should I confront her about the secret porn use, and if so before or after trying a dildo? I dont mind giving her any play she desires, but her secret use has me worried that she desires a bigger penis ( mine is average length of six inches and a little thicker than average) and that combined with her “real thing” versus dildo comment means she will go behind my back with another man. Please help!

      • Hey redhawk, to get more opinions you could try reddit.com/r/sex It has a pretty positive crowd, with a lot more opinions than just ours.

        However, to answer your question, I’d openly communicate with your wife that you’ve seen her searches. Although I’m sure she will be embarrassed, I believe in an open door policy in a relationship. No secrets. If it’s embarrassing, oh well, then either Ryan and I need to be embarrassed, but we will talk about our thoughts and desires. I can’t really answer beyond that because I do not know why she was searching. If she was horny one night and was curious, or she always thinks about it and just can’t get enough of it. I’ve searched many things that once I saw it, I realized it wasn’t something I ever wanted to do. I have also searched for gay porn and love watching two men have sex, but I’d absolutely hate for Ryan to ever do that. It would turn me off to see him in that light. That’s what porn is for! So I can watch things I am not interested in experiencing.

        Until you communicate, you won’t know.

        • Venice, thanks for your reply. you are right, communication is essential. I plan to bring it up, but need a few days to process my feelings. I also want to check the history later to see if it is a pattern. The worst thing is that I dont feel I can trust her. You see a few years ago I came across an email of her sending pics I took of her to her boss at his request. I still have no clue if she was cheating with him. When I openly asked her about it she denied it until I laid a print out of the email in front of her. She still denied it and later said she was afraid she would loose her job if she didnt go along or reported him to the company. She said nothing ever happened. I decided to trust her. I recently found nice selfies of her that she never shared with me. I found these when she asked me to upload her phone pics to make room for new ones on a vacation. I found she had a instagram account with a name i didnt know about. So I checked her phone this weekend and saw another pic (in a towel not nude) of her fresh out of the shower and looking seductively into the camera. That was when I found the internet search. So hopefully you understand why I may not be able to trust anything she says and feel compulsed to gather as much info before communicating. Anymore input is appreciated! I like your couples blog very much by the way!
          Thanks again!

          • Yes, I see why you are having trust issues. Definitely look into the reason for her random selfies, if she isn’t sending them to you.

  7. Redhawk,

    I would do what Venice said and head to Reddit. Your issue seems more complex.

    I will say that the porn thing is probably as Venice mentioned. In general, she may be looking for novelty or passion, and using big cock porn to seek it artificially.

  8. Hello.. I have been married for 25 years to a very beautiful woman.. We have never had sexual issues, she has vaginal Orgasms all the time.. which by the way I have read is rare. but she will orgasm as I am sliding in.. and I am NOT huge.. 7″ by 6″ which from what I had read is average.. anyways.. personally I wouldn’t want to get a dildo ALOT bigger than ME.. why?.. because said dildo will make her crazy and when she wants the REAL THING it cant match up.. and I believe THAT will cause frustration.. That is why after some research. I purchased a penis pump..This thing is AMAZING..the first few times I used it. it was a little awkward.. getting used to it. but after I figured out the perfect pump, this thing made my dick a bit longer BUT it came out FAT.. like silver dollar FAT.. my wife about lost her mind.. I counted 10 orgasms REALLY.. NO LIE..and the beautiful thing is its ALL ME.. NO FAKE RUBBER..we dont use it all the time because it makes her sore for a couple days.. so about once a week.. I pump for a half hour while she takes a bath.. and ITS ON..hahahahahahahahha.. she’s 49 and after 2 kids. I understand that the vagina can get a little looser.. its not her fault nor any womans fault.. its called getting older..and my wife is like HER.. she does NOT like to talk about stuff.. she’s says just do it dont talk about it..LOL.. I find that funny as hell seeing that she loses her mind but doesn’t want to talk about it..anyways guys.. IF your entertaining the thought of a bigger FAKE cock.. dont do it.. get one of those penis pump things.. that way its YOU.. ALL YOU.. and she will LOVE IT….

  9. I feel like I should add to my own post. As a small update – she probably likes to experience the big extension once every two months. Although most of it is to see me get turned on. I kind of made the mistake and told her, “it makes you feel so tight inside” (haha), so she kinda thought I had other motives.

    But all is good, and she still prefers my 7″ x 5.5″ member. She also loves giving head and would be pissed if I tried to make my dick thicker with a Bathmate. I should conclude by saying that I hope one day she will want to try anal again, and if I got any bigger that would lessen my chances.

    PS. It still doesn’t mean she doesn’t like the “mental” novelty of the extension once in awhile. And at 44, my stance is I love to watch my wife in pleasure (not insecurity). Kind of like what swingers call “compersion.” — This is a interesting framing of a word.

      • Maybe the first couple times it made her cum hard. Harder or the hardest? Probably not. I should also mention there have been times she just says it hurts and doesn’t want it.

        Honestly, she probably would want me to go in 3-4 inches and stay there while I rubbed her clit. And her biggest orgasm has been with using the Hitachi and me fingering her gspot with 3 fingers.

        All in all the sheath is brain novelty to her and it gives her a stretch she likes. I can’t imagine a younger woman that has never had kids take this thing. Part of the brain fuck so to speak is us talking dirty with it like me saying “take my big cock””….her, “give me that big cock”, etc. It turns me on as much as her.

        Last thing, and this is important — most of the time she tells me to take it off because she wants to feel my cock and me cumming.

        • This sounds about right. As a novelty an extender is neat, the same as it’s neat to skydive once. But women want the real thing. If we are in love, we want to feel his skin, his dick, and his body. The idea of needing this huge size, or huge dildo really is something men created, not women. It hurts and it isn’t fun. The only way I would like a huge 12 inch coke can cock, is if it was real, on a guy I really liked, and I was extremely freaking lubricated.

    • I am not interested in Ryan being any bigger either. I get the whole guy thing where they want to be huge (for photos or dick pics I guess???), but sex really is borderline abusive to our vaginas, and I enjoy the size he has. Even now, it really is borderline painful at times. I really am not into getting torn up or hurt just because he wants to be thicker or longer.

      So I told Ryan no on pumps, extenders, and all that other stuff guys like to get into.

      • Well, I have been reading your blog and enjoy it often…congrats to both of you! I did speak woth my wife, who claims she took the selfies to send to me but chickened out. I am sure she is lying as one ended up on instagram(not nude though!). She will not speak on the porn issue at all. Obviously this is affecting our relationship. However with three kids I am hanging in there with her, if she is not faithful It will come out eventually I am sure. Micheals reply got me thinking so I ordered one to try. It was the hydromax X30(a newer version of the bathmate). I did not tell her. researched it: if you use one be careful and start off slow and work your way up so that you dont damage your penis! I used it three nights in a row, having sex with her about an hour after using it the third night. She had a more powerful orgasm than usual and the next night she actually said she ripped down there(which hasn’t happened in a long time) but she said she enjoyed it. Now as to the effects being permanent, I doubt it. But it does give a temporary boost…about a half inch to 3/4 of an inch in girth. Probably more fun than the extender.

  10. Just found fuckblogging.com. Thanks for inviting my comments.
    HUGE DILDO FOR WIFE: My wife and I are 3rd-timers; Both have 2-failed marriages. We married in 1998. Before marriage, we revealed that we both are highly motivated for lots of erotic sex. Seemed we were well matched. I told her I wanted a woman with a past and she told me she had never had all the sex she wanted. Now, HUGE DILDO: In recounting our past sex histories, I asked had she ever had sex with a VERY Large penis. She said yes, and exuded her excitement and erotic ecstasy. Her few comments had an extreme erotic effect for me. She also told me she had a sexual experience with a female cousin and said it was very exciting and pleasurable.
    TIME MOVED ON. She had told me about a sexual experience with her female cousin and said it had been erotically exciting and pleasurable. Our marriage was in its 3rd or 4th year and she became attracted to a female flirtatious colleague. I assured her I was okay with it (I’m a professionally trained psychotherapist and believe we need to act on our needs rather than suppress them). Their relationship remained erotically flirtatious but never attained the erotic pleasures sought by my wife; a very difficult breakup followed and I began detecting her bitter inhibition. Our sex life was in nosedive and hasn’t fully recovered. REMEDY, failed. I remembered the excitement she felt when telling me about fucking the guy with his very big dick. I had found early after marriage that she enjoys ‘dirty stories’ as prelude to foreplay. (My penis is a bit shy of 6-in and shy of 5-in in girth.) Past times, any time I mentioned ‘big dick’ she responded favorably. Dirty stories had lost their magic, and ‘big dicks’ had little affect. So, I just recently purchased an inflatable dildo. She seems to be on the road to recovery.

  11. I use toys on my gf she didn’t even know,how,big she takes them. I started with an 8×8 sleeve. Then went up from there 2 weeks ago I fucked her with a 12 in round and 7 long sleeve she took it but this one took a bit lol. She exploded and turned into a dirty slut and wanted more.

  12. Again, I used the sheath on our anniversary. I had her tied up on her stomach. We still use it rarely.

    I was excited because she actually came from penetration only (also very rare). For some reason when I am behind her, I can never accomplish that.

    I thrusted really shallow and the big head on the sheath ran across her gspot. I was rubbing her asshole with my thumb and she told me to keep rubbing until she came. So I would chalk this up to the sheath making this happen.

    It was fun to me and another notch to increasing intimacy.

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