Sleeping Nude

A few years ago I asked my wife to promise me she will never lay in bed with me wearing clothes. I noticed throughout the years, we began to change our sleep schedules, change where we slept (sometimes I would sleep in different rooms just to be more comfortable), and never woke up in each others’ arms. If my wife was already in bed wearing some shorts and a tank top, I may walk past her and rub her butt, but most of the time I would take my clothes off, hop in bed with my briefs, and go to sleep. Do not get me wrong, we still had a great sex life, but sex and “bedtime” were on totally different schedules. Like I said, we would have sex, then an hour later both be sleeping in king size beds in separate rooms. I like the room completely dark, she likes to sleep with the television on. I like to have a nice side fan blowing on my body, she doesn’t like the cold air.  To most couples this would seem like a huge problem, but we were both complacent.

The truth is, it was a problem. I no longer saw my wife as someone I wanted to hold all night, touch all night, scoot close and curl my stomach around her butt while rubbing my penis against her thighs. I was turning into a colder man who was affectionate during sex, but mentally not there afterwards. A lot of it had to do with my wife shutting down as she appreciated me less. If I wanted to try something new and different, she would agree, but didn’t show any enthusiasm. The sex was never bad, but it lost the feeling of two people in love.

Back to a few years ago. My wife and I both hit a point where we knew we loved each other, but we both had the mutual feeling of boredom. The complacency wasn’t enough. The sex without enthusiasm wasn’t enough. The lack of attention she got from me wasn’t enough.  The lack of openness in the bedroom for me wasn’t enough. We decided, as a couple, to fix it.  Of course, we both had to see the problem to want to fix it.  Our catalyst was the idea that were were no longer lovers or best friends, just roommates.   It needed fixing and we both agreed.

In breaking down a few reasons I had slipped during the years, I knew I never wanted to grow up and sleep with my wife like I was on a camping trip (fully dressed and ready to run in case a bear breaks into the camper). As a kid, I felt that one day I would marry a woman and each night we would lay nude together, her on my chest, talking about our day. I let my wife know that I want her to be nude for me in bed. I want to wake up in the middle of the night and touch her body. I want to know that if I roll over and hug her, we will both be nude. For various reasons, this helped rekindle that spark we had for each other when we first moved in together. I wanted to touch her again, I wanted to hug her all throughout the night, I wanted to rub myself on her and let her feel my naked body against hers. It was sex, without intercourse. A new form of intimacy that even as a new couple we didn’t appreciate. I could hold my nude body against hers for the entire night, falling in love again.

For me, this nudity came very easy. I love being nude, I love showing my wife my body, and I love to feel the freedom of things hanging where they hang. My wife had a harder time with this, as sometimes she would lay in bed with panties and a shirt, sometimes just her panties. I’d come across the bed and feel down her tummy to her thighs and immediately ask why she was wearing panties. She’d look at me, smile, and say she forgot because she wasn’t used to doing it. That’s all it took for her to remove her clothing, but she had to reverse what she had conditioned herself to do for her entire life. For her, sleeping nude didn’t come natural. She felt safe with more clothing. I wanted her to feel safe with me.

After a few months, I noticed my wife would only wear a robe around the house after a shower.  She may put on a sun dress or something simple, but she would not put on a bra or panties. Before bed, she’d slip off her outfit and lay in bed, nude, no covers, letting me see her body. If she is on her stomach reading, I know she wants me to lick and massage her. If she is on her back, I know she is getting tired and wants me to touch and make out with her before bed. She no longer forgets, in fact, it’s just the opposite. At night I will go out with my wife and notice she will not be wearing panties under her dresses. For whatever reason, she has taken a liking to her new freedom, and I enjoy knowing she is breaking out of her shell.  I want her to enjoy her body as much as I do, and how can I not give her attention knowing my wife is a hand slide away from me feeling her vagina or ass? I love it. I love being around her, I love talking to her, I love hearing what she has to say, because I feel close to her again. I feel like she wants me close to her. She wants me to touch her wherever I can.  She wants me to fuck her, whenever and wherever I can.  I feel like the effort she puts into letting me know she wants me turned on and near her, makes me try throughout the day to show her, I want to be near her. I want to live up to her appreciation. It’s more than just nudity, it’s the call of the wild. It helped  save our marriage, it helped our sex life, and it freed us from complacency.

-This article was originally written on November 4, 2012.   It was published September 30, 2013.

The Five-Second Kiss Rule #AdultSexEdMonth

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It seems that the longer a couple has been together, the more difficult it becomes to be affectionate with each other. Complacency, habit, and just plain being “used to each other” can get in the way of the need to remind the other about their commitments. The time they set aside for one another can easily become routine or mundane if they’re not consistent, so every couple should create their own ways of ensuring their love still burns in them, even if it only flickers.

Ryan and I are of the opinion that a happy couple should have sex every day of their lives, and both partners should remind themselves in their own heads, why they love their partner. A good relationship is hard work. If it seems easy, more than likely you are missing something. With everything you do well, whether it be your health, your hobbies, and even your job, the more you do certain tasks, the better you get. For instance, the more you go to the gym and exercise, the stronger and healthier you look. It’s hard work being fit and healthy. Well, a healthy relationship is the same. Finding time to be intimate, make love, and make your partner feel special should be a daily activity. Yes, even kissing.

Don’t misunderstand me though, I do not mean have sex just to have sex, or kiss just to kiss. A couple must practice intimacy and positive thinking. It’s not just a cliche message to think positive, it’s the reality of a strong relationship. If you kiss, hug, or make love to your spouse, as much as you moan or purr in your partners arms, you must purr to yourself as well. Make it a mental exercise to tell yourself how lucky you are to have your partner. If you show enthusiasm, show enthusiasm because it makes it exciting and fun for you, not just for your other half. Fake intimacy or sex done out of obligation is worse than no sex at all, for both of you — resentment resentment. A man or woman should look into their own minds and figure out why it’s important to not only have sex, but to love the sex each time you are with your partner. Enthusiasm, wanting each other, loving each others’ touch, and feeling each others’ bodies rub and create the friction we read about in romance novels.

The above is a good example of why couples need to abide by the five-second kiss rule. Not just with your lips touching, but with your hands touching each others faces, cheek smelling, and yes, a little tongue, at least once a day. This may sound like a silly robotic act, but a routine isn’t always bad thing. It’s a bad routine if you are ignoring your partner’s needs each day, and it quickly turns into a lifestyle. The opposite is also true. It’s a good routine if you are purposely being intimate with your spouse each day, it too will eventually become your lifestyle. If you prepare yourself for any major event in your life, whether it be a test, fight, sports match, or a marathon, usually you will plan a routine and follow rules to reach your maximum potential prior to the event. In this case, it’s the most important event of your life, your happily ever after. For us, there is nothing more accepting than kissing each other and holding our mouths together to see how the other responds. Ryan has told me that since we’ve been together, that if he has ever even slightly opened his lips while kissing, I’ve always let my tongue slide inside his mouth. Not aggressively or quick, but just the tip of my tongue to feel for his tongue. It is something I never really noticed, but it’s almost like an antennae. It’s instinct for me to reach out with one of the most sensitive organs in my body and feel to see if he is receptive. As interesting as that idea is, that also makes oral sex extremely intimate when put into this perspective (I love nothing more than feeling the tastes, shapes, and textures of my man’s penis and balls on my tongue – his most private possessions).  Ryan also noticed that I will wait for him to open his mouth before I initiate tongue play. It’s a team game, and you both do things you may not even notice, but if the love is present, it works. Of course, if we weren’t in love, we wouldn’t want to even kiss, let alone open our mouths and have the other stick their tongue in.

We don’t do this just for the pleasure of kissing, or even the possibility of sex to follow, it’s for the attachment we feel each day to the person we decided to spend the rest of our lives with. Our mouths are the dirtiest parts of our body, and although kissing is done in public and isn’t seen as a “dirty act“, the truth is, sticking your wet organ/tongue in another person’s wet body/mouth, swapping saliva and juices, and feeling each other’s lips is just as intimate as sex itself. Sex is taboo and private, which created a stigma with the act. Everyone wants to do what we can’t do, so sex became this important mountain in our relationships. In fact, some couples have built sex up so much that they (or their religion expects them to) wait until after marriage to enjoy each other sexually. However, kissing (being so close you almost breath the same air — as if you could save each other’s life with a sexual CPR) was acceptable. I’m not downplaying the importance of sex, but I am making a good argument for kissing being much more intimate and important than people think.  Under appreciated and neglected in aging relationships.  A physical connection and intimacy keeps your chemicals and hormones flowing, and if you follow your own guidelines to try your hardest to truly enjoy this physical time, you both will love each other more. No resentment for a man “wanting it too much” and no resentment from a woman “never giving me sex anymore.”

Kiss for 5 seconds everyday, or every time you say goodbye, or before you go to bed.  You won’t regret it.

Quarter 1 2013: Top 20 Sex Blogs

top10After reviewing 100s of sex blogs, we chose what we felt would comprise our first top 10 list.   This will be called the Top 10 Sex Blogs of Quarter 1 2013.  After this list (which actually has 20 — too many great blogs to keep just 10 on our first attempt), we will only choose 10 blogs every 3 months that we feel are the best blogs of the quarter.  Once a blog is already on the list for the current year, it will not be up for review again until the end of that year, at which time we will make our top 25 Sex Blogs of 2013.   If you want to submit your blog, please go to our contact page and let us know your page url, your blog name, and whatever background info you’d like to be included in our reviews.

Our reviews are based off a database which keeps track of various categories:   Media, Originality, Updates, Variations, Entertainment, and a few other categories which will remain unpublished.  We have a few trusted friends and fellow authors helping us rate each blog submitted.  We then calculate and review the top 10 blogs in the database.    Yes, we have an actual system.  However, our system is still just our opinions.  For the Quarter 1 Top 10 we’ve decided to add a few more of our own personal favorites that have not been submitted to the database.  No blog listed below will be eligible for another Top 10 list until the end of the year.

Top 20 Sex Blogs of Quarter 1, 2013:

1. The Beautiful Kind is a blog with so much honesty it hurts. Kendra Holliday is not apologetic for the events that led her to the life she leads now. I applaud her for the sexual freedom she exudes and the vigilant parenting, in equal parts. Her sexuality and parenting do, in fact, overlap, and the sincerity in which she approaches both is something for which I have a true and deep respect. The highly anticipated photos from her birthday gang bang are up. Nowhere have I seen a more eloquently choreographed event documented than I have here.

2. I cannot express how lusciously entertaining A Good Woman’s Dirty Mind is to me. Ms. Quote’s blog is divided into wonderful sections including erotica (her own as well as others), a section entitled “Seriously Sexy Fun” which has funny, quirky pictures, and “Seductive Soundtracks/Music” (a personal favorite). Ms. Quote’s “Relationship Rambling/Blog” is an ode to naughty topics in pop culture, two topics that when mixed together serve as a bit of comic relief to her more serious topics (see “Jon Hamm’s Big Little Hamm” and “Twitter Fakes and Rip Offs”). Where else can you find a blend of sexy wit and erotica?

3. Between My Sheets is a well-established blog headed by Rori, whose “Who is Rori” alone pulled me in. She introduces characters, or rather lovers, past and present, who have contributed to shaping the woman and lover she is today. Her blog is filled with erotica, posts, opinions, reviews, giveaways and much more. Each Tuesday, she engages her readers in a conversation with questions such as, “Does Age Really Matter?” Rori has undoubtedly created a one-stop shop for sexual Q&A that has truly become one racy blog.

4. Uncommon Appetities is composed of a self-described 20something married Brooklyn couple. Their videos are beautifully shot with an artistic eye behind the lens. The photos, mainly of them, share the same high-quality caliber. Rye and Violet examine the definition of marriage and share much of the same ideals as me and Ryan. Often their post may be comprised of a few carefully chosen photos describing a thought, an idea, a belief. This is a couple who clearly understand the meaning of building and strengthening their marriage.

5. Sunny Megatron is a powerful tool women can use to hone their sexual mind state…as well as techniques. Sunny offers sex toy reviews, events, contests as well as superb blogs on a wide array of subjects. One cannot help but be intrigued by such titles “How To Handle Gagging, During A Blow Job” and “G-Spot Stimulation Instructional Video.” If you’re a woman who’s single, married, or neither, you’ll want to do extensive research on this website to make yourself an even more valuable commodity.

6. Yes Means Yes is a magnificent blog that takes an innovative approach to rape and the pursuit to publicize female empowerment. This site is an assemblage of powerful writers contributing to the cause of eradicating rape and raising its awareness. I was captivated by compelling articles such as “Revenge Porn and the Women-Humiliation Industry” as it poignantly asserts, “If the culture tells my kids that it’s hot and exciting to violate a woman’s boundaries with a camera, what lesson will they take about violating a woman’s body with a body?” Indeed, knowledge is power.

7. Always Each Other is a blog run by a more contemporary couple, a couple who does not pretend to be perfect, happy, or perpetually in love. Though a sexless marriage is hard for many to understand, they attempt to reconcile and, once again, discover each other. Together they have proven that relationships really do take two to work, and together they share their journey with the world. This is a real couple with real issues who generously share the details of their most intimate project: marriage.

8. Bottom Talk is another blog worth investing your time in if you have ever thought about starting an anal sex regime. Though this blog is only updated every few months, there are still posts that are timeless in content: “Stretch Your Bootie! Anal stretching, training, and even warm-up” and “Getting back into anal.” There are extensive reviews of dildos, butt plugs, and prostate massages, all of which are a must read by both men and women if they share a common interest in anal play.

9. Engine Erotica is a blog which includes many pieces of sexual literature, both real and fantasy. He possesses the gift of erotic storytelling as he describes in steamy detail the kinky exploits of adventurous adults. It is so easy to lose yourself in the thrill of forbidden and dangerous sexual situations, but he has mastered the art of delivering carnal stories to the masses.

10. Jessica runs Blog With Benefits a lighthearted blog about relationships and everyday writings. Jessica writes from a young lady’s experience and has certainly has the stitches in her heart to prove it. I adore her creativity with the various lists (“Best Movies About Love of All Time”), humorous charts (“Are You A Booty Call?”), and fun how-tos “How To Meet His Parents For The First Time.” If you appreciate the variety that Jessica offers, you will definitely enjoy this blog.

11. She Who Makes The Rules is dark but serene blog comprised of the emotional thought processes. Let me rephrase – this is not a blog, but rather eloquently-written poetry set to artistic photos. Her writing is brutal, gritty, and downright sexy. Being written in first person, she commands the reader to submit to her powerful will while simultaneously enjoying every wickedly sinister moment.

12. Absinthe Cocktail is a charmingly sinister blog led by Arti, our sexual heroine. Her words are menacingly hypnotic in the way she illustrates each sexual session. Although the narrative is dark at some points, it is beautifully written. Arti is authentic in her pain, joy, jealousy, and sensuality, drawing me in to read further. This is one of the few sites that contain only a blog – no sex toy reviews, no media, simply her experiences in written format.

13. Diirrty is a quick spank on the rear, a quickie in the backseat. Brilliantly-arranged prose is refreshing, succinct. Love.

14. Sir Robert Stories delivers erotic short stories which cater to various tastes and genres. He has been collecting erotic literature for quite some time and occasionally recruits guest writers for submission pieces. Sir Robert does remind us that he posts once a week so stories submitted must be of extraordinary standards. In my opinion, he does an excellent job in choosing. One story by Gilglim has been written in a male perspective, but has also been written in a female’s. To me it denotes a certain empathy from the writer’s perspective, which is a sought after skill in the realm of writing with compassion and heart.

15. Nudes For Troops is a website dedicated to boosting the morale of American troops. I’m a patriotic American and am proud to have served my country during wartime. I support them because even though I am no longer an active duty lady warrior, I consider myself a lifelong member of the armed forces.

16. Lenoir Gold is an acquired taste. Pun totally intended. Lenoir is a passionate lover of water sports, also known as peeing. I, myself, do not have an infatuation for water sports, but it did spark my curiosity. Like any other specialty blog, it does have its own fetishists and this is no exception. Lenoir’s blog contains a massive assortment of male and female (or any other combination you can think of). He has a flair for words that he uses to introduce a photo or video, which read like a description of the nightly special on the menu of an expensive restaurant…and for many, perhaps just as delicious.

17. I discovered Innocent Loverboy and was immediately drawn to the innocence that poured from his erotic tales. His stories are beautifully crafted and written in the way a woman wears a sheer, white tee with no bra: revealing just enough without overstimulating your senses. On a recent Soft PornSunday post, ILB lampoons Mega Shark vs Giant Octopus, a science fiction movie with the implied, obligatory sex scene. If someone asked me to properly introduce him to the world of erotic literature, I would begin by recommending him Innocent Loverboy.

18. Renee Rose Romance is a candid writer whose emphasis is on spanking. I certainly am a fan of both specialized blogs (spanking or otherwise) as well as generalized ones. However, the uniqueness about Renee Rose is the incorporation of other aspects of her life into her posts, assuring the reader that behind the kinky woman is a fragile human being. Choosing to intertwine her clear gift of storytelling with real life is brave and I commend those who do so.

19. Erotica Everywhere is an erotic blog with excerpts of his sensual tales, guest bloggers, and snippets of his daily musings. Robert India engages his readers to join him in conversation after a post: “What is your favorite Bond & Bond Girl combination” and “Have you ever discussed pegging with your man?” His posts range from a thought of the day as it relates to an excerpt of his books and other writing to several lines of steamy poetry accompanied by a naughty photo to the occasional guest blog. Robert India has grown as a writer and an intellectual thinker and I cannot wait to read more from him.

20. Silent Porn Star is an extensive collection of sexuality in every medium and category your mind can think of. If you have a specific topic or are not looking for anything in particular, you’re sure to find it. Honestly, I can sit and browse the entire blog and be amazed by the breadth and depth of subject matter. The hodgepodge of material is tasteful and I dare any viewer to not learn a thing or two after perusing. Don’t believe me? See for yourself…

If you want to submit your blog please go to our contact page and leave us your url, blog name, and the information you’d like included in our reviews.  You can also contact @venicebloggs on twitter and talk to me personally.

Blogs that display our Top 10 logo on their blog will be eligible for our year end top 10 list (we appreciate your work, review then promote, do the same for us as a thank you).

Logo url below:
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Q&A: I hate swallowing my husband’s cum. Any tips on swallowing cum?

no swallow

Bitter cum face

Jasmine via the internet 

 Me and my husband have been married for over 5 years and until recently I never gave him any oral sex.  I’ve decided to change that.  I have been reading different blogs and websites, yours being one of them, and I am trying to open my mind and experience everything with my husband.   My only concern is, I have tried to swallow cum with my a previous boyfriend and I immediately threw up all over him.   I know that is bad, but it wasn’t just me spitting him out, I actually threw up from the taste of it, all over his lap.  After that episode I have maybe given a few more blow jobs but never let a guy finish in my mouth.   

Anyway, when I met my husband he told me from the beginning he just wants me happy.  I told him about my past, the good, the bad, and the embarrassing, and he immediately let me know that I would never have to do anything I was uncomfortable with.  Believe it or not, he has stuck to his words.  I’ve never felt any pressure from him about oral sex.  The few times  I came close to initiating, I got scared because too much time between us has passed and I feel embarrassed.  I also don’t know when to stop giving oral without hurting his feelings.   I do know that I want to give him oral sex because I love him more than anything in the world and he deserves it, but I know I will never be able to swallow his cum.   Do you guys have any suggestions? 

Venice’s response: 

Thank you for your question. I commend your husband for respecting your wishes about not asking you to give him oral sex or swallow.  If the taste of semen makes you throw up, that is just awful.  I know that me swallowing has made me closer to Ryan.  I yield a certain dominance over him when I tell him that no one can have his cum but me, that he better not be wasting all that precious juice.  I even get pissed off at the idea of him jacking off and wasting my cum. I’ve turned my cum swallowing into a game, a game where I make all the rules.

Remember this: I know it’s not apple juice, it’s cum, I get it.  But the THOUGHT of it, what it represents to ME as Ryan’s wife, makes it the most delicious thing in the world.  If you have to train yourself to love it, then do so!  I hate to make this comparison, but it’s like smoking a cigarette for the first time: you try it because of peer pressure or you want to impress the other cool kids.  At first you don’t want to do it, but you push through it, even forcing yourself.  You start gagging and coughing.  It’s the worst feeling ever when it burns your throat.  But you see everyone doing it and you want to fit in.  So you smoke another one; same reaction. You repeat this process until finally one day, your body is used to it and needs it.  Now the cool kids are hanging around you all because you have this one thing in common.  Well, pretend your husband is the cool kid and you want to impress him.

Also, I commend you for trying to initiate.  It shows that you are willing to do it!  My suggestion would be to take baby steps.  If you do initiate oral sex, squeeze his penis hard after he has an erection for a few minutes and you will notice a clear sticky drop will appear around his urethra opening.  This is his froth.  This is the lubrication his body naturally provides to make sure his penis can penetrate the vagina.  I personally think froth is very sweet.   It has its own taste and texture.  I think that would be a better approach to having him shoot his load into your mouth.  Don’t take a whole load at once for the first time with your husband. Just a drop or two, or a small lick off his stomach.  Let it sit on your tongue for a moment.  You’ll realize it’s not disgusting and certainly not poison.

Remind yourself that this is your husband’s semen, the man that you love, the man who would do anything to protect you.  It’s been five years and he hasn’t even suggested you give him oral sex.  He sounds like one of the patient understanding ones.  Wait to see how patient and understanding he will be after you blow his socks off. Once you give him oral sex on a regular basis, and possibly even swallowing him, new doors will open and you will both benefit from your new-found sexuality. “I will never be able to swallow his cum.” Never say never.

Ryan’s response: 

First, thanks for reading our blog. I am glad you want to open up and try new things with your husband.  5 years is a bit long but it’s better than 10 years I suppose.

Oral sex does not have to involve any sort of “completion”.  Sometimes Venice will give me oral sex just to get me erect and use her saliva to lubricate my penis for anal or vaginal intercourse.  Every morning Venice wakes me up kissing on my neck, then under my arms, then each of my nipples, until finally she gets between my lap and will lick and suck on all of my sexual body parts.  Sometimes she will focus on my balls, other times she will lick and suck on my penis.  I never orgasm.   We both know our morning time is for intimacy and enjoying each other, not to get worked up and have orgasms.   It’s our way to show self control and appreciation for each other without turning kissing and closeness  into pure sex.

Those are just a few examples of giving your husband the oral sex he deserves without having to taste his semen.    The key here, like with most questions, is communication.  Talk with your husband and let him know you feel nervous but want to give him oral sex.  I promise you, he will embrace the idea.  Let him know that you would prefer to give him oral as a form of foreplay, rather than a finishing act.  Explain why.  If he has been as patient as you say he is, I have no doubt he will totally understand.   Also, if he knows oral is now something you are interested in trying, he will help initiate, taking away any of the embarrassment you may have felt before.

Now, let’s talk about the taste and idea of semen.  If you think your husband’s semen gross, it will be gross.  If you think his semen is the next best thing since honey, it will be honey.   Whether it be the texture, the taste, the smell, or just the idea from it coming from inside another human’s body, it’s all in your mind.  Let go of the childhood belief and grow into the woman he deserves.  Semen should be everything but gross.  That is the essence of your man, his being, his manhood, his ancestors, his past and his future, his dna, his seeds, his insides, his everything.   His semen is an extension of him.  Enjoy and take your man, all of him.   It isn’t gross or disgusting, and it definitely shouldn’t make you puke.   Free your mind and let it grow with your relationship.    If a man went down on a woman and puked because her juices tasted weird to him, what would you think?  It’s immature and young minded.  As we grow older we learn to appreciate the finer things in life:  the juices inside our partners being one of them.

Venice’s suggstions on  swallowing cum:

Deepthroat.  Our blog has gone into great detail about how I taste nothing, feel nothing, and smell nothing.  If I am deepthroating, Ryan’s semen bypasses all my taste buds and  goes straight to my stomach.   For me, this is definitely neat, especially since you can feel his balls on your lips squeezing with each thrust.  You can also feel his thick urethra tube at the base of his penis, where his kegel muscles are the most powerful, pushing his semen into my body.  For me, the downside is I love to taste Ryan and his cum.  Therefore, I enjoy letting him unload his first shot into my mouth and then slide him down my throat to enjoy the experience of his orgasm.  This is the best of both worlds.

If you cannot deepthroat, try having him cum as far as he can in the back of your mouth.  The goal is to get his semen past your taste buds.  This may not help with the texture, but if the taste if what bothers you, this will help.

Get drunk.    Most of us are just looking for a reason to lose our inhibition.  That 4th or 5th shot of alcohol doesn’t taste anything like the first shot right?  Well guess what, your husbands semen will taste like buttersworth syrup after a few drinks.

Use chloraseptic or some other numbing agent for sore throats.  Not only does the choloraseptic have an decent flavor, but it also numbs the mouth and throat.  This can help you with gagging during deepthroat, or keep you from tasting and feeling the texture of his semen.   Chloraspetic can also numb the taste buds which keep you from tasting anything.

Give him oral in the morning.  I’ve read that the gag reflex is the least active in the morning.  Wake up, brush your teeth, give your man a blow job, swallow his load, head off to work.  This lazy morning gag reflex can also help you get his penis deep in your mouth if you normally deal with a super sensitive gag reflex.

Wash down the semen with something sweet.  Whether it be a coke or cold drink, wash down the semen so the after taste doesn’t make you gag or puke.  Think of his semen as the alcohol and you can pick your own chaser.

Suck on a jolly rancher, tic tac, or a breath mint before oral sex.   If you are skilled enough, keep the jolly rancher in your mouth while working his shaft.  I know this may sound hard, which it may be, but it will  definitely help with the taste.

 Ask your husband to eat pineapples  the night before you give him oral sex.  It is rumored that pineapples make the semen taste much better.   Experiment with different foods and see if it changes his semen’s flavor.

The biggest problem is your mind.  I’d guarantee if you have trouble swallowing, you are the type that overthinks things.  Relax, enjoy life, enjoy your man, take your mind off swallowing semen and think of something sweet.  Truthfully, this is all in your mind.  Grow up.

Practice by taking cum shots in the mouth without swallowing.  This could be something you while taste testing his semen/food intake.   The more you let him cum in your mouth the more you will get used to the texture and flavor.  As you get more relaxed and comfortable, swallowing will get much easier.

Use flavored lubrication.   Use honey!  Although you won’t really need lubrication with oral sex, if you were to lube up your husband’s penis with flavored lubrication, like syrup or honey, the sweet flavor taste will overwhelm your tastebuds.  The sticky sensation may also be amazing for his balls or anus play.  Try it.

We will update this section as we think of more helpful tips in swallowing sperm.

Hypothetically Speaking: The Reality of Us Swinging

SwingersAs we understand it, swinging is one couple having sexual relations with another couple. However, there are grey areas here as some single men are also in the swing lifestyle. Although I’d disagree with this, I’d consider a single man in the “get ass any way I possibly can lifestyle.” If he isn’t sharing or letting someone explore his intimate other, he isn’t swinging. I’ve heard some couples compare the single man in the swinging lifestyle to a parasite. But other than that, the crowd is usually open-minded, as you would have to be to accept other couples into your bedroom. Either way, there are different types of swinging, like there are different types of porn. You have your hard swingers and your soft swingers. Hard swinging is swapping partners, either same or different room. Full intercourse, oral, anal, whatever. Each partner swaps and they enjoy themselves however they like, or however they have set up their own personal boundaries with their partners. Soft swinging is not quite as hardcore, but it is how most swingers start out. Same room sex but you remain with your own partner. There may be some touching of other partners, female on female if the ladies are bi, and possibly oral, but that is a grey area. I’d feel oral crosses over into the hard swinging, but what if it’s just a man eating you out while your partner has sex with you. That isn’t quite like watching your husband watching you suck off another man in front of him. With the different types of oral, different boundaries, oral would still be considered soft swinging by most couples.

With that said, we are lifetime members of swinglifestyle.com but have never met with any couples. We’ve conversed and explored different ideas, but never set up any dates to meet any couple because the idea turns us on more than the actual idea of sharing. We are stingy.

Then came Twitter…

Twitter has allowed us to talk to many amazing people we would otherwise not talk to in real life. What’s even better is we get to delve into their lives via pictures and endless overlapping conversations with 140 characters or less, every letter counts, which in turn either makes you a “parts 2 and 3” tweeter or a succinct one.

With me being bi-curious and Ryan being open-minded, we can talk about our likes and dislikes about the fetishes, preferences, and people in general. Recently we had a discussion about swinging. We both agreed that we would never hard swing. Neither of us have the desire to give ourselves to anyone else. Soft swinging, on the other hand, is something we might consider since there are boundaries and no partner swapping.

With that out of the way, we discussed what we would both be comfortable with.  Ryan has no interest in seeing me suck or fuck another man, AT ALL.  He is open-minded with certain things, but he has no interest in sucking or being fucked by another man.  I understand this.   We are both stubborn, but we’d like to think we are open and very non judgemental. Neither of us would ever settle for less just to get our rocks off. A lifetime of regret isn’t worth 30 minutes of experimentation, and I plan on being with Ryan for my lifetime. It’s this same attitude that keeps either of us from cheating. We both love each other and we can openly talk about our lusts and desires without getting mad at one another. As long as I do not judge him and try to understand, he seems to be okay with opening up with me about different scenarios.

For me, the bi-girl in the other couple could do whatever she wanted with me, but her interaction with Ryan would be limited. Maybe touching him, maybe helping with oral sex, but definitely no penetration. (***this has now changed as I do not mind penetration for small periods of time as long as I am in control of his dick and using it to spoon out her juices and eat her off his dick).  I would let her kiss me with Ryan’s cum in my mouth if she wanted, but I don’t want to see Ryan ever fucking another woman. Ryan has said he is totally okay with that and has explained to me that he would not be offended if me and the girl had little to no boundaries with each other. I would let her do whatever she wanted with me, including me or her putting a strap-on on and working each other’s pussies over. I think most men, including Ryan, wouldn’t have an issue with this. But the bi-woman looking to jump in with a couple is called a “unicorn” for a reason.

As far as couples go, this is pretty simple.  Soft swinging is all we’d consider.    Us girls can play if we get along and want to.  The guys can watch (***we have moved away from the idea of soft swinging, as the idea of being watched turns us both off).   Our own personal boundaries are the same, regardless of the  female or a couple.  We have no interest in seeing the other have oral sex (***this has also changed, as I am okay with Ryan and I eating out a woman together) or sex with another person, but are definitely okay with playful touching and being licked respectfully.    This would be totally up to the other couple, as we understand our boundaries are   pretty constricted.   Otherwise, we would be into same room play and watching the other couple get off while we did the same.  That sounds kinky and fun.

I talked with Ryan today and we both decided this would be a good blog topic. Other than our faces we have been very open with our readers, trying to keep everything as authentic as we can. We aren’t the greatest couple in the world, but we are honest and sincere with our strengths and shortcomings. We may flirt on Twitter, but our love is stronger than the need for retweets. With good communication and strong boundaries it is possible to enjoy flirting and teasing others, but still be very faithful to your spouse.

What do you think?

Originally posted:  Dec, 12, 2012.

***Edited on December 9, 2013.   Look how much has changed in a year?!   Our boundaries have opened a bit but we have abandoned the idea of “soft swinging”.  Although we are open minded enough to understand why some couples do this, we learned that we are not  into being watched or playing in front of another couple.  Ryan isn’t comfortable and I absolutely only have the desire to play with other women.  Instead we have opened up our bedroom to threesomes and looking for a female partner that turns us both on and fits our mold.