OK guys..we’re in the natural habitat of the human man. You can see that it’s a very lush area, not too dangerous, but still want to be careful. Never know what’s lurking. Over here we got vidya games, a stack of gym socks wadded up into little half balls, and a pet lizard. Not too treacherous, but watch your step here.
Woah woah woah! I think we found one guys! Oh crikey, look at that man on the computer chair watching porn while he strokes his hard cock. We have to be careful here, you never know when that thing will spit at ya. It’s okay big fella, I’m not gonna hurt ya.
Take a look at that cock. See the striping along the center? He must have been a massive fight sometime in his life. And that coloring…just gorgeous! Let’s get a closer loo—woah there! Easy, boy..EASY! We made eye contact..a sign of dominance over his surroundings.
Oh ho ho! He’s a feisty fella, ain’t he? We caught him off guard. He’s gonna shell up and protect himself from us. This could get a bit dangerous. Let’s back away, guys..slowly, slowly. It’s alright big guy, we’re leaving. You’re alright, you’re alright..
Masturbation is normal for me and Ryan. So much so that when are alone together, watching a movie, laying around, or getting ready for bed, it’s common for us to put a hand down our own pants and just…relax. Not to orgasm, not to be perverted, but to simply relax. In fact, if he’s not spooning me, I lay in his arm and hold his balls or dick in my hand. It’s become second nature to me. Just last night, I was laying next to him watching a movie, and I guess he felt my wrist tendons moving against his leg and asked, “Are you touching yourself?” I was. Not to cum, but it just felt good to lay there and tickle my lips while I straddled his body watching a movie together. We have no shame, because I do this very openly and do not care if he feels, sees, or knows I am playing with myself, even when sex is the furthest things from our minds.
So, one day last week, I decided that I wanted to watch Ryan masturbate like he was alone in the room by himself. Although I have seen him masturbate a lot, it was always with me sitting on his face or laying on his stomach rubbing his balls. I had never really watched him masturbate like he was totally alone without me helping or being his visual stimulation. I pulled out his dick as he sat on his computer chair. He loaded xhamster on his computer as I sat next to him. He got comfortable and searched for “woman deepthroat,” which was perfect. I love to see a woman deepthroat. We both do.
Change of plans. I need to touch his dick and feel it in my hands. I can’t just sit there while porn is on, emotionless like it’s a science project. 🙁 Instead of watching him masturbate alone, I decided I would stroke his dick off for him, while he used his free hands to browse porn and do what he would normally do if I was not in the room. Except obviously he has the benefit of being totally hands free.
Okay, back to xhamster. The first video he watched was an amateur video of a woman sucking a guy’s dick. The fact that it was a deepthroat video AND an amateur video is something that I know Ryan likes. For some reason the amateur ones have a “hidden video” vibe to it. While the professional videos seem more like paid hookers all having sex with each other, fake energy, fake orgasms, and men that look like they belong in Parkay commercials. The woman in this video was down on her knees getting play-slapped on the face with the man’s dick in her mouth. He was, in my opinion, a little on the small side, so when he forced her head down onto his crotch and she scrambled to come up for air, gagging like she just swallowed a mouthful of sea water, I couldn’t help but laugh out loud. I felt embarrassed because of my inappropriate outburst, but there’s just something comical about “sarcastic porn.” Within the first 20 seconds, I already felt him getting plump in my hands. Moments later he was scrolling the mouse over the thumbnails, getting glimpses of video suggestions based on his current selection.
The next video was a male-female-female threesome, according to the double blow job in the preview. I love MFF threesomes. The video started with two women in stiletto heels, each step clicking on the marble floor of some rented mansion foyer. Ryan immediately changed it. Apparently too professional for him.
Over the next 10 minutes, we saw snippets of several videos, each of them never getting him fully erect: amateur MF home video, lesbian group sex, male jail scenario. Regardless of what he clicked on, he never got hard. He thickened to about 30% hardness, but nothing strokable and certainly not fuckable. I started to get frustrated that he wasn’t getting hard. It shouldn’t have mattered because I wasn’t going to fuck him, but in order for me to get him off, his dick does need to be slightly harder. I was also frustrated because I felt like he was purposely going from video to video so he wouldn’t get hard. I know it wasn’t true, but it was still making me impatient.
In the end, he did find one video that got him hard immediately: our own xhamster video (hidden video). Immediately, his dick started to grow. Within the first minute, his penis was hard as I had ever felt it. Soon after that, his balls tightened up. Afterwards, he said that it was weird to hear me talking in the video and to feel me stroking his cock – it was like having a threesome with two mes. It was definitely weird watching my own “porn.” Even though I’ve seen the video several times, I even felt weird watching it for two reasons: 1, because I was watching a porn with Ryan and 2, because I could hear us talking in third person. I found it very sexy that he got super hard, super fast to our video. I also find it sexy that he actually came in my mouth the exact same time he came on the video in my ass. It was like a weird 5th dimension double orgasm. Listening to myself beg for him to release it all into my ass, while I felt his penis pumping cum into my mouth. It was a compliment in every way.
Overall, we liked that we were together experiencing a partially-mutual (partially because I was not masturbating) intimate moment. However, as we were discussing things afterwards, he asked what I thought about how he skimmed through videos. Although it was a kinky moment, I told him I can see how porn habits can be unhealthy in a relationship. I wouldn’t stop him from doing it, but I can see why too much porn can be bad for the mind. This is the same guy who used to get an erection when he saw me lift up my long sleeve shirt and show part of the skin on my wrist. I used the example of using my magic wand to orgasm. For days, even weeks, I felt like my body was “immune” to less powerful stimuli (a soft, much slower tongue — when prior to the wand, I could orgasm to his tongue within 10 minutes every time). Then after abstaining from my toy, I found that I could orgasm more quickly again through oral or fingering. He also said that just me being there with him, watching and judging which video he clicked on, made him nervous and self-conscious. I understand that feeling because before I “came out” to Ryan, before openly admitting my bisexuality, I was scared to watch lesbian porn. I didn’t want to be asked why, so I understood his anxiety. Me laughing at the women actors also didn’t help. 🙁
Regardless, watching his porn habits I still can’t help to wonder if that is good for any man. I just don’t think clicking through multiple pictures, images, videos, and processing smut information in a very robotic way, is healthy. I mean, it’s almost like an overload of 1000 images at once, with his brain sorting through videos and files like he is playing slut solitaire, looking for the video that he can connect with to orgasm. It reminds me of in movies when super computers look at all the information or news videos throughout our history and realize the human race is hopeless (war/death/negativity on the news). It’s just too much information at once and desensitizes him to the simpler aspects of sex and intimacy. This can also be habit-forming and detrimental to a couple’s sex life because it can lead to desires and fetishes that weren’t there before. I’m not saying I wish we’d never done this, because in the end, he was very self-aware of what was happening step-by-step. But we may most likely not do this again…together…unless the videos were only of us. I still don’t want to stop him when he is alone though. The same as he will not stop me from using a wand when I need a quickie. Everything in moderation. I don’t want to police him or be his mother and tell him he cannot do certain things. As long as he is happy and communicates with me later what he did, I am okay with what he decides to do to relax. In the last few years, I have expressed to him that his masturbation does not turn me off and I do not judge him for it. I have even asked, that if I am sleeping (probably the only time he ever has the desire or need to masturbate), please wake me up when he is finished and let me swallow (yes, he holds his cumshot in his shaft). I prefer it. So, every other week or so, on a late Saturday night, I know he is being a naughty boy, because I get woke up with his pulsating dick in my face, the tip being squeezed to keep his cum in his shaft, ready to unload into my mouth. Boys will be boys. I just want him to know nothing he does should embarrass him, as long he is open with me about it.