The Five-Second Kiss Rule #AdultSexEdMonth

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It seems that the longer a couple has been together, the more difficult it becomes to be affectionate with each other. Complacency, habit, and just plain being “used to each other” can get in the way of the need to remind the other about their commitments. The time they set aside for one another can easily become routine or mundane if they’re not consistent, so every couple should create their own ways of ensuring their love still burns in them, even if it only flickers.

Ryan and I are of the opinion that a happy couple should have sex every day of their lives, and both partners should remind themselves in their own heads, why they love their partner. A good relationship is hard work. If it seems easy, more than likely you are missing something. With everything you do well, whether it be your health, your hobbies, and even your job, the more you do certain tasks, the better you get. For instance, the more you go to the gym and exercise, the stronger and healthier you look. It’s hard work being fit and healthy. Well, a healthy relationship is the same. Finding time to be intimate, make love, and make your partner feel special should be a daily activity. Yes, even kissing.

Don’t misunderstand me though, I do not mean have sex just to have sex, or kiss just to kiss. A couple must practice intimacy and positive thinking. It’s not just a cliche message to think positive, it’s the reality of a strong relationship. If you kiss, hug, or make love to your spouse, as much as you moan or purr in your partners arms, you must purr to yourself as well. Make it a mental exercise to tell yourself how lucky you are to have your partner. If you show enthusiasm, show enthusiasm because it makes it exciting and fun for you, not just for your other half. Fake intimacy or sex done out of obligation is worse than no sex at all, for both of you — resentment resentment. A man or woman should look into their own minds and figure out why it’s important to not only have sex, but to love the sex each time you are with your partner. Enthusiasm, wanting each other, loving each others’ touch, and feeling each others’ bodies rub and create the friction we read about in romance novels.

The above is a good example of why couples need to abide by the five-second kiss rule. Not just with your lips touching, but with your hands touching each others faces, cheek smelling, and yes, a little tongue, at least once a day. This may sound like a silly robotic act, but a routine isn’t always bad thing. It’s a bad routine if you are ignoring your partner’s needs each day, and it quickly turns into a lifestyle. The opposite is also true. It’s a good routine if you are purposely being intimate with your spouse each day, it too will eventually become your lifestyle. If you prepare yourself for any major event in your life, whether it be a test, fight, sports match, or a marathon, usually you will plan a routine and follow rules to reach your maximum potential prior to the event. In this case, it’s the most important event of your life, your happily ever after. For us, there is nothing more accepting than kissing each other and holding our mouths together to see how the other responds. Ryan has told me that since we’ve been together, that if he has ever even slightly opened his lips while kissing, I’ve always let my tongue slide inside his mouth. Not aggressively or quick, but just the tip of my tongue to feel for his tongue. It is something I never really noticed, but it’s almost like an antennae. It’s instinct for me to reach out with one of the most sensitive organs in my body and feel to see if he is receptive. As interesting as that idea is, that also makes oral sex extremely intimate when put into this perspective (I love nothing more than feeling the tastes, shapes, and textures of my man’s penis and balls on my tongue – his most private possessions).  Ryan also noticed that I will wait for him to open his mouth before I initiate tongue play. It’s a team game, and you both do things you may not even notice, but if the love is present, it works. Of course, if we weren’t in love, we wouldn’t want to even kiss, let alone open our mouths and have the other stick their tongue in.

We don’t do this just for the pleasure of kissing, or even the possibility of sex to follow, it’s for the attachment we feel each day to the person we decided to spend the rest of our lives with. Our mouths are the dirtiest parts of our body, and although kissing is done in public and isn’t seen as a “dirty act“, the truth is, sticking your wet organ/tongue in another person’s wet body/mouth, swapping saliva and juices, and feeling each other’s lips is just as intimate as sex itself. Sex is taboo and private, which created a stigma with the act. Everyone wants to do what we can’t do, so sex became this important mountain in our relationships. In fact, some couples have built sex up so much that they (or their religion expects them to) wait until after marriage to enjoy each other sexually. However, kissing (being so close you almost breath the same air — as if you could save each other’s life with a sexual CPR) was acceptable. I’m not downplaying the importance of sex, but I am making a good argument for kissing being much more intimate and important than people think.  Under appreciated and neglected in aging relationships.  A physical connection and intimacy keeps your chemicals and hormones flowing, and if you follow your own guidelines to try your hardest to truly enjoy this physical time, you both will love each other more. No resentment for a man “wanting it too much” and no resentment from a woman “never giving me sex anymore.”

Kiss for 5 seconds everyday, or every time you say goodbye, or before you go to bed.  You won’t regret it.

Q&A: I hate swallowing my husband’s cum. Any tips on swallowing cum?

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Bitter cum face

Jasmine via the internet 

 Me and my husband have been married for over 5 years and until recently I never gave him any oral sex.  I’ve decided to change that.  I have been reading different blogs and websites, yours being one of them, and I am trying to open my mind and experience everything with my husband.   My only concern is, I have tried to swallow cum with my a previous boyfriend and I immediately threw up all over him.   I know that is bad, but it wasn’t just me spitting him out, I actually threw up from the taste of it, all over his lap.  After that episode I have maybe given a few more blow jobs but never let a guy finish in my mouth.   

Anyway, when I met my husband he told me from the beginning he just wants me happy.  I told him about my past, the good, the bad, and the embarrassing, and he immediately let me know that I would never have to do anything I was uncomfortable with.  Believe it or not, he has stuck to his words.  I’ve never felt any pressure from him about oral sex.  The few times  I came close to initiating, I got scared because too much time between us has passed and I feel embarrassed.  I also don’t know when to stop giving oral without hurting his feelings.   I do know that I want to give him oral sex because I love him more than anything in the world and he deserves it, but I know I will never be able to swallow his cum.   Do you guys have any suggestions? 

Nessa’s response: 

Thank you for your question. I commend your husband for respecting your wishes about not asking you to give him oral sex or swallow.  If the taste of semen makes you throw up, that is just awful.  I know that me swallowing has made me closer to Ryan.  I yield a certain dominance over him when I tell him that no one can have his cum but me, that he better not be wasting all that precious juice.  I even get pissed off at the idea of him jacking off and wasting my cum. I’ve turned my cum swallowing into a game, a game where I make all the rules.

Remember this: I know it’s not apple juice, it’s cum, I get it.  But the THOUGHT of it, what it represents to ME as Ryan’s wife, makes it the most delicious thing in the world.  If you have to train yourself to love it, then do so!  I hate to make this comparison, but it’s like smoking a cigarette for the first time: you try it because of peer pressure or you want to impress the other cool kids.  At first you don’t want to do it, but you push through it, even forcing yourself.  You start gagging and coughing.  It’s the worst feeling ever when it burns your throat.  But you see everyone doing it and you want to fit in.  So you smoke another one; same reaction. You repeat this process until finally one day, your body is used to it and needs it.  Now the cool kids are hanging around you all because you have this one thing in common.  Well, pretend your husband is the cool kid and you want to impress him.

Also, I commend you for trying to initiate.  It shows that you are willing to do it!  My suggestion would be to take baby steps.  If you do initiate oral sex, squeeze his penis hard after he has an erection for a few minutes and you will notice a clear sticky drop will appear around his urethra opening.  This is his froth.  This is the lubrication his body naturally provides to make sure his penis can penetrate the vagina.  I personally think froth is very sweet.   It has its own taste and texture.  I think that would be a better approach to having him shoot his load into your mouth.  Don’t take a whole load at once for the first time with your husband. Just a drop or two, or a small lick off his stomach.  Let it sit on your tongue for a moment.  You’ll realize it’s not disgusting and certainly not poison.

Remind yourself that this is your husband’s semen, the man that you love, the man who would do anything to protect you.  It’s been five years and he hasn’t even suggested you give him oral sex.  He sounds like one of the patient understanding ones.  Wait to see how patient and understanding he will be after you blow his socks off. Once you give him oral sex on a regular basis, and possibly even swallowing him, new doors will open and you will both benefit from your new-found sexuality. “I will never be able to swallow his cum.” Never say never.

Ryan’s response: 

First, thanks for reading our blog. I am glad you want to open up and try new things with your husband.  5 years is a bit long but it’s better than 10 years I suppose.

Oral sex does not have to involve any sort of “completion”.  Sometimes Nessa will give me oral sex just to get me erect and use her saliva to lubricate my penis for anal or vaginal intercourse.  Every morning Nessa wakes me up kissing on my neck, then under my arms, then each of my nipples, until finally she gets between my lap and will lick and suck on all of my sexual body parts.  Sometimes she will focus on my balls, other times she will lick and suck on my penis.  I never orgasm.   We both know our morning time is for intimacy and enjoying each other, not to get worked up and have orgasms.   It’s our way to show self control and appreciation for each other without turning kissing and closeness  into pure sex.

Those are just a few examples of giving your husband the oral sex he deserves without having to taste his semen.    The key here, like with most questions, is communication.  Talk with your husband and let him know you feel nervous but want to give him oral sex.  I promise you, he will embrace the idea.  Let him know that you would prefer to give him oral as a form of foreplay, rather than a finishing act.  Explain why.  If he has been as patient as you say he is, I have no doubt he will totally understand.   Also, if he knows oral is now something you are interested in trying, he will help initiate, taking away any of the embarrassment you may have felt before.

Now, let’s talk about the taste and idea of semen.  If you think your husband’s semen gross, it will be gross.  If you think his semen is the next best thing since honey, it will be honey.   Whether it be the texture, the taste, the smell, or just the idea from it coming from inside another human’s body, it’s all in your mind.  Let go of the childhood belief and grow into the woman he deserves.  Semen should be everything but gross.  That is the essence of your man, his being, his manhood, his ancestors, his past and his future, his dna, his seeds, his insides, his everything.   His semen is an extension of him.  Enjoy and take your man, all of him.   It isn’t gross or disgusting, and it definitely shouldn’t make you puke.   Free your mind and let it grow with your relationship.    If a man went down on a woman and puked because her juices tasted weird to him, what would you think?  It’s immature and young minded.  As we grow older we learn to appreciate the finer things in life:  the juices inside our partners being one of them.

Nessa’s suggstions on  swallowing cum:

Deepthroat.  Our blog has gone into great detail about how I taste nothing, feel nothing, and smell nothing.  If I am deepthroating, Ryan’s semen bypasses all my taste buds and  goes straight to my stomach.   For me, this is definitely neat, especially since you can feel his balls on your lips squeezing with each thrust.  You can also feel his thick urethra tube at the base of his penis, where his kegel muscles are the most powerful, pushing his semen into my body.  For me, the downside is I love to taste Ryan and his cum.  Therefore, I enjoy letting him unload his first shot into my mouth and then slide him down my throat to enjoy the experience of his orgasm.  This is the best of both worlds.

If you cannot deepthroat, try having him cum as far as he can in the back of your mouth.  The goal is to get his semen past your taste buds.  This may not help with the texture, but if the taste if what bothers you, this will help.

Get drunk.    Most of us are just looking for a reason to lose our inhibition.  That 4th or 5th shot of alcohol doesn’t taste anything like the first shot right?  Well guess what, your husbands semen will taste like buttersworth syrup after a few drinks.

Use chloraseptic or some other numbing agent for sore throats.  Not only does the choloraseptic have an decent flavor, but it also numbs the mouth and throat.  This can help you with gagging during deepthroat, or keep you from tasting and feeling the texture of his semen.   Chloraspetic can also numb the taste buds which keep you from tasting anything.

Give him oral in the morning.  I’ve read that the gag reflex is the least active in the morning.  Wake up, brush your teeth, give your man a blow job, swallow his load, head off to work.  This lazy morning gag reflex can also help you get his penis deep in your mouth if you normally deal with a super sensitive gag reflex.

Wash down the semen with something sweet.  Whether it be a coke or cold drink, wash down the semen so the after taste doesn’t make you gag or puke.  Think of his semen as the alcohol and you can pick your own chaser.

Suck on a jolly rancher, tic tac, or a breath mint before oral sex.   If you are skilled enough, keep the jolly rancher in your mouth while working his shaft.  I know this may sound hard, which it may be, but it will  definitely help with the taste.

 Ask your husband to eat pineapples  the night before you give him oral sex.  It is rumored that pineapples make the semen taste much better.   Experiment with different foods and see if it changes his semen’s flavor.

The biggest problem is your mind.  I’d guarantee if you have trouble swallowing, you are the type that overthinks things.  Relax, enjoy life, enjoy your man, take your mind off swallowing semen and think of something sweet.  Truthfully, this is all in your mind.  Grow up.

Practice by taking cum shots in the mouth without swallowing.  This could be something you while taste testing his semen/food intake.   The more you let him cum in your mouth the more you will get used to the texture and flavor.  As you get more relaxed and comfortable, swallowing will get much easier.

Use flavored lubrication.   Use honey!  Although you won’t really need lubrication with oral sex, if you were to lube up your husband’s penis with flavored lubrication, like syrup or honey, the sweet flavor taste will overwhelm your tastebuds.  The sticky sensation may also be amazing for his balls or anus play.  Try it.

We will update this section as we think of more helpful tips in swallowing sperm.

Hypothetically Speaking: The Reality of Us Swinging

SwingersAs we understand it, swinging is one couple having sexual relations with another couple. However, there are grey areas here as some single men are also in the swing lifestyle. Although I’d disagree with this, I’d consider a single man in the “get ass any way I possibly can lifestyle.” If he isn’t sharing or letting someone explore his intimate other, he isn’t swinging. I’ve heard some couples compare the single man in the swinging lifestyle to a parasite. But other than that, the crowd is usually open-minded, as you would have to be to accept other couples into your bedroom. Either way, there are different types of swinging, like there are different types of porn. You have your hard swingers and your soft swingers. Hard swinging is swapping partners, either same or different room. Full intercourse, oral, anal, whatever. Each partner swaps and they enjoy themselves however they like, or however they have set up their own personal boundaries with their partners. Soft swinging is not quite as hardcore, but it is how most swingers start out. Same room sex but you remain with your own partner. There may be some touching of other partners, female on female if the ladies are bi, and possibly oral, but that is a grey area. I’d feel oral crosses over into the hard swinging, but what if it’s just a man eating you out while your partner has sex with you. That isn’t quite like watching your husband watching you suck off another man in front of him. With the different types of oral, different boundaries, oral would still be considered soft swinging by most couples.

With that said, we are lifetime members of swinglifestyle.com but have never met with any couples. We’ve conversed and explored different ideas, but never set up any dates to meet any couple because the idea turns us on more than the actual idea of sharing. We are stingy.

Then came Twitter…

Twitter has allowed us to talk to many amazing people we would otherwise not talk to in real life. What’s even better is we get to delve into their lives via pictures and endless overlapping conversations with 140 characters or less, every letter counts, which in turn either makes you a “parts 2 and 3” tweeter or a succinct one.

With me being bi-curious and Ryan being open-minded, we can talk about our likes and dislikes about the fetishes, preferences, and people in general. Recently we had a discussion about swinging. We both agreed that we would never hard swing. Neither of us have the desire to give ourselves to anyone else. Soft swinging, on the other hand, is something we might consider since there are boundaries and no partner swapping.

With that out of the way, we discussed what we would both be comfortable with.  Ryan has no interest in seeing me suck or fuck another man, AT ALL.  He is open-minded with certain things, but he has no interest in sucking or being fucked by another man.  I understand this.   We are both stubborn, but we’d like to think we are open and very non judgemental. Neither of us would ever settle for less just to get our rocks off. A lifetime of regret isn’t worth 30 minutes of experimentation, and I plan on being with Ryan for my lifetime. It’s this same attitude that keeps either of us from cheating. We both love each other and we can openly talk about our lusts and desires without getting mad at one another. As long as I do not judge him and try to understand, he seems to be okay with opening up with me about different scenarios.

For me, the bi-girl in the other couple could do whatever she wanted with me, but her interaction with Ryan would be limited. Maybe touching him, maybe helping with oral sex, but definitely no penetration. (***this has now changed as I do not mind penetration for small periods of time as long as I am in control of his dick and using it to spoon out her juices and eat her off his dick).  I would let her kiss me with Ryan’s cum in my mouth if she wanted, but I don’t want to see Ryan ever fucking another woman. Ryan has said he is totally okay with that and has explained to me that he would not be offended if me and the girl had little to no boundaries with each other. I would let her do whatever she wanted with me, including me or her putting a strap-on on and working each other’s pussies over. I think most men, including Ryan, wouldn’t have an issue with this. But the bi-woman looking to jump in with a couple is called a “unicorn” for a reason.

As far as couples go, this is pretty simple.  Soft swinging is all we’d consider.    Us girls can play if we get along and want to.  The guys can watch (***we have moved away from the idea of soft swinging, as the idea of being watched turns us both off).   Our own personal boundaries are the same, regardless of the  female or a couple.  We have no interest in seeing the other have oral sex (***this has also changed, as I am okay with Ryan and I eating out a woman together) or sex with another person, but are definitely okay with playful touching and being licked respectfully.    This would be totally up to the other couple, as we understand our boundaries are   pretty constricted.   Otherwise, we would be into same room play and watching the other couple get off while we did the same.  That sounds kinky and fun.

I talked with Ryan today and we both decided this would be a good blog topic. Other than our faces we have been very open with our readers, trying to keep everything as authentic as we can. We aren’t the greatest couple in the world, but we are honest and sincere with our strengths and shortcomings. We may flirt on Twitter, but our love is stronger than the need for retweets. With good communication and strong boundaries it is possible to enjoy flirting and teasing others, but still be very faithful to your spouse.

What do you think?

Originally posted:  Dec, 12, 2012.

***Edited on December 9, 2013.   Look how much has changed in a year?!   Our boundaries have opened a bit but we have abandoned the idea of “soft swinging”.  Although we are open minded enough to understand why some couples do this, we learned that we are not  into being watched or playing in front of another couple.  Ryan isn’t comfortable and I absolutely only have the desire to play with other women.  Instead we have opened up our bedroom to threesomes and looking for a female partner that turns us both on and fits our mold.

Q&A: Is My Penis Size Too Small For Her and Does Size Matter?

 

toosmall1

Heath from New York 

Hello Nessa and Ryan, I have been following your blog for a while.  I absolutely love watching your deepthroat videos, but that is partially my question I guess.  I noticed in an old article Nessa wrote that she mentioned some women are not deepthroating if their men are not long enough to reach the back of their throat.  I also noticed that Nessa seems to be happy about the fact she “really” deepthroats.   Not that there is anything wrong with that, but let’s say Ryan wasn’t that big, would you still be just as satisfied with him or yourself?

I didn’t write you guys for that though, I just figured it would be a good way to bring up my situation.  

My fiancee has admitted to me  that she has had a few boyfriends before me that were “probably” larger than me.  She also was previously married to a man for over 5 years that she said was so huge she didn’t enjoy sex unless he took his time.   I never got the exact details on any of their sizes, but it was obvious with the way she acted that they were much larger than me.  Don’t get me wrong, she didn’t just volunteer this information to hurt me, I kind of pushed the issue and was determined to find out more about the woman I love and want to marry.  I always asked her, “Does size matter?” and she would respond with, “Absolutely not.”   Now, with this new information, I am just unsure I satisfy her.  I talked with her about this and she said that I am perfect for her.  However, last year, before I knew all this,  she bought me some ExtenZe pills.   She said she saw a commercial and thought it would be fun to try.  Wtf?   She then later said it was just a gag gift, fucking with me.  She has never openly said anything to my face about my size, and when I ask, she always says I am perfect.   Why else would you buy your boyfriend a some damn ExtenZe though?   She wants me to have a better golf stroke?

Also, another thing I remember, before we were very serious, I was walking through walmart with her and we stopped in the condom section.   I picked up the magnum XL box and she giggled and said, “Are we going to make water balloons?”   I looked at her and said, “No, I was wondering what this brand felt like.”   She laughed and said, “Loose!” then nudged me in the arm like I understood the joke.   That really hurt my feelings but I am unsure exactly what she meant. 

I always considered myself average size.  I didn’t grow up with a bunch of guys and compare dicks or anything.   I had a pretty hard life, me and my sister kind of had to survive on our own.  No father figure, no real time to sit and worry about dick sizes.   Now that I finally met someone I really care about, I didn’t realize that dick size would end up meaning so much.   Do all girls care about dick sizes?   Even though my girl says I am perfect,  I feel like deep down inside she wants more.  Is this common for guys to feel?   Do women always compare their history of dicks with their current man’s size, but never really admit it?   

Nessa’s response:

 Thank you for your question and for taking the time to watch our videos.  I feel deepthroating is an art, one that many women claim they can do, one that many men claim their women can do, and is something that I hold dear to me because I worship my man’s dick.  To answer your first question, if Ryan wasn’t as big [as he is compared to himself], would I still be just as satisfied.  Yes, I would still be happy if I knew I could deepthroat a longer dick but Ryan wasn’t big enough to really deepthroat. The act itself is gratifying, knowing I can satisfy my man, knowing he is satisfied by what I do for him.  Whether or not the penis goes down your throat, to shove your face as far as you can, is still cock worshipping.   Plus, if Ryan wasn’t the size he was, I wouldn’t have ever learned to slide a dick down my throat then, because he has the only dick I ever cared about satisfying in that way.   I wouldn’t have known any different, just like I don’t know different now.  A bigger or smaller man out there means nothing to me.

I can understand your frustration at your girlfriend buying ExTenze.  It’s like putting diet pills in a woman’s purse because you want her to be as thin as your lingerie-modeling ex.  You will see it as a negative thing at first; you might think she is comparing you to her exes.  But at least she’s not running back to them for the dick.  She wants to experience it with you, to give you what she knows her ex has, but does not want the PERSON.
 
About the condom incident, that was just rude.  Your girlfriend should never make you feel uncomfortable with body issues you have little to no control over, especially because she made it obvious that she has had bigger.  No, all girls do not care about dick sizes.  I have absolutely no desire for another dick, smaller, bigger, wider…whatever.  I love my man’s dick, but love the person who it’s attached to even more.  But the way your girlfriend jokes about it makes her sound insensitive to your feelings.  Pick a part of her body that she doesn’t like and make a joke about it.  I guarantee you’ll be in the doghouse for a week.  But that is partially where the problem lies, if she has no clue that it hurts your feelings, why haven’t you told her?  Your jealous and insecurities will tear your apart if, especially if she can be a part of the solution.

Ryan’s response:

 Is it common for guys to feel this way?  Yes.  Is it dumb to waste your time feeling that way?  Yes.  Big, small, skinny, fat, you have what you have.  You can sit there all day like a grown version of Pinocchio and wish to be a real man until a fairy comes along and grants your wish and gives you a huge cock, or you can go out and act like a real man because that’s what you are, regardless of where you stand on a dick size chart. 

In my opinion you seem to care more about your dick size than her.  Her joke, although stupid and insensitive, shows she probably doesn’t give two fucks about dick size.   She wouldn’t have made the joke if her life evolved around the idea of dick size is important.  She divorced a guy with a huge dick, because he was probably a huge dick.  She left all her hung  ex-boyfriends you seem so concerned about, and then ended up agreeing to marry you.   Obviously these big dicks aren’t that great.   If she cared so much about size, why didn’t she stay with her last husband?   Maybe instead of asking her how long his dick was, you should have asked how long he treated her with respect.   You asked her the sizes of her ex-boyfriends and you got your answer.   You want to be her biggest man?   Then be the man that makes her happy the longest.  Show her you have the biggest heart.  And also, show her  confidence.  Why be this great guy she decided to marry and end up being a half man-boy because you feel insecure about your penis size?   Why give so much weight to these assholes in her past because they were born with a longer piece of meat that hangs between their legs.  Forget her ex’s and forget their dicks.  She probably already would have if you didn’t ask her about it.

And if you think she still compares dicks in her mind each time she sees your penis, then go ahead and ask her which dick meant/means the most to her.  Ask her which dick made/makes her the most happy.   Ask her which dick matters?  If she doesn’t answer all those questions with, “YOU YOU YOU” immediately, then you chose the wrong girl to get engaged with. 

Does size matter?  Yes, to ex girlfriends, women who write blogs and need to entertain their following by naming their ex’s by their penis description (very common — also falls under ex girlfriends), and by women who you’ve dumped for being shallow.  Oh, that is also ex girlfriends.  When in love, and I mean truly in love, a real woman adores her man in every way…. penis size included.   

Fan Mail: Married 36 Years and Still Have A Great Sex Life

I would just like to say I came upon your site at Xhamster.com, and I really liked your videos, so I joined your blog. I think Nessa is very sexy looking, and my wife loves  Ryan’s cock says it looks great. Just want to say “I need to see more videos from the both of you”. You now have a new follower.

P.S.
I love your thinking for the way u want to live your lives and marriage, we have been married for 36 yrs & still have a great sex life ( my wife finally tried anal sex for the first time five (5) years ago and loved it) trying new things really works to keep things going.

Love You both,

John

Thanks John, I am glad you enjoy the different blogs and videos we have created.   Ryan and I can only hope to one day say we have been married for 36 years.  Your an inspiration.