Random Moments: Top 10 Best Horror Movies Ever

My top 10 horror movies!  Grab your popcorn and your tablet, it’s about to be on!

After each selection, Ryan gives his two cents on whether he agrees or not.  If he doesn’t agree, you can pretty much you can ignore that part!  🙂

10) Jeepers Creepers
After I saw this movie, I started believing in the horror genre again. There was something very frustrating going on throughout the movie: dying cell phones, uncooperative small town diner folk, creepy cat lady. All these trite goings-on leading up to what should probably be a showdown between good and evil. Wrong. When Darry falls down storm pipe leading to an unknown hole, we are relieved to know that he’d landed unharmed. But as he the camera pans up and around the catacomb, we see the terrifying place as he gently dusts himself off. And it’s only more disturbing when he encounters a young man, bound, but still alive and staring at him with fear in his eyes. This was the last movie I watched before I went to Field Training the next day.

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Ryan’s two cents: Scary, frustrating, entertaining, nail biting, and more.  And I fucking hate scary movies.

9) Dead Silence
Adding ventriloquist dummies to your movie is a perfect way to get a cheap scare, but one with a story line is priceless. This movie has both the story line and the jump scare to scar me for life. Therefore, I can only watch this during the day. Under a blanket. With the volume on low. And with the TV off.

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Ryan’s two cents: Nessa knows her horror movies so I won’t doubt her here.  Apparently I was so scared I fainted (or fell asleep) during this movie.  Or I was drunk.  Or I didn’t pay attention because I was too busy sending selfies of my cock to random girls on twitter that I wanted to impress.  Whatever, tomato tamato. 

8) 28 Days Later
This movie, along with The Walking Dead pilot, has produced an irrational fear that I will fall into a coma and awaken in the midst of a zombie apocalypse. I would hate to wake up to sprinting zombies that can infect you in literally seconds. Yes, I know that the 28 Days infected are technically not zombies, but that’s not the point. I can’t outrun these fuckers because of my plantar fasciitis. I’m made for farming and gathering, not playing “stick and move” with the zombies.

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Ryan’s two cents: If The Walking Dead wasn’t full of pansies and pussies, they’d call it 28 Days Later.

7) Final Destination
Can you REALLY escape death when it comes for you? This was the first of its kind to address it. When I was a kid I dreamt that I was shot at while driving a van and was killed. I even felt bits of my own teeth in my mouth when I was shot in the face. Then I slumped over the steering wheel and died. Aren’t you supposed to wake up in your dream before you die otherwise you die in real life? I think I have legitimately cheated death.

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Ryan’s two cents: Not scary to me but definitely made me start looking around my living room for moving toasters next to large bodies of water. Although it was part 2, I absolutely cannot drive behind any truck carrying logs.  If you do not know why, go watch this movie and then part 2.  

6) Cube
Remember Blockbuster? If not, it was a video store that has since closed its stores (in our city, at least) because of Red Box, Netflix, and the like. While they were still around, they would occasionally have super terrific sales, like 3 VHS tapes for $5. A pretty good deal because we were in college and didn’t have a whole lot of money to go to the movie theaters. One day I saw a movie called “Cube,” which, I had seen before and absolutely loved.  I already had 2 movies and unfortunately Ryan wanted some stupid movie like “National Lampoon’s Who Really Gives A Fuck” that he just had to have. “I’ll be back in a few days,” I promised myself. And I did go back, but by then, it was gone. I searched every bin, every day until the sale was over. I looked on ebay, Amazon…NOTHING! Eventually, years later, I did find it.  Today, when I obsess over something, Ryan will say, “Stop your Cubing.”

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Ryan’s two cents: Not really  a scary movie but it does have a good story line. It’s one of those suspenseful “guess the ending if you can” movies.  I learned one thing about Nessa because of this movie…she has to get what she wants.  Once she finally got the movie, she made us watch it before bed almost every night for 2 years.   And no, I’m not joking.

5) The Shining
Probably Stanley Kubrick’s best movie, but I ruined it by reading the book. I once went to a sleepover in high school where we all had to bring in a movie to watch. I, of course, brought this movie, much to everyone’s fear and disappointment. “Don’t worry,” I told them. “It’s not scary if you watch it on mute.” So we did. It wasn’t as fun and we ended up playing poker with Oreos, Chips Ahoy, and Nilla Wafers as currency instead.

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Ryan’s two cents: Not much else to say about this movies that hasn’t already been said.  A cult classic and definitely scary.  A lot of movies after it have tried to capture the same feeling this gave you when you first watched it.  Like with almost every scary movie I have ever seen, I watched it because Nessa made me.

4) In the Mouth of Madness
A severely underrated film about a horror story within a horror story. I was too engrossed with seeing a monster-woman crawl on all fours with a distorted head to fully appreciate that gist of the story. Or maybe it was the old man riding on a bicycle in the middle of the road. Or maybe it was the evil entity that was literally coming out of the pages of the book. It wasn’t until years later that I realized the movie was actually the book that the characters were reading in the book. Mind. Blown. When I watched this in the theater I remember asking myself, “Am I in Sutter Cane’s movie?!? Am I going to go mad?” I was so naive.

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Ryan’s two cents: Such an underrated movie that I don’t even remember it.

3) Pet Sematary
When this movie came out, I had to sneak into the movie theaters to watch it. What can I say, I was a rebel. I also read the book twice when I was 11. There is a part in the book where it’s implied that Mrs. Creed gives Mr. Creed a hand job in the tub. “Where’d you learn how to do that?” he asked his wife. “Girl Scouts,” she tells him. What? That’s it. No other description. I honest to goodness thought it was something she learned in the Girl Scouts. I bet she got a Survival Skills badge.

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Ryan’s two cents: When I met Nessa this was one of her favorite scary movies.  I remember watching this as a kid with my dad, but all he watched was sci-fi and scary movies, so all the plots and story lines I had ever seen were meshed together in my head.  I watched it again with Nessa and although it was scary, I was more disturbed by the child being ran over and killed. For some reason, the pain of losing a child because of a speeding semi truck bothered me more than anything else.  I would also doing everything in my power to bring him back to life, so this movie made a lot of sense to me.  I would have done the same thing, and then I would have killed that little evil fucker when I saw his eyes were a different color. Sorry, we all know what it means when dead people’s eyes don’t look the same when they come back to life.  No second chances there.

2) Phantasm
This was my first encounter with the undead and would quickly become the gateway movie to my love of zombie movies. I’d already been creeped out by funerals, hearses, mausoleums, and the like before watching this movie. In Phantasm, I remember when the Tall Man’s fingers got cut off and thinking, “Is that what people’s insides turn into when they die?” Many years later, I met Reggie (played by Reggie Bannister) at the Comic Con. The line to speak to Reggie was very short…to my unexpected surprise! I asked to take a picture with him and inquired when the next Phantasm would be released. He was very excited to announce that it would be released soon. And so was I! Straight to video. “Boyyyyyy!” -The Tall Man

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Ryan’s two cents: I watched it for about as long as the line to see Reggie was when Nessa went to the Comic Con.  Good music (loop) that has probably been sampled by every hip hop producer since, horrible pointless running scenes every 5 minutes, and the worst acting ever.   Definitely belongs somewhere in the top 10.

1) The Blair Witch Project
When Ryan and I first saw this, we’d rented it and watched it at night. We also had a newborn at the time. BWP was a very slow-paced movie, so for the first half of the movie I wasn’t too scared, but by the end I was terrified. But of what? Who the hell knows! They never showed the witch! I lay in bed with my back butted up against Ryan’s body. I was too scared to move. I thought about the end scene with Mike standing in the corner. Oh God! What if he’s in our room?!?! Then, the baby started crying. It was time for her bottle. I nudge Ryan and ask if he can warm one for her. “No, wtf. I was already asleep!” I got up and stumbled around the room, my heart racing hoping there wasn’t someone standing in the corner. Of course there wasn’t. Ten years later, I remind Ryan about that night. “I wasn’t asleep, V. I was just too scared to get up.” ASS!

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Ryan’s two cents: You have to really know the history of this movie to really appreciate it.  Should it be number 1 on any list? I don’t think so.  However, as the internet was getting extremely popular, the producers used that medium to release small clips of news broadcasts talking about missing students and tapes being found.  No one at the time knew if it was a hoax.  None of the actors were known, and at the time, you felt as though you were watching real clips from some crazy school project where everyone dies and it happened to be captured on film.  This was the original paranormal activity, except no one really knew it was just a movie.  For those reasons alone, this probably was my number 1 experience with a scary movie.  It felt so real.

I am not the biggest fan of horror flicks but I will throw a few titles out that have always scared me:

Texas Chainsaw Massacre (the original), Poltergeist, Cujo, The Ring, Night Of The Living Dead, Stepford Wives (the original), Screamers, and Deliverance.    There is another one about some sort of zombies that start in a movie theater, I think phantom of the opera was playing.  It scared me to death as a kid but I don’t remember the name.

If I missed any movies you feel should be on the list, please comment below.

TAGS: Top 10 Best Horror Movies Ever, scariest movies ever made, scary movies, worst horror movies, movies that scare you to death, the worst movies ever

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